“I said middle name only,” Thaddeus growls.
“She said, he said, she said; Amara is perfect,” Amara says, and I climb off Thaddeus, who is currently crushed beneath us.
“I’m not calling her Amara; we will come up with a name,” he says.
“Come on, brother, look at her; isn’t she the cutest, like me?” Amara says, holding our daughter closer.
“No. Middle name, and that’s it,” Thaddeus tells her, making me chuckle.
Amara pouts, giving him the evil eye and walking over to hand our daughter to Theo. We all sit up and find Imogen has placed the necklace around her neck for safekeeping.
“You are doing the right thing,” Imogen tells him as she hugs him. He pats his mother awkwardly on the back as I realize he is starting to choke up; she gently rubs his face. “I love you, son. Always have, always will,” she tells him, and he nods, falling silent.
“Coffee?” I ask everyone, knowing Thaddeus wants the spotlight off him. Ryland nods, walking into the kitchen.
Theo and Tobias get up and shake their heads at Amara’s pouting, as they turn to us. “No, we should let you settle in with your daughter. We will come back in a few days,” Theo says, handing our baby to Thaddeus.
I am a little sad to see them go, but I can tell they want to get Amara home and to the safety of their house, and give us time to ourselves. I don’t know what to do when they leave.
“What a day,” Orion says, sitting on the couch next to me. He pulls me on his lap. Thaddeus sits just staring at our daughter on his lap, playing with her little hands.
“Why did you do it?” I ask him, and Thaddeus looks over at me.
“For her,” he says, looking back down at her. She looks tiny in his arms as she squirms. Imogen has put her in a pink onesie and matching beanie. Ryland brings out coffee for everyone, placing it on the coffee table and sitting next to Thaddeus, looking at our daughter in awe.
“She is so tiny. I can’t believe we made that,” Ryland says, looking at Thaddeus.
He pulls me off Orion and onto his lap. I rub his stubble with my hand, and he softly pecks my lips. Thaddeus leans in and kisses me as Orion rushes over to take our daughter from him and walks upstairs to put her down now that she has fallen asleep again.
Thaddeus’ tongue traces my bottom lip as he grips my hips and pulls me on his lap, his hand cupping the side of my face as he deepens the kiss. Orion returns, and I feel his hands remove my shirt, pulling it off me. His hands go to my breasts from behind; they no longer feel cold to me. Thaddeus turns to kiss Ryland. I watch as his tongue slips into his mouth and arousal hits me at the sight of them. Orion grips my chin from behind, forcing me to look at him as he kisses me. Reaching up, my hand slips into his hair, and I feel Thaddeus’ lips go to my nipple. Ryland’s hand moves to the other. Orion releases me as Thaddeus kisses me and pulls back.
“I love you; love all of you,” he says, pressing his face into my neck. “Everything I need is here with you. All I need is our family,” Thaddeus whispers.
O
ne year later
Thaddeus
She got the damn name; my sister managed to sink her claws into Evelyn and Ryland. And honestly, I am sure Ryland would have let her name our daughter whatever outlandish name she could conjure up.
Today is one year since she was born, one year since my sister died and returned to us, one year since I gave up my magic, and one year since our lives truly began. Everything is good and right in the world. Well, as right as it can be anyway.
No more news reports have crossed the nightly news of the Dark Ones, no more fear and hysteria surrounding us. I miss it sometimes, miss my magic, but they always manage to bring me out of the darkest parts of my mind, remind me of why I did it, remind me of what I have gained in return.
I always thought I never needed anyone, never needed anything, that fear was all I sought, when what I truly sought was bigger than that, bigger than myself. No, what I truly craved was a sense of belonging, my place in the world, and that place was with my family all along, with my mates.
Evelyn showed me a life I never knew I wanted before, one I needed. I used to think I was all-powerful and mighty before her, and had control of the world in my sadistic hands. Thought that I was the strongest out there, when in reality, her forgiveness and compassion and everything she endured at my hands was stronger than me. Still, she forgave me and proved she was the stronger one; I always thought forgiveness and mercy were weak, but that is where I was wrong; forgiveness isn’t about being weak. It’s about showing you everything has no control over you, not how someone makes you feel, not what they do; forgiveness can only be given by those who truly know themselves; it is given not because they think they should give it but because that’s how they move on with their lives, showing they truly have control of their life.
Evelyn forgave me for my past sins, and once she did, I forgave myself for my misdeeds and apologized for my wrongs. She gave me the sort of freedom that comes from forgiveness, and being forgiven is liberating. And that is when I realized what truly matters. Looking at my daughter, Amara Emery Madden-Kane, I realized this is what matters: protecting her from the world.
Loving her taught me to love myself.