Personal

Rosalind’s POV
River took me to our training spot but once we landed, he didn’t let go of me immediately and it took everything in me not to cringe away from his touch when I recalled how he had placed that dagger to my throat so effortlessly.
Would we ever get back to where we had been in our friendship prior to that?
I had no idea but I desperately wanted to know.
River’s dark eyes noticed my stiffness, now that I thought of it that was the only reason he would hold me so close.
He let go of me, his voice unbearably formal.
“What do you want to know?”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat.
“Was our friendship real or did Estella just make you do it?”
It seemed that I had surprised River for the second time that night.
“I thought that you would be more focused on magical questions.
I blushed slightly. For all my ‘lack of interest’ in magic, I was itching at the bit to try it out again but there were things more important than that.
Like friendships. Or at least I hoped that was the same for him.
I looked up at River.
“I am but I need to know this a little bit more. It’s personal.”
River was silent.
Silent enough that in that moment, I could hear my heart breaking at the thought that all our mentor, and mentee moments, all the little fights and arguments we had, all the times he tried to encourage me while making fun of me in his own unique way were fake.
He spoke finally and I found myself latching on to every word that came from him.
“I was asked to stay close to you,”
My heart broke and my eyes fell from his.
His hand came under my chin tipping it up so that I could meet his gaze.
A small fragile smile played on his lips.
“You are still my friend because there was no way we weren’t going to be, especially after I kidnapped you and you drooled all over me.”
My jaw dropped in shock. I never drooled! Ever. I would know seeing as I was actively sleeping with two men. They would have told me.
Killian most especially.
“That’s not true.”
A teasing smile crept up River’s face, mischief shining in his black eyes.
“Isn’t it?”
I thought of going to bed pressed against Killian only to wake up and find him gone and horror soared within me.
Had he left not because he was allergic to intimacy but because I drooled on him?
“Come on, it’s not true. Right?”
River laughed and just like that we were cool again. Maybe I had zero sense of preservation to be friends with someone who could potentially end my life but what was life without risks?
Then my more pressing question came to mind as I thought of Councilman Arthur and the book that I had seen in the library, of the so-called attack that the purebloods had made on the Southern Paw.
“River, I want to know something.”
He regarded me seriously, his humor fading slightly. “What is it?”
How could I word this? “How true is it that the current council knows about magic? Do they use it?”
It was crazy because finding out that werewolves were technically cursed witches who could still use magic depending on the purity of their bloodlines brought one question.
Who was who?
We smelt the same. We looked the same and pretty much scored the same from the little I could deduce.
Why would there be a shipment containing anything magical in the Southern Paw if there was no one to use it in the first place?
River nodded sharply answering my query.
“We think so.”
My brief furrowed in confusion. Think?
What did he mean ‘think’?
“Think? Estella acted like she knew all of this for sure.”
River shrugged. “She’s the best and one of our strongest. She will occasionally have information that she chooses to keep to herself for whatever reason. That’s what keeps her in charge.”
I slid a glance at him. “And you are okay with that? With not knowing?”
River met my gaze. “I chose her to be my leader. I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t trust her. I trust her enough to know that if she is keeping something it is for our good.”
Somehow thinking of Estella, I didn’t see her as the sort of person who would do much for the public good.
If she was doing something. Anything. It was for herself and herself alone.
“But can you say the same for yourself?”
River’s words drew me out of my head. “What?” I didn’t understand what he had just said.
River’s dark hair moved with the wind. “You. Do you have faith in your council and your princes that if they hide something from you, it could only be for your good?”
I started to speak, to dispute that fact. I couldn’t speak for the council because if you asked me, they were just a bunch of insufferable cows but I could speak for my princes.
The princes I lied to every day that I can do here. Every day that I was with them and kept this side of me from them for one reason or the other.
It felt hypocritical of me in hindsight to question Estella when I was doing the exact same thing that she was. Hiding secrets for my personal gain.
“Look, Rosalind, no administration is perfect.” River didn’t sound snide or mocking as he clarified. “We, purebloods, are few left. We need to trust ourselves. And work together as a whole trusting that while we cannot see the full picture, it is for our preservation as a species.”
I looked at him so sure and trusting in his beliefs. I wanted to ask him if he was this way because he felt eternally grateful that they had taken him in late despite the fact that he had an ‘off vibe’.
“I don’t know much admittedly because that sounds a lot like they are using you, River.”
River didn’t seem as disturbed by this suggestion as I thought he would be.
“Everyone uses everyone. Every one of us knows what we are doing, the risk involved but we don’t mind the risk.”
I couldn’t voice my opinion on how scary that was to hear. It was almost like they were brainwashing them to turn them into an army.
I thought back to all the fighting I had seen here with different eyes. I hoped I wouldn’t have to stand against River one day in a battle.
He playfully knocked my shoulder back with a light punch.
“Enough talk, let’s spar.”
I almost groaned in frustration. Somehow I thought with the ban on my magical training gone, I would shelf the more physical aspects to focus on that alone.
There was no hope of that however as River sparred with me moving far too quickly. I really hoped I never met him in an actual fight because he would obliterate me.
I fought using the principles he had taught me looking for openings in his stance, his attacks but he was well shielded.
In the end, I found myself staying on the defensive and shielding myself from him for the next several hours.
He put me on my back again and again to the extent that I might have as well spent the rest of the night lying on my back staring up at the sky.
We took a break and the next morning we were up again training.
“Okay, River, I get it.” I rasped after our fourth fight the next day. “You are a terrific fighter. You can stop trying to obliterate me.”
River raised his eyebrows. “Do you think that is what this is about?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, you tell me.”
“Your ban on magic has been lifted,” He began shifting into an attack stance again. “You need stamina to wield magic. So your physical body must be beyond strong to bear that burden.”
Oh, Goddess. At this rate would I ever learn magic?
“So I won’t learn magic till I am physically strong enough?” I grumbled. “That could take forever!”
“Oh,” River seemed taken aback. “You will start learning magic today. Just the basics though. We will intensify your training as your stamina builds up.”
I almost fainted with excitement. I was going to start using magic today!
“Come, I want you to see something.” River stretched out his hand to me and I took it quickly, a little bit too eager to be done with this training.
He took me to go and see the people sparring with magic telling me the reason behind using each form and the practicality behind them but I could only stare in amazement.
The way each form flowed into each other, each attack countered and realigned. It looked so beautifully coordinated that the winner was a mystery till the very end.
I looked at River.
“I want to move like that one day.”
He nodded approvingly.
“You will.”
Then he moved and I knew what he was going to say before he said it.
“We will do a small training with your magic now.”
I stilled, my breath coming so fast that I felt almost dizzy.
River settled behind me, his hands on my shoulders as though silently calming my nerves.
“Apart from the fact that there is a continuous feedback loop, where your every magic-imbued movement comes at a cost, you should know that magic is both physical and mental.”
Physical as in the water, steam, and air fights that we had been watching. Mental as in the time I almost blew up his brains and the time that I had battled with the Rock of Surrender.
His hands on my shoulders now felt like an anchor more than anything.
“Today, we will try to work with your physical aspect.”
Well, that at least would be less dangerous than what we had done before.
“Take a deep breath,” River instructed.
It was the same method as before but instead of trying to call out any magic in me, we were trying to streamline what I was drawing on.
It was easier.
River’s voice directed me steadily. “Can you feel it?”
I didn’t know what exactly it was but I felt… full. And hot.
I didn’t know if it was my proximity to River or the magic though.
I felt River’s hand on my hands prying them open, his hand beneath mine and my palms facing up.
“Good, now draw it out. Tease it out little by little and let it gather on your palm. ”
I didn’t know what exactly he meant by teasing it out but I imagined the magic within me that made me feel so saturated and I focused on calling out a single thread of it to my palm.
With my eyes shut, the first indication that something had shifted was the heat on my palm.
My eyes flew open and wide in shock as I stared at the little blue flame on my right hand.
Was this real?
River sounded impressed. “Great, this means your right hand is your dominant one for magic.”
I couldn’t stop staring at the flame dancing on my hand.
“Now try making it bigger. Keep spooling it into your hands. Bit by bit.”
I imagined tugging on that imaginary thread bringing more into my hand and the flame arched up almost up to my eye level, the flames changing to a deep red.
My eyes widened in wonder.
“Wow.”
It didn’t even feel hot. Just warm. A soothing kind of warm.
“What if it gets too big?” I asked, still staring at it.
“You are the one giving it power. Just focus on severing your hold on it and the fire will die off.”
River’s thumb brushed the back of my hand and the fire went out.
For a moment we lingered that way, my body pressed against his, his hand on mine.
Then he moved away from me quickly as though he had been burned and my cheek felt so hot that I couldn’t meet his gaze.
“We should take a break.”
I cleared my throat. “Sure.”