I returned to the couch a bit more relaxed, Donovan was in the bathroom and when he came out, I straightened up. He raised his hands in a sign of surrender and said, “Before you start screaming like a madwoman, I kindly asked you to leave.”
“Really? Shouting at me to leave until your voice was in tatters was very kind, sorry, my mistake.”
“That was the only way to get you to leave.”
“Fine, Donovan. You won’t see me here anymore. Rest assured about that,” I took my bag and started walking towards the door. “Can you give me a ride, please?”
He grabbed my wrist, making me stop abruptly. “I didn’t want you to leave, I wanted them not to see you.”
“Who are they?” I whispered for fear that someone other than us would hear.
“I can’t tell you, but if you know what I do for a living, you can connect the dots,” he released while retreating to the kitchen.
“Drug dealers like him?”
I followed him and saw him looking for something behind a piece of furniture.
He has a bottle of vodka in his hand and a sly smile on his face.
I widened my eyes and shook my head many times. “Hell no, Alice is sleeping for God’s sake. Besides, it’s late, I have to leave.”
Four shots of vodka later, I was laughing uncontrollably on the couch for no reason at all. Then I remembered the woman sleeping on the other side of the corridor and covered my mouth while Donovan, who was still completely sober, mocked my behavior. I’m not used to drinking alcohol, he can’t judge me.
“You know, I really disliked you. Very much. But after the bar incident, not so much. I mean, I still dislike you, but sometimes not,” I dragged my words while I cuddled my legs like a child.
“I get it, Alicia, I get it, you dislike me,” he said, sitting next to me with an amused smile.
“I don’t like this,” I said, touching his lower lip. He tensed at the sudden touch and became nervous. “I don’t like that kind of smile. I like the one I saw that night on the stage while you were singing, I liked it, you looked so… unreal,” I let go, and his expression became serious, I didn’t lower my finger from his lip.
It seemed like he was slowly getting closer, alternating his gaze between my eyes and my mouth, or were they the effects of alcohol? No, I definitely had him closer, either due to my movement or his. My heart was erratic. Was I feeling hot? Really hot.
Just a bit before feeling his breath on mine, Donovan stopped moving. He looked me straight in the eyes before withdrawing and sitting on the coffee table in front of me.
“Tell me, Alicia, who do you live with?” he asked out of nowhere, and I didn’t hesitate to answer. I wanted to forget the moment a few seconds ago, but the heat didn’t let me.
“My aunt and uncle.”
“And what are they like?”
“My aunt and uncle? Well, my aunt is a sweetheart and my uncle is an asshole, not like you, but worse.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, because he’s got money, he threatened to make me disappear if I caused him problems. Can you believe it? Me? Causing problems? Pfft, he doesn’t understand.”
“What doesn’t he understand, Alicia?”
“Where I come from, who I am.”
He seemed interested in my answer. He was doubtful but firm. I loved it.
“And who are you?”
“I don’t know, just that I’m more broken than anyone can imagine,” I merely replied when I tried to reach for the vodka bottle for another sip. Donovan took it out of my reach, and I tried to stand up but fell back onto the couch.
“You’ve had enough, Cel,” he said, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. The touch made me shiver.
“You called me Cel! What progress!” I laughed very loudly and he covered my mouth, almost throwing himself on top of me on the couch.
“Shh, calm down.”
“It’s just so impressive.”
“What?”
“My name in your mouth, I like how it sounds. Celina. Cel. See? It doesn’t sound the same in my mouth. Why doesn’t it sound the same, Donovan?” I say before lying down on the arm of the couch.
“I don’t know…” he whispered.
***
“I can’t stand the damn literature teacher, I mean, God! That woman can’t avoid spitting when she speaks, besides, let’s start with the fact that you can barely understand two miserable words in her entire class.”
“I share your sentiment, buddy,” I added, waiting for him to continue. I eyed the bottle of vodka in his hand with longing.
Both of us are already drunk and it’s around three in the morning. Donovan had the vodka bottle in his left hand, while with his right, he kept touching his hair or sometimes gesturing too much to explain a topic that interested or excited him. He’s very expressive with his hands, or at least, he is when he’s drunk.
He talked to me about his favorite songs, complained about the system, the corruption of politicians and led the topics so eloquently that I was captivated. He’s too smart and seemed older while he was speaking, with so much conviction and all kinds of arguments. Debating with him was simply gratifying, I had never done it with anyone. Nobody bothered to do it with me.
I’m even more sober than him, I know because I can realize everything, I’m aware of every single thing he says and I know I will remember all of this night tomorrow. It’s a very different situation from what happened two hours ago, it’s all confusing, he called me by my name and that’s all I know. I give him almost the same attention as when I’m totally sober, I notice the same details that amaze me about him, only now I can do it without him giving me an answer to my prying looks. I know I look at him too much, even though I don’t want to admit it.
I don’t want to admit that he seems like a very interesting person, who hides so many things. Beyond his secrets as a dealer or drug trafficker. I know he hides much more than that, much more than his “job”, parts that no one knows about him or maybe that’s what I want to believe. I can’t guarantee that it will be good, maybe it’s even worse than what he currently shows, his bad boy, jerk, and cruel facade, but I’m dying to find out, I’m dying to find out how he feels about his life, his adolescence. How he went through it, what he suffered, how he felt taking care of his mother alone. I want to know everything. What he did. What happened for him to be this apathetic and empty now.
He attracts me, I like him. I really like Donovan.