Love

Rosalind’s POV
I paced my room.
I just came out of the shower, to wash off my arousal so as to prevent triggering any violence when I went to see Cillian.
The look in his eyes as he left my room deeply bothered me and I wouldn’t feel good until we had gotten a chance to speak to each other.
I heard a knock on my door and I hurried to it. The maud I had sent to check if the council was still in session stood outside.
“Are they done?” I asked her.
She bowed and nodded. “Yes Princess, Prince Cillian is in his bedchamber currently.”
“Thank you. You may leave.”
I checked my reflection in the mirror one more time before heading away towards his room.
As I approached the door, I heard the sound 9f raised voices making me to pause midstep. I wasn’t the people I was expecting who were arguing.
From the sounds of it, it was Adelyn versus Cillian.
“Why are you doing this to me, Cillian?” Adelyn sounded frustrated and in pain, her voice thick with either annoyance or tears or both.
Cillian didn’t seem bothered.
“Leave my room, Adelyn.”
Why was I surprised at his reaction? This was Cillian after all, he was loyal to a fault and although he had seen me with his brother, he didn’t seem to want to avenge that by being with Adelyn.
That was just the sort of person that he was. Was unworthy of such a level of intimacy?
“No,” Adelyn wasn’t able to accept this rejection. “I am your mate.”
Cillian let out a terrifying growl that made me glad that I was far from where they stood.
“Don’t ever come back here.”
I didn’t hear what Adelyn said in response yet but I heard the opening of the door and I hurriedly scrambled for a place to hide, managing to tuck myself into a nearby walkway before Cillian tossed her out of his room and I heard her anguished cry at his rejection.
Then he slammed the door shut. I wanted to move but I waited until I heard Adelyn shuffle by me.
Then I went up to Cillian’s door and after hesitating for a few seconds, I knocked.
“I said leave!” Cillian growled and I stopped knocking immediately.
I would try calling out to him instead.
“Cillian?”
I heard whatever he was doing pause on the inside and his soft hesitant whisper.
“Rosalind?”
My voice felt very weak and remedy as I responded to him, hoping against all hopes that he wouldn’t ignore me.
“Can we talk?”
I was almost certain that he would not let me in but surprisingly, he did.
After what felt like an interminably long period of time, I heard his voice.
“Alright.”
The door clicked open.
Pushing it open, I entered his room and my steps felt wooden beneath me as I walked towards him but he didn’t stop me like he did before even though his jaw worked.
I moved to the front of him, breaking his view of the broken mirror he stood in front of. I looked at the ground at the broken shards that he had been picking up. I wondered if it was me that he had been thinking of as he had done it or if it was Adelyn that had irritated him so.
I looked at his bruised hands that he had used to break the mirror, some blood on the ground.
Meeting his eyes, I took his hand in mine then I kissed his bruised knuckles, my heart hurting for him.
As I lowered his hands to drop it, they latched In mine and I looked at him, my eyes meeting his beautiful hazel ones. I wished that I could say that I felt nothing looking at him but it felt like I was going through as much pain as he was.
Yet, I couldn’t say that seeing him like this had robbed me of any desire to be with Killian. It hadn’t. I still wanted to be with Killian tonight as much as I wanted to be with Cillian.
Was this right? I wasn’t sure. Killian would tell me that I was overthinking things and Cillian would look at me with those soulful tortured eyes that made me question any and everything.
“I’m sorry,” The words escaped my lips before I could think about it too much but the moment it was out, I found myself rephrasing what I just said. “Actually, no I’m not sorry for kissing Killian, touching him.”
I met Cillian’s eyes. “But I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt. I’m sorry that you had to find out this way. I love you but I found it so difficult to you about this.”
Cillian’s hands fell from mine, his brows drawing together as he frowned.
“What do you mean, Rosalind?”
I didn’t look away from his eyes.
“Killian and I are extremely attracted to each other. I don’t know if I love him as I do you. That was why I hesitated to tell you because even I don’t fully understand what this is.”
I took a deep breath hoping this wouldn’t be the end of Cillian and me as I hit the final nail in the coffin. “Killian and I are pretty close, I don’t want to lose that. But I can’t lose you either. I can’t leave him for you or you for him.”
Cillian’s face was suddenly unreadable and I felt a chill down to my bones. His words only worsened it because I already knew my answer.
“And if I say I can’t share you?”
I swallowed hard, my breath hitching as the words stuck in my throat. “You might lose me.”
And I might lose him as well. I recalled that first day, our first touch as he helped me up. I recalled our first kiss here in this palace. Goddess, I could die if he left me. But I couldn’t leave Killian either.
I had always thought the heart was only capable of loving one person romantically at the same time. How wrong I had been.
Cillian didn’t say anything and my heart sank. He wouldn’t be able to share me with anyone else of course. I was the one who was being selfish by wanting to keep both brothers.
I was at the door opening it to leave the room when Cillian pulled me into his arms with one hand and shut the door with another.
“I can’t lose you, Rosalind.”
He dipped his head and captured my mouth in a passionate kiss.
As his tongue swept through my mouth, I was simultaneously amazed by the way he has chosen to accept me this way rather than five me to change my mind or let me go.
Cillian pulled away from the kiss but I tightened my grip on him and when his eyes met mine questioning, I licked my lips feeling vulnerable.
“I want us to… I want to…”
My words hung in my throat. “I want to…”
Cillian looked amazed then he laughed. “You want us to have sex.”
I coloured feeling embarrassed, feeling glad that it wasn’t Killian who would have teased the hell out of me for being unable to say ‘sex’.
“Yes.”
Cillian looked me over carefully making sure that I knew what I was agreeing to.
“You want this, don’t you?” He asked as though I had the strength to say no.
I had been hesitant for too long. No more. I wanted him. I wanted all that he could offer me and I needed it now.
“Goddess, yes.”
His lips met mine with all the hunger of passion suppressed for far too long and our tongues moved in an intricate intimate dance.
His hands hiked my gown up and he tore off my panties, sliding two of his fingers into me. Even though I was slick, so slick my inner thighs were wet, it was a tight fit.
It reminded me of how Killian had touched me earlier on but this felt different. Deeper somewhat maybe because I had decided to give it all up to Cillian. It felt right.
He was the one I met first. The one I loved first.
I moaned from the pleasure and the pain and the meld in between.
“You feel so good and warm. Goddess I have missed this.” Cillian’s voice was so thick with arousal that I could barely make out his words. “You are driving me crazy, Rosalind.”
Without another word, he buried his face in my neck, his tongue tasting, dropping little kisses and bites interspersed which made me want to lose It, to spin out of control.
I let my hips do what they wanted, which was grinding against his full length even as his fingers moved within me.
Lifted me, his tongue still on my nape as he deposited me on his bed and for a minute, he just regarded me from above like I was a wonder.
His hand handled my breasts, his touch hungry and harsh as he pinched and rubbed alternating between both breasts.
And his fingers found their place within me again. He began to push in a third finger and I winced.
Then suddenly he pulled away leaving me cold, bereft, empty and breathless.
“Cillian.” It was a plea and a question mashed into one.
Those hazel eyes locked with mine with so much passion that I shivered and my inner walls throbbed.
“Tell me to stop. This might be your only chance to”
I placed my hand around his neck pulling him close then I kissed him. I didn’t want to hear whatever precautions he wanted to give me. I knew it would hurt but I still wanted him.
Cillian deepened the kiss and I found myself on top of the bed with Cillian kissing his way down me, our naked legs entangling.
His lips suckled on one of my breasts before moving to the other making me squirm on the bed sheets trying to ride his thigh that wasn’t at the right height.
As Cillian suckled, one of his hands dipped and worked between my legs. I bit down on my lips, a moan escaping me despite my attempts to hold it in.
Cillian’s hand parted my lips and I could taste my arousal on his hand.
“Don’t be shy. I want to hear all your sounds,” His voice was compelling with arousal. “Moan for me.”
Then his hands lifted my thighs and his head dipped to taste me.
I couldn’t control the sounds that escaped from my lips as he teased my clit, while trying to work his third finger inside me. It was still too tight and I winced.
Cillian was as considerate as he was commanding.
“Relax for me, Rosalind.”
I relaxed and the third finger finally went in.
He didn’t move for a time mainly focusing on sucking on my clit and letting his other hand grasp at me. My breasts, waist, and thighs and then finally he began to move his fingers inside me.
Preparing me for his cock but my body was already riding towards an orgasm that promised to knock my socks off.
When it came, I wasn’t expecting it. The pleasure had grown so intense that I felt suspended by the sensation. My head swam and I flew feeling disassociated from myself. When I crashed, it was hard and I struggled to breathe, my hands fisting the sheets as I shook uncontrollably.
Cillian withdrew his finger from me and settled between my thighs, his fingers entwined with mine and pushing it above my head as he took advantage of my relaxation from the orgasm to push into me.
This position made me hot, my mind flying to Killian and his need to dominate me but Cillian’s hold was gentle and almost too careful.
I pushed Killian out of my head and focused on this moment. I was here with Cillian now and that was all that mattered.
I inhaled deeply as he eased into me, inch after inch. It felt tight but not uncomfortably so.
Then I felt him push up against my hymen and inhaled sharply at the pain after he breached it.
“Rosalind, look at me.”
My eyes snapped open to look at him.
“I want your eyes open when I take you.” His hips thrust as he moved within me and I swallowed a whimper at the pain. “If you knew the things I wanted to do to you…”
Lord, help me I wanted Cillian to do those things to me. With me. If this pain was to be the price then I would pay it. I needed him. Badly.
He moved within me and this time he wasn’t slow or measured. It was like his restraint had finally snapped. Cillian’s face was flush and tense above me as he moved, his cock felt thick and hard inside me as he moved. I was surprised at the pleasure that followed each thrust as the pain subsided.
I began to move my hips in time with his thrusts and we got into a rhythm as we chased out climax together, his hands still holding mine down, his legs keeping mine open as he thrust harder.
The bed made the most vulgar noises from our movements and the wet sounds we were making simply added to the symphony.
I felt the edges of my orgasm coming in and I could feel Cillian’s thrusts become sporadic as he came closer to coming.
His lips came down and met mine as I came so loudly it was a wonder the stars didn’t hear me. The kiss broke off as Cillian followed, his body stiffening as he came inside me.
We stared at each other for that second.
“I love you.” I whispered to him, feeling so close to him at that moment.
Cillian smiled at me softly. “I love you too.”
He kissed me and as I felt him thickening inside me again, I stopped thinking.
Of Killian. The consequences of what we were doing… everything just drifted away.