Lily’s POV
Where are we headed now?”. Mr. Mark asked after a while of awkward silence.
“To see Daisy”. I said in a firm tone without looking at Mr. Mark.
“What?, w.. what do you mean?”. He stuttered out with confused eyes.
“We’re going to see Daisy.” I said again in a duh tone shrugging my shoulders.
“I heard you the first time Ma, but who’s D.. Daisy?”. He swallowed hardly as he gripped the steering wheel tighter.
“Mr. Mark.” I sighed and took his hands that had turned white from gripping the wheel tightly and held them in mine.
“Yes Ma”. He responded
“We’re going to see Daisy, your daughter.” I rubbed his hands softly as I spoke.
“Why?”. He retracted his hands as his face morphed into an expressionless state.
“Well you just said that you made this for her.” I said pointing to the cup he had just created. “And you admitted that you would like to take it to her grave so why not now.”
“I can just do it some other time. I’m sure you have somewhere else that you would like to go to Ma.” He protested.
“Mr. Mark?”. I called out.
“Yes Ma.” He responded tight lipped.
“I don’t have anything planned for today. Even when I set out from the house, I didn’t have a plan. All we’ve done today have been out of impulse, and if we want to look at things closely, going to Daisy’s grace to gift her this would be the only intentional thing I have done so far today.”
“But..”
“Please no buts Mr. Mark. We’re gifting her this today. Tomorrow is not certain so let’s make the most of today.” I urged him.
“Alright, I guess we’re going there now.” He sighed and turned to the wheel again.
“Good. We should leave now.” I responded with a smile on my face.
We put on our seatbelts and Mr. Mark began the journey to the cemetery, or maybe that was what I thought.
His hands gripped tightly on wheel all through the ride and we were both enveloped in a tender silence. My silence was spent pondering on what was going through his mind and how he must be feeling now. With the way he acting so tense, I assumed that he was very nervous to see his daughter today, and even more because I was going with him.
“Where are we going?”. I asked in panic as Mr. mark took a sharp turn in the opposite direction of the cemetery.
“To see Daisy”. He responded in a duh tone with his eyes trained on the road. For some reason it seemed so creepy and those words seemed like they had a hidden meaning, like he was going to kill us both so we would literally see Daisy.
“W.. what?”. I gasped in fear. “But the cemetery is that way”. I pointed to the opposite direction with wide eyes.
“I know that Ma. She isn’t there.” He responded in a low calm voice. My whole body was about to turn to lava.
“Then w.. where is she?”. I stuttered out as i held on to my seat belt tightly and stared at him wide eyed.
“You’ll see.” He responded without looking at me.
“But we’re going out of town, where are we headed Mr. Mark.” I asked again in a firm voice this time, or maybe that was what I thought because I knew for a fact that my body was shaking and so was my voice.
“Madam please just calm down, you’re amusing me.” He laughed and glanced at me for second before focusing back on the road. I stared back at him with fear and panic in my eyes, I couldn’t just calm down. What the hell was
going on.
“I’m amusing you. Wow.” I exclaimed sarcastically while rolling my eyes.
“Yeah you are. Did you think I was going to harm you?”. He asked with an amused glint in his eyes.
“Not exactly. Why would I think that way”. I scratched my neck nervously as I chuckled dryly.
“It’s written all over your face Ma. I can easily tell.” He chuckled.
“Well, it’s your fault because you did not drive into the cemetery and now we’re driving out of town to an unknown location so please forgive me if I’m a little paranoid”. I huffed and filed my arms.
“You remind me so much of Daisy”. He said quietly with twinkle of admiration in his eyes.
My heart swelled immediately and it reflected on my face as a soft smile formed in my face.
“We’re here.” Mr. Mark said as the car came to a stop.
I got down from the car slowly star struck. My mouth was left hung open as I took in the scenery before me. “This is stunning”.
I gasped in amazement. We were parked in a very beautiful and colorful garden, filled with numerous flowers that looked and smelled nice. The small garden had a lake in the middle. Everything about this place could be described as something that was painfully and exceptionally beautiful. Even the air smelled and felt like it would taste nice.
Birds were chipping and numerous butterflies flied around.
“Indeed it is”. Mr. Mark spoke up. “This way”. He sighed and gestured for me to follow him.
I walked behind him quietly as I absorbed the atmosphere. I wish I could have put some of it in a bottle so I could bring it out whenever I wanted to have this feeling.
“Here she is”. Mr. Mark said in a low tone. I moved out from behind him to get a clearer view of what he was showing to me.
My eyes watered as soon as it set on the tombstone that was near the lake. “Daisy Mark ( 2005-2022). Always in our hearts.”
The tombstone was covered in some flowers that had overgrown on it but regardless it looked beautiful.
“I decided to bury her here instead of the cemetery because I knew she would have loved to be in a place like this. This place also reflects the life of Daisy. She was as vibrant and beautiful as this garden.” Mr. Mark explained as knelt down and cleaned of the nonexistent dusts on the tomb stone.
“I’m sure she loves it here.” I sniffled choking back a sob. Truly she would have been as old as I am now. It was truly sad for someone to die at such a young age. All I could think of were all her unfinished dreams and all the adventures she planned to take and all the places she wished to see. I wonder what cut her life so such. She seemed like a promising young lady.
I wasn’t better than her but yet here I was. I guess these were some of the many things we should be thankful for.
I watched as Mr. Mark brought out the pottered cup and placed on the tomb stone. “My beautiful Daisy, see what I made for you. Do you like it?. I’m sure you do.” He conversed with his daughter.
The scene in front of me was so gut wrenching and I couldn’t bear it any longer so I dashed out of the scene, leaving Mr. Mark behind. I guess he would use the privacy to tell her everything that he wanted to say.
Now that I had witnessed this, I realized that I had not paid my mother a visit ever since I got married. It’s by far the longest I had been without going to her. I felt terrible but also conflicted. There were so many matters I was left in the dark on that made me so confused. One on stand I wanted to remain angry at her for having all these secrets and on the other hand I just needed to feel her again.
I guess I had to accept that she was never coming back and I would have to get my answers else where. I sighed as a made a mental note to visit her soon.
I stood by the car for a while enjoying the cool breeze and the sweet atmosphere when I heard the sound of Mr. Mark’s feet approaching.
I turned around sharply to meet his eyes but he kept them low, facing the ground. I knew that moe so well so I did not bother to comment on it.
He got into the car quietly and I did same before he zoomed off.
“Thank you.” He whispered out. The drive back into the city was mostly quiet. This time it wasn’t awkward or tense just comfortable.
“Mmm”. I responded and flashed him a smile to which he returned with a small smile of his. “How do you feel?”. I asked quietly.
“I..”. He turned to look at me. “I don’t know how I feel.” He responded in a calm tone.
“That’s alright.” I responded and I did not push further.
There was something that many people did not understand, including myself. Grief was not something that you could throw into a pit or hide under a blanket. If that is done, it would only seem to be okay or things would appear to be fine until it’s late at night and you want to go to bed, then you have to open up that blanket and have it blow up in your face.
Crying and grieving does not make anyone less than who he is. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to not know how you feel. It’s alright to not know when you’re be able to feel. It’s okay to not know when you’ll feel better.
It is all part of the process.