I woke during the night to an empty bed. I wish I could say I was surprised but I wasn’t. I should have known he wouldn’t have come home. Maybe he didn’t feel right staying at my parents’ house? Or maybe I should stop making excuses for him.
I grabbed my phone from the bedside drawers before getting out of bed. I was hungry, thirsty and sore. Heading downstairs I jumped when I spotted my dad sitting at the kitchen table smoking a cigarette.
“Why are you sitting in the dark?”. I asked.
“Winding down darling. How you doing?”.
“I’m okay”. I got a glass from the cupboard and poured myself some water before sitting down next to him.
“Your moms’ worried bout you Ava”.
“She doesn’t have to be”. I grabbed his smokes taking one out and lighting it up. “I’m fine, I’ll be okay”.
“I ain’t gonna give you a lecture sweetheart, just tell me you’ll come to us if you need to”.
I nodded. He knew I didn’t want to talk about it, so he left it alone and that’s what I loved about him. I knew he was there if I needed to talk and sometimes it was easier talking to him than my mom.
“I met Sammie”. I spoke.
A small chuckle fell from his lips. “Sammie’s one of the good ones’ darling”.
“You can’t touch this dad; you can’t go anywhere near it”.
“Aye darling”.
“I mean it. They’ll lock you up and throw away the key and mom doesn’t need the hassle of worrying about you”.
“It’s being dealt with Ava and that’s all you need to know”. He stubbed out his cigarette before getting to his feet. “You just take it easy and rest”. Placing a kiss on the top of my head he left me in the kitchen still sitting in the dark.
I finished my cigarette, grabbed a slice of left over pizza and headed back to bed. ..
When I woke later in the morning I showered first and changed into sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. My mom had already dropped Everleigh off at pre-school and was at the clubhouse.
I was to give her a call when I woke.
I felt fresh, still a little uncomfortable and still bleeding but I was handling it. The bleeding would soon stop, and the cramps would go away. I poured myself some coffee and called my mom.
“Hey baby”. She answered.
“You should have woken me. I wanted to see Everleigh; I could have dropped her off”. Mom guilt was creeping in because recently I felt I wasn’t around as much as I should be.
I didn’t want to be absent from her life. I know my mom was only trying to help and I appreciated her and my dad so much, but Everleigh was my child, my responsibility.
“You need to rest sweetheart. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting you sleep in. How are you feeling?”. She asked.
“I’m fine. Is Blaze at the clubhouse?”. If he wasn’t there then who knows where he was. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s been locked up.
“He’s here sweetheart. He’s not long got in”.
“Got in from where?”. I frowned.
“Are you planning on coming over here?”. She asked.
I shrugged and then remembered she was on the phone and not in front of me. “I wasn’t going to but now I feel like I need to”.
“Do you want me to tell him to come to you?”.
“No, don’t do that”. I made a face. “I’ll be over soon. I’m going to drop by the hospital and the grocery store and then I’ll stop by”.
“The hospital Ava really?”. She sighed.
“I have a few things I need to sort out”. I had to apologise to Ally. She wasn’t answering any of my texts and I was worried she wasn’t talking to me. Not that I would blame her. I wasn’t exactly the nicest to her.
“You’ll come to us if you need anything won’t you A?”. She spoke.
My mom always worried about me; it was the same when I was growing up. But I loved that she cared as much as she did. Not many people had that, and I was grateful for the mom that I had.
“Can I still stay for a few more nights?”. I asked.
“Of course, baby. Stay as long as you want”.
“Thanks mom. I love you”.
“I love you too baby”.
Ending the call, I went about getting ready. Putting my shoes on and grabbing my jacket it wasn’t until I was leaving out the front door that I realised I didn’t have my car.
I had no way of getting anywhere if I didn’t have my car or a car. Dialing his number, I put the phone to my ear waiting for him to answer.
“Aye darling?”.
I had no idea why I was calling Jared and not Blaze. Maybe a little part of me was angry with him?
“Could you pick me up and take me to get my car?”. I asked.
“Ava”. He sighed. “Why aren’t you calling Blaze for this?”.
I chewed the inside of my cheek. I don’t know why I was calling Jared, no, wait I do. It’s because he always answers, he’s always there for me when I need him.
“I don’t know”. I spoke. “He didn’t come home last night”.
“Call Blaze darling”.
He hung up on me. I pulled the phone away from my ear and typed in Blazes number. He answered on the second ring.
“Hey baby”. He answered.
“Could you take me to get my car please?”.
“Aye darling just give me 10 minutes to shower and I’ll drive over”.
“Okay”. I hated the awkwardness I felt. This was Blaze it shouldn’t be like this with him. I shouldn’t feel awkward around him.
“Ava”.
“Yeah?”. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth.
“We good?”.
“Why didn’t you come home last night?”. I asked.
“I got caught up at the house. I should have called but it was late, and I didn’t want to wake you. I’m sorry darling, I’m sorry I haven’t been there”.
He was at the house? Our house?
“Our house?”. I frowned.
“Aye darling. Those fuckers didn’t exactly leave it in a good state, but you don’t have to worry about going home because I sorted it”.
I felt the lump appear in the back of my throat. I thought he was out on a job, or he got caught up with club business but no, he was making sure our home was safe for me to go back to.
“I called Jared”. I spoke. “I called him to come get me when I should have called you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry for not coming to you I just-…”. I paused.
“Hey”. He whispered. “If you need to call Jared then you call Jared. I just want you to be okay darling. I haven’t exactly been the best for you right now”.
No, that wasn’t true. I wasn’t giving him the chance. I was expecting him to run off like he always did but this time he was here, and I was treating him like he wasn’t.
He was present. He wanted to help me through it. I had to remember we both lost our baby not just me.
“I still should have called you”. I whispered.
“You doing okay?”. He asked.
“I think so. Haven’t really thought about it. Last night keeps playing in my mind. They were horrible to me Blaze. Treated me like I had done something wrong”.
“Aye darling and they’ll pay for ever laying a fucking finger on you. Mark my words sweets it ain’t over”.
“I met Sammie”.
“Aye fucking Sammie. I’ll be there soon so be ready and I’ll meet you out front”.
“Okay”.
I made sure the doors were locked before leaving and everything inside was switched off. I waited out front on the porch for Blaze to show up.
When the grey Saab pulled into the driveway my stomach dropped as I quickly got to my feet. My hand clutched my phone as I backed myself against the door. Only when Sammie stepped out a sigh of relief fell from my lips.
“Are you okay?”. She frowned.
“Yeah, what are you doing here?”.
“Looking for Blaze actually. Have you seen him?”.
“No”. I shook my head. “But he’s heading over here now. Is everything okay?”.
“I thought we were leaving this to me?”. She spoke. “For me to handle this Blaze and everyone else needs to stay clear. Detective Scotts house was petrol bombed last night”.
Oh.
“Is he dead?”. I asked.
“He wasn’t home Ava, but he could have been. You want justice then they need to back off”.
“And you think this was Blaze?”. I asked.
“I hope he has a solid alibi because word from the top is they’re already planning to arrest him”.
I thought she was here to help?
“Arrest him for something he didn’t do?”. I made a face. “That sounds about right but you can tell him yourself”. I nodded my head. “He’s just pulled up”.