LUKE
I have to stop. I catch myself more often than not watching Jessica. Everything about her seems to captivate me. The way she talks to everyone, the way she plays with my nephews, the way she even talks to her dog. Her gentle smile pulls me in.
I sound like a stalker. Am I no better than the man that is following her around? I wouldn’t imprison her, but I don’t want her to go either. I want her to stay here and build a life with me. I know it sounds insane, we barely know each other. But as each day passes I can’t help but feel like she was supposed to be here. That we were supposed to meet in that gym.
Mom sits next to me on the couch. Her gaze followed mine. I try to look away before she sees, but that knowing smile crosses her lips. “She is beautiful.”
I look away completely. “Sure.”
“You know, out of all of my boys you were the one that I worried about the most.”
I look over at her. “What do you mean?”
“I was always worried that someone would come along and break your heart. You’re an all in kind of guy. You never do anything with half a heart. You push until you have everything you want. But sometimes women aren’t like that. Sometimes we need a little more.”
I shake my head. “Mom, you are confusing me.”
She chuckles. “Sometimes a woman needs a man that can love her for who she is. No changes. You may be the kind of man who would want a woman to be your ideal. I was worried that you would find a woman that you kind of like, fall for her and then she would break your heart when she wasn’t turning into the woman that you wanted. But she isn’t like that. You aren’t like that either. I know you are in most things. But you have let Jessica know that she can be who she wants. You aren’t trying to change anything about her. I know you hate dogs, but you have let that one into your heart because of her. You are the one that has changed.”
“I don’t hate dogs. I hated that dog.”
My mom laughs. “Most people did. Justin loved that dog though. Even if it didn’t listen to a word that anyone said. Anyway, my point is, Jessica is a woman that I could see you with and not have to worry.”
I sigh. “Mom, I just can’t do that.”
She takes my hand. “What are you saying?”
“I can’t force anything with Jessica. She has gone through so much. So much of her life has been dictated to her by that monster. She hasn’t been free for so long. I couldn’t take away her freedom and ask her to stay with me. What if she thinks I am just like him? That I only helped her to get her by my side. Sometimes I worry that I am starting to like her too much. Like I won’t let her go when the time comes.”
My mom squeezes my hand. “That is nonsense and you know it. You helped that woman because she needed it. You didn’t do it for ulterior motives. Wrights do tend to fall in love fast, but that isn’t exactly your fault. I know when the time comes, you will let her go if that is what she wants. You aren’t like that man. Stop thinking that.”
“How can I not? I look at her and I never want her to leave. In the past two weeks that we have been here, I can’t take my eyes off her. I feel like a stalker. Worse yet, I don’t think she even comes close to feeling the same about me.”
My mom chuckles. “Where did my confident son go? The one that against all odds bought a so-so bar and turned it into the best dating spot in town. Something to be proud of. Even when his parents didn’t support him the way that they should have. Where did that man go?”
I rub the back of my neck. “I don’t know. Maybe for once I am scared to lose something. I knew if the bar failed that I would eventually hear the end of it. Hell, I don’t hear the end of it and it’s a success, but I always figured it would be like a family joke or something. But Jessica isn’t something like that. If I fail, that’s it. There is no fall back.”
“Love shouldn’t have a fall back, Luke. If it does, it’s not the real thing. The fact that you are scared says a lot about how you feel. Just remember to treat her like a woman and you will be fine.”
“What if she doesn’t love me back?”
“That is always the risk in love. There is never a time when you know for sure until it’s time. But when you find out, it is the best feeling ever. You can ask your brothers, or your sister. They didn’t know either. It took courage and conviction. Do you think Hannah was ready to just forget everything that Justin did? Or Megan was ready to just accept everything that David said at face value? Or Isabelle didn’t think that Alex was just playing around? Or that Mia would never fall for William? They all took risks. Can you imagine them being any happier than they are now?”
I shake my head. “No, I have to say they are all pretty giddy. I think I would worry about drugs if they were any happier.”
My mother laughs. “Yeah, me too.”
“I get what you are saying mom, but I can’t push this on Jessica right now. She needs space and time to figure things out. To get free from her prison and just be her. You understand that, right?”
“Luke, I understand. Just don’t wait too long to tell her alright?”
“I’m sure I will know when the time is right.”
She squeezes my hand again. “That is all a mother can ask.”