I called Claire a couple of days later. When I invited her around for dinner, she started crying, thanking me profusely. I simply told her it was time for all of us to let the past go, once and for all, letting her know what time to come visit on Friday evening. Asking if she could bring her son, I assured her that was fine. Then she dropped her own bombshell.
“I know he wouldn’t have been invited anyway, but I wouldn’t worry about it. Mark, he was cheating on me…”
I could have been a right bastard and retorted with at least one cutting remark. Things like ‘Well, now you know how it feels’, or something similar. Instead, I simply said, “I’m sorry to hear that, Claire. And I do mean that. Even after everything that happened, I was genuine in the thought that I wanted you to be happy in the end.”
“Now I know how you felt. It carried on for at least a year before I found out. He kicked me out, of course, and moved her in within a month.”
“I assume you’re getting divorced?”
“We are. I’ll tell you more on Friday.” There was a pause before she added, “I’m sorry for everything, Mark. Thank you for this. I miss our children so much.”
I had a feeling, the older she was getting, the more she perhaps realised that she’d missed so much already when they were growing up. Katie and Hannah had picked up on it the entire time. Add to what she’d done to me, and little wonder that bitterness did remain, at least from our children. I’d put it all out of my mind, but perhaps the one mistake I’d made was not helping my children over that last little hump. I just hope we didn’t come to regret it later on.
“No problem, Claire. Just give me a call when you’re close.”
Hannah and Kelly prepared everything while Katie and I were at work. Arriving home, I could see the difference in all three of them. Kelly appeared amused that I’d be introducing her as my wife. Katie couldn’t help but admit to a little excitement, admitting that it was a nice feeling to finally re-connect after so long. Hannah was nervous but also retained some of the deep hurt and perhaps even a little anger about everything. We’d already agreed that she’d would have at least one face to face conversation with her mother. Katie and I changed into something more comfortable, Claire calling me around five minutes before her arrival. That’s when my daughters started to freak out a little. Considering her pregnancy, Hannah was on the verge of tears most of the time. Then there was organising the children and babies at the same time.
Opening the door to the knock, Claire stood before me with her son. She’d obviously aged over the past decade, but had clearly looked after herself at the same time. Standing to the side, I gestured as I welcome her in. “Evening, Claire. Come on in.”
I could sense her own nerves as she walked inside to be greeted by our two daughters and then my wife. First was the introduction of her son before she burst into tears and hugged Katie first. I’ll admit, I smiled when Katie hugged her back just as hard, Claire whispering how sorry she was the entire time. Katie cried at the same time, a genuine smile on her face, whispering that she was glad to see her mother again.
When it came to Hannah, I could sense both looking at each other in trepidation. The embrace wasn’t like that of her sister, but Hannah closed her eyes and I noticed more than one tear escape her.
“I’m sorry, baby,” Claire whispered, “I’m so sorry. I hope you can truly forgive me one day.”
That broke Hannah completely, watching my daughter sob in the arms of her mother. Katie joined in so both were now hugging Claire tightly, all three of them sobbing loudly. Kelly cuddled into my side as I watched their mother enjoy her first genuine loving embrace with our daughters in years. Katie stepped back as Hannah held Claire just a little longer. Motherhood had certainly helped her understand how Claire had felt about things.
“I’m sorry, Mummy, but it hurt for so long,” Hannah murmured
“I know, baby. I know. I think we’ve all done a lot of growing over the past few years. I just never knew how much I hurt you, but I promise to make it up to you.”
“We will too, Mum,” Katie added, “We were still so young at the time. Even our words had consequences we’re only now comprehending.”
Finally releasing each other, both wiping their cheeks, Claire turned to me, and I returned the grin she gave me. It was her way of saying ‘thank you’ for helping facilitate this reunion.
“Claire, this is my wife, Kelly.”
Claire knew who Kelly was. She glanced between the pair of us and, to be honest, I was waiting for her to make more than one disparaging comment, no doubt with humour to ensure the atmosphere didn’t deteriorate quickly. What happened instead was her brief embrace, which definitely surprised my wife. “Good to see you again, Kelly.”
“I’m still surprised this is happening, Claire,” Kelly replied, pulling back and holding my hand, “But Mark is right. A line in the sand needs to be drawn. And you also need to meet your grandchildren.”
The evening went splendidly. Katie and Claire certainly spent more time catching up, Hannah understandably a little quieter, but I noticed she hovered around her mother all night, both rarely not by her side. Claire also showed an interest in my life, and did ask how Kelly and I did end up together. We admitted to reservations about our dating and then marriage due to the age gap, but the fact was we’d fallen in love, and we were now happy together.
Since that night, Claire would visit once a fortnight, at least. She doted on her grandchildren. Slowly but surely, her relationship with Hannah improved, certainly quicker than even I anticipated. There was no missing how contrite Claire was regarding our daughters, realising just how awful her behaviour had been a times, particularly when she was absent while I spent most of my time raising them. It was what they’d said in court that had driven it home the first time, but that phone call, when Hannah finally unleashed all her feelings, her anger and her bitterness, hate and rage, that broke her spirit completely, but it was the moment she also realised just how damaged her relationship was.
The relationship could still be tetchy at times, but Hannah eventually found it in herself to forgive her mother completely. Katie was the first to do so, pretty much after that first reunion, letting go of any lingering ill-feeling, as she simply wanted her mother back. I forgave Claire simply to give her peace of mind, and to be honest, as I didn’t have any lingering hatred or bitterness for her, despite what she’d done, I actually felt sorry for her after the destruction of her second marriage, though at least she had her son with her. Claire managed to see the funny side about it, even in her eyes, figuring it was karma for what she’d done to me.
As for Hannah, the day I arrived home to find her fast asleep on the couch, with her head resting on Claire’s lap, my ex-wife turned to me, tears running down her cheeks. Crouching in front of her, she whispered, “Thank you, Mark. I’ve got my girls back.”
“I’m sorry it took so long.”
“You have nothing to apologise for, Mark. I got so many things wrong. Completely and utterly wrong.”
“I could have done better afterwards though. Maybe the therapy should have continued.”
“It doesn’t matter now.” She glanced down, continuing to stroke Hannah’s hair. “I always thought Katie would be the first to contact me. But I never thought I’d get Hannah back in my life. I thought it was irreparable.”
“Once she became a mother, Claire, that’s when she understood.” I took her free hand and squeezed. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Thank you, Mark. So am I.”
To this day, Claire’s focus is raising her son, her relationship with her daughters, and absolutely doting on her grandchildren. She was now living a couple of streets away in a small rental, large enough for her and her son, and a spare room for night visits from her grandchildren. Having her in our house so often is still a little weird for me at times, but I wouldn’t hesitate in suggesting that Claire and I were verging on being friends again. We didn’t exactly do anything together without the others, but we could easily sit outside by the pool with a drink and chat away about anything and everything while watching our children and grandchildren playing.
I won’t say what happened during the latter years of our marriage had been forgotten, but I’d certainly forgiven her. I think I probably done so even before I said those words, but thinking it and saying them to her was a different matter. I guess that little part of me which still hurt, even after all that time, wanted to reflect that hurt onto her. I’ve never claimed to be perfect, but I did try to be a good person. In the end, showing forgiveness was the right thing to do.
The first time I hugged her since the divorce led to more tears, more sobs of sorrow, feeling her clutch me tightly as it all poured out. The one word that she said more than once was regret. We didn’t love each other anymore but we both knew we’d lost something good, if not great. I rubbed her back and assured her that we were a family. We’d both made mistakes during the years, but what mattered most was the future. I’d ensure we’d remain some sort of unit going forward.