Huffing out a breath of frustration, I shove dress after dress across the rail. Every dress I look at isn’t what I want. I move onto the next rail and then the next, cursing at how hard it is to find a damn dress with the very little money I have in my pocket.
Maybe it’s because I don’t know what I’m looking for exactly. I’ve never wanted to look different before.
Tasha’s birthday is tonight and she’s insistent that we go to The Wolf Cave for her birthday. At first, I begged and pleaded with her to change her mind and go somewhere else. I couldn’t tell her why when she asked. Tasha’s a good friend, but there’s no way I can’t tell her about Colton. She’d encourage simply for him owning a club.
I even offered my house, but she’s adamant to go to the one place I don’t want to go back to. I think she’s secretly hoping to run into her admirers again and this time not getting kicked out.
I sigh and pull a disgusted face at the colourful disaster my eyes have just witnessed, moving onto the next dress and hating it even more. Tasha won’t change her mind and she’d be hurt if I didn’t go. We’re going whether I like it or not and the only thing left is find something good to wear.
I decide that if I am going back to this club, I want to look good this time. My chances of bumping into Colton are high. I’m even a little agitated that I secretly hope it will happen because we haven’t spoken. I miss him, which confuses me and keeps me awake tossing and turning at night. I’m still so mad at him about everything yet I can’t stop thinking him.
It’s hard admitting the real reason why I’m searching for a new outfit. That it’s all for him. I don’t want to look like I did when he first met me. I want to look nice. Older. Maybe better than his supermodel girlfriend, though a part of me knows that’s impossible.
My phone vibrates inside my jeans pocket. No really paying attention, I pull it out and answer it. Hello ?
Hey, honey ! I blink a few times in shock. It’s my mother. How are you and Ray ?
Is that really you, mum ?
Don’t be funny, Layla, she scolds. How are you and Ray ?
I sigh silently. My parents are on a cruise somewhere. I lost track a few months ago of their whereabouts and business ventures. I don’t really care. They’re a part of my life but not really in it.
Yeah, we’re okay, I tell her distractedly as I continue flicking through the dresses on the rail. School is over, so I’m going to a club tonight.
Some exotic music plays in the background and she laughs at something, completely forgetting that she’s on the phone to me. I roll my eyes, noting how unconcerned she is after telling her that her underage daughter is off to a club.
Hello ? I ask impatiently.
Oh, sorry, your father’s doing the conga ! It’s so funny.
Ugh, I pull a face. Not a vision I want, thanks.
She doesn’t hear me. I can’t talk long. I was just calling to tell you we’ll be coming home next month for your birthday.
My eyes widen a fraction. That’s new. Oh. Great.
I’ve also put some money in your bank account for the summer. I’m sure you need some new clothes.
Although speaking to her is not something I want right now, I could have squealed out loud because of her. Ray gets the money our parents send to him to put away for food and household stuff, and he obviously gets his own money. But sometimes they remember, and we get some money to spend for holidays. This is the only time I ever get a mound of cash to go and spend on my hearts desires without having to beg Ray for money.
I smile happily, knowing exactly which shop I’m going to next. I walk out of the current one I’m in and start making my way there. Mum continues to talk about the cruise and her time with Dad. She’s somewhere in the Bahamas now. But it’s not long before the call ends abruptly without any goodbye and I’m assuming the signal’s been lost.
Slipping my phone back inside my pocket, I quicken my pace, finally coming to my favourite store, Heathers. I push open the glass door and walk inside. The familiar smell of new clothes and incense sticks wafts up my nose. Heather is sitting behind the counter and she looks up and smiles as I enter.
Layla. She beams. Coming around the counter, she laughs at my expression. You look like you need my help.
That obvious ?
Your determination is shifting the moons darling. Crazy talk. She does that often. What is it you’re after exactly ?
I scratch my head. I’m not sure. Something different ?
She gives me a wondering look. You’re trying to impress someone ?
I can’t help but blush because she’s right. I don’t know about impressing Colton, but I want to look different and possibly show him just what he’s missing. I need something that’s suitable for a club, I tell her. But I don’t want the usual, um…
Trashy pieces of material that shows off more flesh than sense ? Trust me, I know what you’re looking for. She begins looking around in thought and I watch expectantly for her to work her magic. I’m guessing the guy you’re trying to impress is sophisticated, and you want to look sophisticated for him.
Wow. I laugh at her. She hit the nail on the head. Yes.
She nods and walks over to a long rail of bagged up dresses that look like they’ve just arrived. My heart starts beating quickly with excitement. These are new in this morning. I think I have the perfect dress for you. You’re going to blow his mind. Whoever he is.
I can’t do this, or wear this. I’m out of my damn mind.
Putting my hands over my eyes, I breathe out painfully. This isn’t a good idea. What am I thinking ? How the hell did I think I could pull this off ?
Removing my hands, I look at myself in my mirror again. I’d just taken a long shower. I was relaxed and happy as I sat and curled my hair and put makeup on. I waxed, plucked and moisturized everywhere until my skin felt super smooth. I even put on some nice underwear and perfume that I’d brought new today.
But once I put on my new dress that Heather chose for me, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.
I pull at the fabric of the white dress that hugs my body. It has a corset built in and is stunning. I love it, but I’m not sure if I look good wearing it. It comes above the knee, the neckline low and showing off slightly more cleavage than I thought it would. It has some patterned design around the hem and I’ve put black stilettos to complete it.
But this dress and my confidence don’t match even though this is exactly what I wanted. It looks classy yet suitable for a night club and I don’t look like myself.