The smell of coffee caused my stomach to churn.
Getting up and finding a place to vomit was a necessity at this moment.
Right next to the bed, there was a bucket. I didn’t hesitate to grab it and expel everything that needed to be expelled.
Once I had nothing left to vomit, I left the bucket on the floor and crawled back into bed. I curled up under the sheets, and it took me a few seconds to realize that they were softer than mine.
I quickly opened my eyes. These weren’t my sheets, this wasn’t my bed, this wasn’t my room.
Slowly, I put my feet on the cold floor and realized that I wasn’t wearing the black dress from last night, but a white, sleeveless t-shirt that barely covered my thighs.
God, please tell me I didn’t do something stupid. The last thing I remember from last night is Eva and I dancing, after that it’s all blurred and confusing images.
I moved towards the second door in this room and realized it was the bathroom. I took the opportunity to look at myself in the mirror and got scared by my own reflection. I had all my makeup smudged and drool on my cheek. I sleep like an angel.
I washed my face and then, I rinsed my mouth with water. I found a green liquid that I assumed was for having a minty taste in the mouth… I used it and spat it out instantly. Two words, disgusting.
I smelled my breath and indeed it smelled like mint. The same taste I felt when I kissed Ale… That can’t be possible.
Taking slow and light steps, I headed to what I suppose, is the kitchen.
I peeked my head over the threshold. The only thing I focused on was the bare back of Nick. He was sitting in a chair, his elbows on the table, and every now and then he took a sip of his coffee.
“What…,” I swallowed saliva, my throat suddenly felt dry, “am I doing here?”
The muscles in his back tensed when they heard the sound of my voice. In my head, a thousand scenes were buzzing that could have occurred for me to be in Nick’s apartment, wearing his clothes. None of them were good.
“You wanted me to bring you here, you didn’t want to go to Olivia’s house,” he replied curtly.
“Liar,” I said automatically.
He got up, put his coffee cup on the table, and turned around. His eyes pierced mine.
“Do you remember nothing?” He took a step towards me.
I shook my head.
“Did we…?”
He chuckled under his breath, there was no humor in that laughter.
“Do you now think I take advantage of drunk girls?”
“Well, obviously, you,” I pointed at him and couldn’t help but look at him with accusatory eyes, “took off my dress.”
“Again, you’re wrong, you were the one who did that.”
“Me?” I shrieked, he didn’t show any sign that this situation was uncomfortable or upsetting. His face didn’t show any emotion. “Why would I take off my clothes in front of you and ask to come to your house? It makes no sense!”
“What’s the last thing you remember exactly?”
I tried to put all the scrambled images that appeared in my head in chronological order.
“I remember having alcohol with Eva. I remember we danced and then…”
A bunch of events appeared in my mind. Me half-naked on a poker table, Nick and I arguing in the middle of the yard. And the end of everything-the cherry on top-confessing everything to Nick in his car.
Then, I remember arriving at this apartment, taking off my shoes and dress, trying to kiss him but he refused to touch me, and he put me to bed to sleep.
What the hell did I do last night?!
“And?” I stared at him for a few seconds, I don’t know what I should tell him.
“I don’t remember anything,” I could deny that I told him not to give up on me. I could simply make him forget the matter and continue with his plan to stay away from me.
“You’re a liar.”
“I was drunk.”
“Drunk people always tell the truth.”
We had a staring contest, in which, he won.
“Forget everything I told you last night, continue with your plan to leave me alone,” I looked at him seriously, in a warning manner. “Give up on me.”
I turned around, determined to find my dress and shoes where I remember taking them off last night.
I saw them on the nightstand next to the bed, before I could pick them up, arms wrapped around my waist. A tingling sensation ran through my whole body. My heart started pumping blood hard, making it hard for me to breathe.
“If you remember everything that happened last night, you should also remember that you said don’t give up on you. You said you want me, not him.”
The urge to vomit came back.
Nick made me turn around. He delicately lifted my chin to make me look him in the eyes.
“This isn’t about a damn game anymore. It stopped being a game the day I saw you again. I’m completely crazy, I don’t deserve you but I’m selfish, and I need you.”
I felt like the wall I built to not let Nick back into my heart was collapsing.
“How do you even expect me to trust you, after what you did to me?” My lower lip started trembling. I wanted him to give me the answer to that question that I can’t find.
“I don’t know. But I’ll try to make you trust me again. I’ll change for you, Sam. I’ll try to be the person you need me to be. I can’t promise that I’ll be able to do it, but I can promise that I’ll try.”
He placed his hands on my cheeks and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips.
That was the moment when the wall I put between us completely collapsed.