JESSICA
Luke has been leaving more with William. It didn’t take me long to figure out what they were doing. Especially when they are being evasive and whispering.
I am not going to let Luke put himself at risk. Today when he got back I cornered him in his room. Closing the door behind myself I block the door so he has no choice but to talk to me. “I know what you are doing.”
He smiles. “Really? Because I thought I was being sly.”
I look at him confused, this doesn’t seem like the response I was expecting. “Are we talking about the same thing?”
He winks. “I don’t know, are we? You trapped me in my bedroom, why don’t you tell me what you had in mind.”
I start shaking my head as I walk towards him. “No, I’m not trying to jump you. I know what you are doing with William.”
He looks away from me, his smile dropping. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Come on, I’m not stupid. We find the tracker and suddenly you have to do all this stuff with William. You have this secret mission that only the two of you know about. You are trying to lure out Sydney. I don’t want you in that kind of danger.”
He shrugs. “It’s not that big of a deal. We are just making it look like you are leaving the estate. We aren’t trying to trap him yet. William already said that I can’t be there for the trap. Happy now?”
I shake my head again. “You don’t know Sydney, he isn’t going to play by your rules. He makes up his own. You may think you are luring him, but he is going to lure you. Stop this now before you get hurt.”
He looks back at me. “Are you worried about me?”
“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Do you think I can’t handle it?”
“That is not what I am saying. I’m saying I don’t want you to get hurt. How is this complicated?”
He takes my hand. “If you were in my shoes, would you sit back and let that man go free.”
I sigh. “Why do you want to protect me so much? I’m nobody. Some chick you met at the gym. I shouldn’t matter enough for you to put yourself in harm’s way.”
“But you do matter. You matter more than you know. I’m not going to allow Sydney to hurt you again. You may not understand it and you may not agree with it, but this is what I am doing. I have to do something or I am going to go crazy. I can’t just sit back and let him run all over everyone. I can’t let him think he can just take you back because he thinks he has the upper hand. He’s not going to win. I don’t care what it takes, he isn’t winning this.”
“It’s not a game with winners and losers. It’s your life on the line. I can’t just watch you throw that away.”
A soft smile graces his face. Luke reaches up and cups my cheek. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m being safe. I won’t get hurt. I promise.”
I hold his hand in place. I never want him to let me go. But if this is the price that I have to pay to keep him close then I don’t want it. I don’t want him hurt. I don’t want him to put his life on the line to protect me. So, I let go of his hand and stepped back. “I don’t want you to do this. I don’t care how prepared you are. I want you to stop.”
His smile falls and he looks like he hurts with me stepping back. “Well, it’s my life and I decide how to use it.”
I felt the tears before I even realized they started falling. “Then I will have to do the same.”
I can see the panic start to transform his face. “What are you talking about?”
“If you continue to do this thing with William. I will make sure that Sydney never sees you.”
“Jessica, don’t. He will control you again. He will make you his prisoner again.”
“Then don’t go.” I would rather it be my life any day over his.
“I’ll make you a deal. William and I planned one more ride along tomorrow and then I was done. Let me finish this. Please. Please don’t go back to Sydney.”
I can’t stop the tears. “Fine, one more. But if you get hurt I am never speaking to you again. I hope you know that.”
“I won’t get hurt. I promise. It’s just one more ride. Just around the park. Nothing scary. Please trust me Jessica.”
I nod. “I mean it. Don’t get hurt.”
“I won’t.”
Still I don’t come closer to him. I feel myself falling apart and I can’t let that happen. So I leave the room. Spending the rest of the day crying in my room seems like a more appropriate response. Even if I would rather be curled in his arms, trying to capture every moment with him. Because we never know what tomorrow brings.