“Today Donovan spoke to me and…” Cris started as he walked into his room. He had allowed me to stay locked up here since my episode with Travis. I didn’t want to go to school. I couldn’t face anyone.
“Good for you,” I replied, covering myself up to the head with his blankets. Hearing his name makes me feel sick. “I don’t want to hear anything about him, I’ve already told you, he’s a pathetic guy…”
“Yes!” He exclaimed excitedly, trying to hush me. “I already know what you told me, and I don’t know if he wants to hear it right now.”
My body went numb. Did Cris bring Donovan here? No, he wouldn’t…
“Celina…” Donovan’s voice filled the room and, most importantly, my head. He was sharing a small space with me. He was simply close to me.
I felt him slowly approaching me, doubtful, fearful, suspicious… Coward. He’s a coward. That’s it.
Each step he took to get closer to me turned everything more red.
More red.
More red.
Damn it, I was running out of breath.
I was disgusted, he was making me sick, I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to scream.
I felt he was about to sit on the bed to be next to me.
I wouldn’t allow it.
I jumped out of bed, almost throwing the sheets and blankets to the other side of the room. I knew my appearance wasn’t the best, I took a shower the first day I stayed with Cris, so my hair was a total mess, I don’t want to imagine my face, luckily I brushed my teeth with a toothbrush bought by my temporary roommate. But I didn’t need to impress him.
When I saw him, my anger reached its peak. He was an idiot, as always. “You know Cris? I think you’re wrong, Donovan wants to hear everything I have to say.”
Both of them were wide-eyed, they knew I was enraged. “I told you. I’ve told you not to come near me. I’ve told you to leave me damn alone! I can’t stand you, I can’t tolerate you, you’re just a fucking coward who ruins everyone’s life at his whim…” Donovan quickly shook his head and quickly approached me. He was going to kiss me, he was crazy. When he touched my cheek with his hand, I pushed him with all the strength I had and he fell to the floor, I started to laugh, almost hysterically. “Were you going to kiss me? Seriously? I didn’t know your level of sickness exceeded so many limits. You’re just that, a sick person. You’re not worth it.”
Cris stepped forward, quite shocked by the scene. “Celina, you’re going too far.”
“Me? You went too far when you brought him here. Why? I told you I don’t want to see him again! What part of that made you think you had to bring him here?!”
Donovan immediately got up and showed me his hand, signaling me to calm down.
I was not going to calm down a damn thing.
“Celina, listen to me…”
“I’m not going to listen to you. Leave,” I raised my arm to point to the door.
“Cel…”
“No, you leave.”
“Listen to me, damn it!”
I moved violently closer until we were close enough for our bodies to collide. “Get out! I never want to know about you again in my life! You’re a despicable being! Can’t you see? I don’t feel anything but repulsion for you anymore! I don’t love you anymore!”
I felt all the weight of the world fall upon me. It was an obligation, a necessity for him to leave right now.
Donovan tensed up completely, I saw several facial expressions in just ten seconds. The last one was pure resignation. He almost ran out of the room, slamming Cris’s door hard.
He finally left.
“You went too far,” Cris judged.
I turned around and began to gather my things. “You’re not the right person to tell someone they went too far. I’m leaving. I’m angry and part of the anger is directed at you, I don’t want to fight with you.”
I walked past him and he grabbed my wrist. “You really don’t love him anymore?”
“No.”
***
Perhaps it wasn’t one of my best ideas to go out in pajamas and every odd look from people on the street confirmed this fact.
I was desperate to leave, the air in that room was suffocating me, so I barely grabbed my sneakers. I didn’t understand what Cris did to me, it didn’t make sense, I had been telling him for days that I didn’t want anything to do with Donovan, that he was only hurting me, that he was a fucking dealer and he thought it was a good idea to bring him to where I was, with my guard down… It was unbelievable.
I had to leave. And not just from Cris’s house or my aunt’s.
I had to leave the city. I should find a job and live off that, I would look for my mother when I had an apartment. The plan to finish high school didn’t work out as I expected and I hated knowing that a big part of the blame was mine, all I had to do was focus on what was important, but I focused on a guy. From my perspective, I left the goal of reaching my mother for a guy and got into fights, I made dramas everywhere, it wasn’t what I wanted.
I was only meters away from the entrance to my aunt’s house when I heard a constant car horn, it was approaching me. I quickly took my key and opened the gate, I didn’t know whose car it was, I didn’t recognize it and the windows were tinted. I wasn’t going to let them kidnap me.
Once I was inside the house, I waited to see what the person driving the vehicle was up to. It was a gray compact car and it parked on the curb. To my surprise, Vanessa got out with an expression of anger on her face, I hadn’t seen her like this the first time I met her in the bar where Donovan played, in fact, she was very nice to me. How did she know where I lived? And why did it look like she wanted to kill me?
“Did you see Donovan these days?” She asked me directly. She was coming at me as if she was going to hit me, no matter what answer I gave her. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she slapped me right after I answered and said, “Don’t answer me.”
“How do you know where I live?” I inquired, expecting her response before giving mine.
She tensed up even more and came up to the gate. “Did you see Donovan these days? Yes or no. It’s not that hard.”
I moved away. “I saw him an hour ago. He came looking to talk, but I told him to go to hell. He didn’t tell me anything.”
Vanessa thought about my words for a few moments and stomped her foot on the sidewalk. “He promised me that…”
She was murmuring things, but I wasn’t able to hear her completely, I understood an occasional curse.
Her fierce gaze fell on me and she pointed her finger at me. “Stay away from him, do you understand? You stay away from him.”
“I keep my distance, Vanessa. You can tell him to do the same, I don’t want anything to do with his world.”
“You’re ruining everything, kid. Everything. Do you know how hard he has worked? Do you? Just for you to come and…”
She was going to say something else, but she held back and quickly turned around to get in her car and speed away, leaving tire tracks on the sidewalk.
This is turning into a soap opera that I’m not enjoying being in.