Freedom.
That word is what I’ve always been searching for, but I could never find it in the guidebook of… “Celina Brown’s Shitty Life.” Until two weeks ago, I had never experienced that concept. Not once in seventeen years had I even come close to it, so it’s strange and sad that after all this time, I finally feel… free. It’s worth mentioning that it’s strange and sad because right now I’m in a school where 99% of the students believe it’s the least free place in the world.
“So… new, huh?” The soft voice and warm breath that I could feel against the back of my neck startled me.
Great start. First day of school, I just arrived at my locker, and there’s an idiot behind me undoubtedly drooling and probably checking out my ass. I don’t even bother turning around. He must be another wimp who thinks I’ll throw myself into his arms just because I’m new. Forget it, guy. I did that once, there won’t be a second time.
“Don’t even think about it, Travis,” my cousin Jessi warned, looking behind me. She forced a smile and rolled her eyes. Something I’ve learned from her in this short time is that if she’s not the center of attention, she’s not happy. Now that all the attention is focused on me, I’m pretty sure she’s far from happy. I can almost see the vein on her forehead about to explode.
“So, why don’t you introduce me to your friend?” Travis insisted, unabashedly checking me out from head to toe. I’m pretty sure I saw his hand make a move to touch my shoulder, and I’m sure that if I hadn’t taken a step back, he would have done it.
“Don’t pay attention to him, he’s just a simple guy with instant erections whenever he sees fresh meat,” Jessi murmured in my ear, her irritation evident.
I was caught between two people I barely knew, and I didn’t know what I was supposed to say or do. I was nervous, feeling every gaze on me since I arrived. I felt like everyone was dying to know where this girl came from, and that’s what caused the knot in my throat. Nobody could know who I was, nobody could know where I came from, and if they asked, I would lie. Lying was my specialty ever since I arrived here. I lied to my aunt and uncle so well they should have given me an Oscar for Best Actress in Hollywood. They thought my father allowed me to come with them, they never knew what happened to me there, nor the abuse I had to endure, the hunger I suffered. They didn’t know anything. They knew I lived in deplorable conditions, but nothing beyond that.
“What’s your name?” Travis asked, furrowing his brow. He must have noticed my lost gaze.
Before Jessi could answer, I did. I had nothing to lose. The guy would walk away from me quickly, my rude tone and threatening expression left much to be desired by people.
“My name is Celina. Jessi is my cousin,” I replied and adjusted my bag on my shoulder.
I want to leave, I want to leave.
“And Celina should go with her cousin Jessi for some caffeine. Get lost, Travis.” My cousin banged her black hair in Travis’s face as she turned away.
Nice retreat, I must admit.
Leaving my cousin behind, I pushed the entrance door to go out to the courtyard. The air filling my lungs was refreshing and soothing. Free from danger and stress. That’s what I wanted every day since that moment, and if possible, I also wanted to be a hermit who only studied and was as antisocial as possible. That worked for me.
Jessi took my hand and led me to some seats next to some trees. She sat down and pushed me to her side.
“You had to be my relative. You’re catching the attention of every guy and girl in this school. The guy who just talked to you is the captain of the rugby team,” she whispered when nobody was around. God, she’s sometimes so dramatic… or was it me being hysterical? Maybe a bit of both.
“You’re such a buzzkill. I don’t want anyone to pay attention to me,” I focused on the tree behind us, deeply wishing that if it opened its mouth, it would say something interesting or intelligent.
“Come on,” she started whining as she fidgeted with my arm.
I nodded and stood up to see if I could try to escape her overly attentive grip. “Fine. I just need to use the bathroom for…,” I started saying as I stood up. I had barely taken two steps towards the entrance of the school when my face almost collided with the chest of a guy who crossed my path… or maybe I crossed his.
I stared fixedly at his gray T-shirt, surprised that he had managed to step back enough so that we didn’t both fall to the ground or that I didn’t punch him. I straightened up and walked past him, so the impact wouldn’t be gentle. I lifted my head and looked at him, ready to apologize and continue on my way, but the air got stuck in my lungs.
Travis was good-looking. But this guy, he’s gorgeous, like a god… although if he were, he would be Hades.
The guy had no expression in his gaze, no shine, nothing. He simply looked at the ground, and I couldn’t stop searching for his gaze to land on me. He had a black hoodie on his head, sohe couldn’t see his face fully.
His clenched fists and straight line forming his lips made me assume that he wasn’t very happy about something. He wasn’t very happy with me. Slowly, he moved his face to look directly at me.
It was intimidating.
Not just his tired and broken appearance, but the way he made me tremble and agonize with his gaze. I felt scared and trapped in my own body.
He had dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. The shadow of a beard on his jawline, and his eyes… a combination of dark gray and blue. He was pale, with short black hair; a perfect nose that harmonized with his facial features.
Everything about him gave me an uneasy feeling. But I wouldn’t deny that he was very handsome, too handsome to have that aura of a bad boy around him. When I looked at him, every inch of my body told me what he was thinking, “Stay away from me, bitch,” and I didn’t want to. His previously emotionless eyes suddenly seemed to be filled with a million emotions at once. His dilated pupils and the feeling of numbness they conveyed on my skin, but inside me, my heart, my nerves, my senses… were anything but numb. I wanted to run because it seemed like he was about to attack me, to take me as his prey. I thought I stopped breathing five minutes ago when in reality, it was just a few seconds on our part. The guy knew exactly how to look at someone and make them feel intimidated instantly.
I needed someone to pull me away from here before I died of a heart attack. Why wasn’t he moving and still staring at me intensely? Why wasn’t I moving and still staring back at him?!
As if awakening from some kind of trance that, apparently, I couldn’t escape, I blinked twice, and then he narrowed his eyes upon seeing how intensely I was looking at him.
I was carefully examining the tattoo he had on his neck. I could only see some kind of wing, but I knew there was more to that tattoo further down, and I became curious to know what it was.
Also, by the way, I counted his scars. There were four. A small one above his eyebrow. Another on the opposite side of the tattoo. One on his jawline and one on his forehead. They weren’t very noticeable, except for the one on his neck, that one stood out. The question that was swirling in my mind at that moment was, how could he have such a large scar there? It seemed as if someone had wanted to slit his throat.
He grabbed the collar of my coat and broke the connection. Thank God.
“I’m sorry, Den. My cousin Celina is new, and she doesn’t know who you are…” Jessi responded, stumbling over her words.
Why was she apologizing? We simply bumped into each other, I didn’t kill anyone.
I looked back at this Den guy, and he was inspecting me from head to toe again, which made me feel small in front of him. I mean, besides the fact that I’m actually a hobbit compared to his height, his disapproving gaze made me want to crawl under a rock. From my new sandals to my pink skirt, even my white woolen blouse were carefully inspected by this, apparently, jerk. The way he arrogantly breathed made me feel like he thought he was better than everyone, just like Jessi.
I felt embarrassed, I won’t deny it. This clothes were bought for me by my aunt, who says, “I have the money to have the best of the best,” and this clothes were from the top brands and of the highest quality, just like my cousin’s. It seemed like a nice person just by looking at the way I was dressed.
My aunt and uncle lived a lifestyle that wasn’t mine. They had a reputation that couldn’t be tarnished, and if I acted like I did every day before coming to this city, I would be tarnished for life. They would no longer be the perfect family that everyone thought they were. What no one else knew was that within the walls of that grand mansion, my aunt and uncle fought so much that I didn’t know how they didn’t lose their voices already so I could sleep at night.
The respective jerk turned to look at my face again and clicked his tongue against his teeth. He licked his lips-which, by the way, had a piercing-and adjusted his backpack on his shoulder. It all left a bitter and sweet taste in my mouth.
Once again, our eyes connected, and he was at a considerable distance, far enough for me to breathe better. Although, I had the urge to run away from where I was, to stop feeling my skin burning under the scorching and intense gaze he was giving me at that very moment.
He looked at Jessi and narrowed his eyes in her direction.
“Make sure it doesn’t happen again,” he simply said. He had a deep and quite warm voice. Nothing like his appearance at all. He turned around to enter the school, and I was tempted to attack his jugular.
His words touched the core of my patience and ripped it away in one swift motion. I never considered myself a person with character, but people change, right? Now, I won’t let any stupid jerk come and trample on me.
“Excuse me? It wasn’t intentional, believe me,” I huffed, and he, like a beast, turned around and approached me again. He was tense.
“So you say. It doesn’t matter if it was or not. Just make sure it doesn’t happen again. Now, you can go fix your makeup, you smudged that black stuff you girls put on your eyes.”
“Oh no, I’m going to kill him. I’m going to kill him.”
“I didn’t put on makeup,” I muttered, gritting my teeth. I would have thrown my bag at his head in less than two seconds if he said another word.
“Ignore her, she’s new. She’ll understand that she shouldn’t cross paths with you again… right?” I had started responding to my submissive cousin when he nodded his head, giving me one last glance, and quickly walked out of my sight.
Just because he wears black clothes and has a terrifying appearance doesn’t mean he can do whatever he wants to whoever he wants. Not with me.
After taking several breaths, trying not to have a nervous breakdown, I looked at Jessi, who was glaring at me.
“What’s wrong with you? Why did you let that jerk have the last word?” I confronted her.
“You can’t mess with this guy. Don’t talk to him, don’t look at him, try to breathe an entirely different air from his,” she said seriously, clutching her bag.
“What are you talking about? I’m not interested. I would never touch a hair on him,” I replied, knowing that I sounded defensive.
“I hope you do that. I saw how you were looking at him.”
“I was surprised! The guy ran into me.”
“Whatever you say, Celina. Just stay away from him.”
“I won’t…”
“… unless he approaches me.”