Sure she’d come like a damn wildcat, but that was just her letting her body go and enjoy what we were doing, it was her mind or more importantly her heart into it at all? I needed to know, but was afraid of not just feeling like a fool, but upsetting her. If mom felt I couldn’t put this behind us she would feel as if she had done something wrong to me and blame herself.
I rubbed my eyes and sighed in frustration. I was exhausted, but no way could I sleep. I decided to let my mind drift in hopes either I would reach a decision or sleep would sneak up on me. I replayed the rest of the day after we’d left Uncles hotel room and had to smile at what, for the most part was a very good night.
It didn’t start off too well. Mom was silent the entire ride home. Even when I tried to make small talk she seemed distant and I noticed she wouldn’t look over at me. With a sinking feeling that things were not going to be okay after this, I looked out the window and tried not to keep replaying the wild scene in front of Uncle.
Easier said than done because even as I knew Mom was upset, I could shake the images of her naked body, her mouth on my cock, her smooth pink pussy, and her ass in the air as I fucked her like she was the slut she was pretending to be. I had glanced over at her then quickly looked away when all I could picture was my cum all over her face.
To my dismay my cock stirred and it dawned on me that if just thinking of what we had done had this reaction on me I would end up stroking it to my mother just as I’m sure Uncle was doing just now. I frowned at the thought that I was now always going to see my mother in a sexual way and with her saying it ended today I was going to end up a frustrated mess longing for my mother if I didn’t find a way to get past this.
When we got home, mom entered the house, said she was going to take a bath and vanished into the large bathroom that connected her room to the girls. Originally their room had been the spare bedroom, but when dad had first passed the girls had so many nightmares, mom had moved them into that one to be close to them.
I had gone into the small bathroom that was located off the living room and took a long hot shower during which I had to force myself not to jerk off to those visions of fucking my mother. I hung around in the living room hoping mom would come out and talk, but when she did appear it was only to ask me to go pick the girls up at school.
When I brought them home however, things took on a much better tone. Katie and Sarah were thrilled to see mom home and even happier when she announced that we were all going to Chucky Cheese for pizza. Katie asked mom if she had to work and with a big smile, mom told them she had called the club and quit.
The sight of my sisters running excitedly over to my mother and hugging her made everything seem better and when mom put her arms around them , hugging them both close to her there were tears running down her cheeks.
When she saw me looking she gave me a big smiled and beckoned for me to come over. The four of us shared a group hug that a few months ago my sisters and I would have made fun of, but today we were all thrilled to just be together.
Mom then told them we weren’t going to be moving, ever and this time when they hugged her I felt the tears in my eyes. As the girls rushed out the door, mom put her arm around me, kissed me on the cheek and whispered, “We’re going to be okay, Ryan all of us.” She paused and added, “The two of us will be too, today was for love and I love you more than ever, honey, never forget that.”
We had a great time at dinner, mom and I had been stressed for so long that it was amazing to just be relaxed, laugh and have a good time. By the time we’d come home, it was time for the girls to shower and go to bed and mom and I took turns reading pages of Harry Potter to them. We all laughed when mom demonstrated a worse British accent than mine and once we left their room, mom had told me she was exhausted and going to bed.
That was two hours ago and I was still awake. Giving up, I sat up and swinging my legs onto the floor sat there trying to convince myself to be a man. Get up; go to my mother and… what? Mom let’s give this a try? Mom can we have sex again? Hey, mom I really liked how…”
I stopped on that last partially formed thought. Looking down at my bed I remembered how good mom felt curled up next to me. How amazing it was to hold her and feel her heartbeat against me and her warm breath on my neck.
How it felt to hold her the way she had me for so many years when I was younger. Sleeping with her in a way had been better than the crude sex we’d had today. Any two people could fuck, but to have that connection, that closeness that we had last night?
I stood up and slipping a pair of sweat pants on, started to grab my shirt and thought who cared? Mom had seen all of me earlier and I wouldn’t mind seeing her look at me in that way, that is if she felt as I did. I went over to my door opened it and flinched back when I came face to face with mom who had her hand raised ready to knock on my door.
“Jeez!” Mom exclaimed as she took a surprised step back, then laughed, “Couldn’t time that batter if we tried.”
“Yeah, ” I nodded, “So what’s up?” I tried to sound casual. Seeing she was here, I didn’t want to look as if I had been heading out to see her.
“We are.” She said, “I can’t sleep and you look wide awake.” She cocked her eyebrows, “Where were you going?”
“Oh, I had to use…” I shook my head, “No, I… I was going to talk to you.”
“Good, because that’s why I finally convinced myself to do after lying awake.” She stepped past me into my room and closed the door behind her, “Honey, we do need to talk.”
“Sure I…” I trailed off when I saw her thumb the lock on the door, then walk over to my bed.
Mom was wearing a short red robe that there wasn’t anything particularly sexy about except that she was in it, but my heart skipped a beat when she sat down on my bed and crossed her long legs.
“Come over here.” She tapped the bed and grinned, “I don’t bite, trust me you’d know if I did by now.”
I walked over to sit next to her, noticing that her robe was properly tied and her hair pulled back in a pony tail. Unlike earlier today and last night she wasn’t wearing any make up and all in all didn’t look as if she were dressed to seduce.
But in a way I found her even more attractive like this. This was my mother, a natural beauty who didn’t need to slut herself up to be attractive. This, not the woman in the school girl fantasy outfit was how I truly pictured my mom.
“You okay, Ryan?”
“Are you?” I asked.
“I… I will be.” She nodded. “Honey, I… I need to tell you a couple of things. Confessions might be the proper word. But before I do…” she put her hand over mine where it was resting in my lap, “I have to ask you something.”
“What’s that?”
“Ryan, did you…” she paused, “Did you… enjoy what we did?”
Oh, shit moment of truth and she’s put the damn ball in my court! What if I said yes and that’s not what she wanted to hear? What if she said no and she did want me and I blew it? I thought about what Uncle had said. Never in a million years would I have thought to use him for any type of guidance, but he had been right about how I would feel and seemed convinced that mom…
“If you don’t feel comfortable answering I understand.”
“No, I… I did, but um…” I recalled thinking about holding her and took the chance. “I think I liked last night better in a way, you know, us just being close after we, you know…”
Mom gave me a big smile and squeezed my hand. “I like that answer, Ryan, I really do.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes, because it’s how I felt too. Today… I… when I said it wasn’t what I wanted…” She stopped and took a deep breath. “I need to just talk and start from the beginning, okay?”
“Sure.”
Mom drew her leg up onto the bed and turned to the side to face me. She had let my hand go and once she had slipped her leg behind me she took my hand and placed it on her leg, sending a thrill though me. I found myself trying to look up her robe, but quickly faced her, not wanting to read more into her gesture.
“First I mislead you with Uncle.”
“What do you mean?”
“I… I didn’t do it on purpose, well not at first. If you recall I didn’t want you to go, but the reason was more than I didn’t want you to stop me if I wanted to give in to an offer from him.”
“Then why not?”
“Because… look, I lied when we were in there with him, I knew about his thing for his mother.”
“You did?”
“Your father told me about it years ago after I had made a comment about all of his step mother movies and the ones that were supposed to be real mother son. I joked that he probably paid people to pretend to be his mom. Your dad told the story that Malcolm did yesterday.”
“Okay, so what?”
“So what is there was a part of me that knew if you came with me and he saw us together and knew how desperate I was he would offer what he did. I… I feel like I set you up for it.”
“No, I caught you trying to see him without me.”
Mom sighed, “Ryan, no one knows a man like his mother. You don’t think I figured you would think I was going to go without you? You’re very protective of me I knew you would be there. I… I also could have made you leave, but I didn’t because… I… I wanted him to offer. I used you to lead him right where I wanted him, to give me what we needed by showing him what he wanted so badly, a son with his mother.”
“It’s okay.” I shrugged, “You did it for the same reason you would have done something with him alone if I wasn’t there, for the money and the girls and…”
“And for me.” She took my chin in her hand so I was looking directly at her, “Ryan, I… I’d been thinking about you in ways I shouldn’t have been before we talked to your Uncle.”
“You… you what?”
“You heard me.” Mom lowered her head, “I… when I started thinking about asking Uncle for money, which was a couple of months ago I told myself how sick he was and not to get involved, especially because your father wouldn’t want me to.”
“But when I thought of him his mother complex was one of the first things I thought of and… see there was a part your uncle didn’t mention, I think because maybe he never figured it out.”
“What’s that?” I really couldn’t care less, I wanted her to get back to her explain what she meant about thinking about me, but knew she needed to come to it in her way.
“Dad said he knew his mother said okay to Malcolm. He said he felt it was because his father was a cheat, a total dog, screwed everything that moved and she knew it, but put up with it for her sons and because, well women put up with that back then, some women anyway.”
” Point is she was lonely, neglected and wanted someone to want her. Malcolm wanted her and… I can see now he wanted her with love, not just lust. She would have been with him to feel like a woman as much to make him happy.”
“How do you know he loved her and didn’t want to just, you know…”
“Because I… I felt it from you last night and as raunchy as today was could see it in your eyes.”