NYSSA
Another week, another day to live a life I don’t know. Over and over and over again since the week before, I have tried to recall who I’m and there was no way that was goin’ to happen from the look of things.
“See you after work today,” Kazmir walked out of the dressin’ room all dressed for his day at work. “Call me with the house line if you have any issues – only my number is registered there.”
Only his number?
Am I in a cage or somethin’? I was lookin’ around me and meetin’ his gaze once more.
“I’ll call you if I need somethin’. Do you – need help with makin’ your tie?” I was tryin’ to be a good wife – although I didn’t know how to go ’bout it.
“No, thanks,” he walked to the door and I did the same. “Come, let’s have breakfast.” He said again and we were walkin’ down the stairs.
At the table, I looked at ‘im. “Why are you starin’ at me, baby?” Kazmir looked up at some point and threw me this question. “You’re tryin’ so hard to remember, aren’t you?” His mood changed and I shook my head, even though he was tellin’ the truth. What will he have me do? Not struggle at all to meet with my pasts? I heaved a sigh and now opened my mouth to speak.
“Lookin’ at you doesn’t mean I’m tryin’ to remember who you are, Kazmir,” I mouthed, not eatin’ from my plate. “I’m only admirin’ you. You look like the finest man on earth if I’m not mistaken.” I smiled and looked at the plate. “Can I make somethin’ else to eat? Do you mind? Cus’ I’m not in the mood for this kind of food. Not this mornin’.”
“Thank you,” he was on his feet and takin’ my untouched plate with ‘im to the kitchen. “Why should I mind if you want somethin’ else to eat, Nyssa? Make yourself somethin’ as soon as now, if you want. I wish I could help but I have work to do.”
He walked back to the area and walked to a spot in the livin’ room, grabbin’ his office bag from the side seat, walkin’ back to the table, and pattin’ my shoulder. “See you after work.”
“Have a good day at work.” happened to be the only words I could say, while I watched ‘im walkin’ away from the glass house and into a car I tried so hard to recall and couldn’t. What was the need to try when it was obvious that no answers would come? I thought and walked to the large kitchen, lookin’ around as I thought ’bout what to eat.
Pancakes!
“Pancakes-” my mouth murmured and I set to work, gettin’ all the needed ingredients and tryin’ to think ’bout a way to make it. To my surprise, I recalled this part of my life – how to make Pancakes and was shocked at how everythin’ needed for a meal existed in this large kitchen. Maybe it was ’cause my husband said he owns a restaurant in the kitchen. What type of restaurant? I had not the slightest idea.
In the space of an hour, the Pancakes were ready. I made myself a mug of coffee and sat back on the chair I was seated in a while ago – takin’ all of them in. What was my day goin’ to look like? Stayin’ in this penthouse that gave off the aura of bein’ in a prison? Were there no other things to do? I cleaned the dishes and started my journey up the stairs, catchin’ up with the door of the room I share with Kazmir.
The week went by and nothin’ changed. The usual routine from the other week manifested in the new week. From wakin’ up to dinin’ with Kazmir and watchin’ ‘im leave the house – I stayed back and did nothin’ but see one or two movies, with the fear of a thief lurkin’ somewhere around in the large apartment. Who lives in such a place?
One afternoon, while nappin’ in the master bedroom – there was a noise comin’ from the lower part of the house. In fear, I sat up, heavin’ a sigh. What was that ’bout? I rushed downstairs to the loud sound that came from a telephone machine.
Another sigh was heaved, and I caught up with the stand. “Hello?” I spoke into the phone, waitin’ to hear the voice of the man or woman from the other end. “Nyssa Draven speakin’. What can I do for you today?”
“Hello, honey,” it was my husband. “I love the way you sounded when the call was taken, but who were you expectin’ to call you? Did you forget I said only my number exists on the machine?”
“I’m sorry,” I mouthed. “I was asleep when the call came in. What do you want?” I sat on one of the plush couches and moped at the figure displayed on the television screen. “Is everythin’ okay with you at work?”
“Why not?” He chuckled. “Who dares Kazmir Draven?” He chuckled again, and I was on my feet. “I wanted to check on you and see if everythin’ is goin’ well over there. Have you had somethin’ to eat, baby?”
“Yes, I have,” I said and let out a sigh, tired from sleepin’ too much. Is this what my life will be like for the rest of my existence? “How is it goin’ at work? Are you good? I thought I should ask what kind of restaurant it is.”
“Oh, that,” he sounded from the other end. “We’ll talk more ’bout it later.” He promised and the call ended. Just like that?! I heaved a sigh of relief and relaxed on a couch for moments, standin’ back on my feet when it dawned on me that I needed to sip some water.
After this, I thought ’bout somethin’. Since I came back to this apartment I call home, I have done nothin’ but go to the kitchen, bedroom, and livin’ room. Was that all in this large penthouse? I walked out of the kitchen and started my tour, goin’ from room to room as I admired each part of the large apartment.
The guest room was checked and greatly admired. My legs led me through another livin’ room somewhere in the apartment and as I walked, I marked my steps back to the part of the house I recognized. I caught up with another kitchen, goin’ through it and smilin’ at the thought of havin’ such a beautiful home.
My back relaxed on the wall for moments, and I caught up with a door strangely decorated the next moment. It looked different from the others – with paints on them. Like a studio for art and their paintings? I was unsure but determined to walk past the door. The door however did not open unlike the other door in the penthouse and with this, I ran into the master bedroom and to the drawer next time Kazmir’s side of the bed.
When it opened, I retrieved some keys I had seen ‘im put in some days ago and with this, I started my way back to the strange door – with a prayer that one of the keys opened the door.
On arrival, I looked closely at the keys and caught sight of a key built like the door.
What was this ’bout? I was more curious at this point and inserted the key in its hole, twistin’ it, and was satisfied when the door opened. I now walked in and stopped in the center of the space, lookin’ around and catchin’ sight of somethin’.
It was an art studio. And now, something sparked inside of my head.
“Yes-” a smile came alive on my countenance, and I felt the spark inside of my heart again – knowin’ that my startin’ point of remembrance had just started.