Somehow, he didn’t look completely ridiculous. “Yes, I will, but why me? You’re attractive. I’m sure you could find someone to date without bribing me.”
“I’ll be real. Like I said, I lost my entire family too. I know what it feels like, and maybe by helping you, I’ll find some peace. Because I still can’t look in the mirror.” His eyes glistened, and he turned toward the living room and sniffled.
Absolution was what he was after. If I hadn’t been leaning toward saying yes by this point, that would’ve changed my mind.
He pretended to scratch his nose when he was wiping under his eye before facing me again. “Our group is pretty steady. Not a lot of new faces, so me having a girlfriend will be more believable with a newbie in town. Especially since I sort of slept with most everyone here already.”
Of course he had. “Wow. It’s a good thing that sex is off the table.” I wanted to make him smile again. “No telling what kind of STDs I could’ve gotten otherwise.”
“Ha. Ha.” He glowered. “We can’t catch STDs.”
“So…you’ve tried?” I bantered back, feeling oddly at ease.
“I believe in trying anything fun.” He winked as he headed back toward the kitchen. “Now, go change again. I need to take a picture of you to send to my buddy for your new ID, and then I’ll start some hamburgers. We need to get you fed.”
AN ALARM BLARED, startling me from sleep. My eyelids were so heavy I almost had to pry them open with my fingers. I’d slept hard, but not well, the entire night.
Dreams had haunted me.
I’d lost count of the number of times I’d killed the guy behind my house. Each time, the pain felt fresh. Being a protector, I’d grown up knowing that the chance of killing someone was always there.
But doing it was different than what I’d expected.
When I wasn’t dreaming of killing, the images of my slaughtered pack were there.
So much blood.
So much hate.
Everyone I loved was gone. Almost like they’d never existed.
And the scariest part was someone was hunting me, and the only clue I had as to why was when Goatee had mentioned breeding with me. The thought of being forced to birth more silver wolves petrified me.
The memory of my dad bleeding out while commanding me to leave ended each cycle. Every time, that was the final blow. The last straw that had me falling apart.
Without them, I didn’t know who I was anymore.
A rogue wolf with no one to turn to. Where my pack links had been was now cold. Completely cold. No-survivors cold. If I didn’t connect again soon, insanity would start creeping in, and from what I’d heard, it might be only weeks before the madness took over. I had to find a pack fast…but that would mean letting someone in on my secret.
That wasn’t possible. At least, not now.
The realization was the final piercing of my already unstable heart.
I didn’t have time for this. Life moved on. The world still turned. And my heart still beat even if it felt like it shouldn’t.
Somehow finding the strength within, I reached over and turned off the alarm. Even though my eyes stayed heavy, I forced myself out of the comfortable bed. I wasn’t ready to face those dreams again.
I made the bed, trying to keep the negative thoughts at bay. Doing a routine task was comforting. I smoothed the bedspread into place before turning to the closet, trying to determine what to wear for an interview at a coffee shop.
Surprisingly, last night wasn’t horrible. Killian had known what to do to help me process things. He hadn’t asked about my family or pack but instead told me stories about his own, including their tragic deaths.
With tear-filled eyes, he recapped the entire nightmare. He was supposed to go with his parents, sister, and a few other shifters to a nearby lake to look into some strange occurrences that had happened there, but it was the same timing as some sort of senior high school party. He’d bailed on them last minute to attend the party instead, and everyone who’d gone had been jumped and killed. As soon as their pack heard through their links that they were in danger, people had rushed to help them.
But they’d been far away enough that no one reached them in time.
There had been no survivors.
Similar to my own story.
He blamed himself. If he’d gone with them, maybe things would’ve been different. Because of that failure, he wasn’t mentally ready to lead the Shadow Ridge pack like his father, Orion. He only attended meetings and made decisions when absolutely necessary, and he trusted his beta, Billy, to take care of the day-to-day pack matters. He kept himself somewhat isolated from the pack because he felt like he’d failed them already.
Part of me wanted to comfort him, but how could I when I felt the same way? If anything, I understood exactly where he was coming from.
When I’d stayed quiet, he’d popped popcorn and turned on a comedy featuring pure relationship angst. No killing, no family triggers, nothing but a girl and a boy finding their way to each other.
Pursing my lips, I flipped through the closet. His sister had drastically different tastes than me. There were several dresses, skirts, and flowy tops instead of the jeans and shirts that I always wore. All the other items were old worn shirts that looked like she’d used them for bumming around the house.
A college coffee shop should be pretty casual, but I didn’t want to wear baggy clothes. Ugh. I was going to have to suck it up and wear something that I didn’t want to. The best option I could find was a ruffled apricot dress. The sleeves were three-quarter length, which fit the spring season, and the hem stopped several inches above my knees. I paired the dress with some black flats that were a smidge too big for my feet.