7 Years Later…
Sarina
I never thought Maximus would make it real- that we would have many children. After our second child, Chastity turned one, I gave birth year after year. Now, our youngest, Chandler, just celebrated his first birthday.
Maximus is still the same as before when it comes to his work. So, he was even more successful, especially with the hotel, resort, and casino. He still tries to come home early to spend time with me and the kids.
Everything seems fine, and I’m happy-our family is happy. But I don’t know why there is a part of me that feels uneasy. I often get angry for no reason, and sometimes, I see the frustration on my husband’s face. I don’t know; maybe it’s just me.
I try to hide these feelings because of our kids, especially since I’m still breastfeeding our youngest. With the children coming one after the other, I couldn’t return to work or pursue my dream of becoming a doctor. How could I when eight children need me all at once?
We have nannies, but I can’t fully trust them. Lisa and her family are still with us. I know I trust them, but I don’t know why I always feel afraid.
“My wife-” I quickly turned when the door to our room opened, and Maximus walked in. I hurriedly closed the robe I had opened while looking at myself in front of the mirror.
“Do you need something, my husband?” I asked with a smile as he approached me after closing the door.
“Aries called. He said I’m needed at the office. The manager of Luxuria called him about an incident involving a celebrity bullying one of the staff.”
“Oh, I see. What time do you think you’ll be home?” I asked.
“I’m not sure, but I’ll try to return early for dinner.” I smiled at him and nodded. Then he looked at me as if he had something to say.
“Is there something else you want to tell me?”
“Nothing, I’m just sad I won’t be able to join you and the kids for lunch.”
“It’s not always like this. And besides, you’re doing great as a father and husband.”
“Thank you, my wife.” Then he embraced and kissed me before heading into the walk-in closet to change while I watched him. I walked over to the bed and sat down. A few moments later, Maximus emerged, all dressed up.
I couldn’t help but notice how handsome he still looked. I’m sure many women still look at him and find him attractive. He’s still so good-looking, as if nothing has changed since I first met him. His eyes sparkle, and his body is still muscular-it’s like time hasn’t touched him. I felt a wave of insecurity. It seems like there’s a huge gap between how we look now. While he still looks like Maximus, my boss, over a decade ago, I feel the weight of the years on my appearance.
He glanced at his phone, slipped it into his pocket, and smiled at me. “I’m heading out now, my wife.”
I nodded, stood from the bed, and kissed him. I straightened his necktie slightly before he finally left our room.
I sat back on the bed and looked at myself after he left. Eight years had passed since we got married while I was pregnant with our second child. My appearance, especially my body, had changed so much.
I stood up again, walked to the mirror, and examined every curve of my body. I couldn’t help but sigh. I used to be happy with my appearance-smooth skin, even if not fair, and full of life. Now, the changes brought by time and the eight children I’ve given birth to are clear. My once flat stomach now bears stretch marks and loose skin. My arms, which used to be firm and toned, now seem unfamiliar.
Sometimes, I wonder if he still loves me as he used to? Does he still see me as the woman he once loved, or am I just the mother of his children now? I know it’s shallow, but I can’t help but ask myself these questions. What if he starts looking at other women, those whose bodies haven’t changed?
I try to stay strong. I know our children are a blessing, and each mark on my body is proof of the sacrifice I made for them. But in moments like these, I can’t help but worry, question, and doubt myself.
I shook my head and took a deep breath. I can’t feel this way just because of how I look. I must care for myself if I don’t want Maximus to see me differently. He never stops me from doing anything I want. I know that if I decide to, he’ll support me.
I looked at myself in the mirror again and sighed deeply, but this time, I tried to change my mindset. Yes, my body has changed, but along with those changes are the memories that built my life. Every mark on my skin is proof of the eight lives I brought into this world-eight children I love more than anything, and that’s something to be proud of.
I don’t need to be perfect for Maximus. I know that he doesn’t love me just for how I look. He even fell for me when he didn’t know my true identity, but he eventually knew it was me because of his love.
I also know he loves me more because of everything we’ve been through, all the sacrifices and joys we’ve shared, because I feel the same way. I thought of the sleepless nights with a crying baby, the nights I spent caring for our children, and the days when I chose them over myself. Those moments shaped who I am today.
I know I can’t avoid doubting myself sometimes, but I must also remember that I am strong. Not just physically but in every aspect of life. Being a mother, wife, and woman isn’t easy, but here I am-strong, whole, and still fighting. My worth isn’t measured by my body, as a mother, or as a wife.
I fixed my hair and smiled slightly at my reflection. I’m not perfect, but I am enough. I know Maximus loves me, and more importantly, I love myself-changes and all.