The hall was just as I asked Ted to make it, memorable. I felt incredible in this tailored groom’s suit, but to my annoyance and nerves, I’m getting all sweaty. My legs occasionally wobble, and I need Anna to walk through that door because I’ll go get her myself and place her by my side.
I need us to be husband and wife.
I know she’s mine, I know I’m hers, I know we belong to each other, but getting married would make us like one person. Finally, we would seal our love in front of everyone.
I played scenarios in my head where she said no, and in each one, I ended up shattered. I’ve been so afraid of losing her since Taylor was born. I did everything possible to prevent that-I went to therapy and prioritized her dreams over mine because, damn it, she deserves the whole world after what I put her through. She forgave me for so many stupid things I did when I was young, when I acted without thinking, all out of impulsiveness. Even when I tried to act to protect her, I messed up, let her take care of our baby alone, and lost years with my son. I couldn’t allow that to happen again; the possibility of losing the loves of my life again was almost unimaginable.
“Hey, Dad?” Jeremy whispered at my side, trying to get my attention. He clearly wasn’t the best man- “That spot was reserved for Liam, and I’ll explain later why he’s here”-but still, Anna and I decided to have him by our side on our wedding day. He was our support for a long time; he couldn’t be anywhere else but here. “Are you nervous?”
“Nope,” I managed to answer while anxiously tapping my foot. Did I ever mention that this kid is very smart? Seriously, very smart.
“Tell that to your sweat. You’re starting to stink, and stop moving your leg; you’re irritating me,” he spat out while smiling to himself, proud that I couldn’t retort because we were surrounded by a lot of people.
Maybe I forgot to mention that Jeremy and I have been in a war since he learned to be a damn cynic. Anna says it’s pre-adolescence and told me not to respond-like hell! I’m not going to let a kid beat me at my own battlefield; after all, I taught him everything he knows.
I know he’s irritated because last night I didn’t let him have more chocolate ice cream… It was my ice cream.
“Enjoy it while you can; when we get back home, you’ll see,” I said, half amused, half threatening.
“What will you do? Tie me up again until I beg and give in because you can’t resist this face?” he pointed to his face, pouting and lowering his eyebrows to make a cute expression. Well, the kid got me. “Besides, you’ll be gone today, and the ice cream will be all mine.”
“I’ll tell Alison not to give it to you either.”
“Alison can’t resist my face either,” he smiled with an air of self-satisfaction.
Perfect, I love that we play around, but he knows he can’t cross the line of treating us all like idiots. “Jeremy, you’re going too far.”
He rolled his eyes. “Fine, sorry, but you should’ve given me more ice cream last night. Also, are you still feeling nervous?”
Okay, he did it on purpose; I get it now. “No.”
“You’re welcome,” he punched my arm. “Love you, Dad. Mom does too, stop being like this.”
“Am I missing something?” Liam leaned his head between us, joining the conversation.
“You too, stop acting like an idiot with Aunt Alison because even she realizes that Ted wants to give it to her.”
“Kid, what does ‘give it’ mean?” I looked at him horrified.
“She wants it too?” a very upset Liam exclaimed.
Well, I’ll have to explain.
Liam came back into our lives a couple of months ago, seeking help for his addictions, which we’re still providing, but he’s much better now-no consumption for over a month. But in the process, there were situations with Alison… Well, they hooked up. As far as we know, it was only once, but it was enough for both of them to be crazy about each other. Anna and I don’t know what the hell they’re waiting for to be together.
Alison is stubborn, and Liam doesn’t believe he deserves her.
Maybe later, we’ll find out how this will end.
In another wedding perhaps?
Just before Jeremy could respond, the doors opened.
My heart stopped for a few seconds. Suddenly, she was nineteen again, her black mane making me travel back in time for brief moments.
There she was, walking towards me in a pink dress-or as she corrected me a thousand times, pastel pink. The lace started from the shoulders, descended over her chest, and ended on her stomach in an inverted triangle. I loved how the dress embraced every curve, allowing me to adore even more the woman I hoped to spend the rest of my life with… Besides, I couldn’t wait for the night to rip it off and see her entire body without any barriers. Anyway, I knew I didn’t need those curves to desire to be with her in every possible way. I just needed to hear her speak to crave her, to fall in love again, to care for her, and treasure her as I had been doing so well since Taylor was born. As she always deserved. As we both deserved to love each other.
There she was, walking towards me, bold, confident, without a hint of hesitation to move on to the next step-marriage. We messed things up a bit at the beginning, mainly me, we knew that. Nevertheless, there she damn well was, about to mutually surrender to each other, regardless of our past mistakes.
She was here, in front of me, with a smile that reached her eyes, and her face completely flushed for being the center of attention, and damn, she was beautiful. How could she not be? My legs were trembling, and the desire to kneel before such perfection was gaining strength within me. I loved her, every part of my being knew that this was my place for the rest of my life.
She took my hand and kissed my cheek, probably to snap me out of the trance.
Anna.
I kissed his cheek, and he stopped crying. He smiled at me, and I returned the gesture. I was moved to see tears rolling down his cheeks once I was in front of him. He was completely serious when I entered the room; he looked at me, but I thought he was reconsidering all of this. For a brief moment, I thought he might run away and leave me alone, like in Julia Roberts’ movie, “Runaway Bride.” But in this version, the runaway would be a man, and he would be given an adjective… Deceased.
The man who was two steps away from me is one of the three beauties I loved to look at all day. The other two don’t need to be named; they are obvious. Since his first appearance in my life when we were young, I knew he would be a before and after in my life. In a strange way, the overwhelming feeling in my body that he would change my world was impossible to ignore. I loved him. I always did. I knew it was stupid to do so, and it hurt. I can’t say that everything was worth it because I got here; no way. Many things could have been avoided, but never falling in love over and over, with many apologies from both sides and many open wounds that had to heal with a lot of love and care, but without forgetting or going back. We couldn’t do that anymore; we had two beautiful children who would remind us of it for the rest of our days.
This man, in front of me, squeezing my hands with a determination and firmness that assured me I would never feel alone again, made me wish not to change any aspect of my life ever. That he would love and care for me as I would for him. That’s what he told me while the priest said what we both had to swear in front of our family and ourselves.
As we exchanged rings, both of us were in tears. Henry didn’t even wait for the priest to finish speaking; he took me by the waist and pressed his lips against mine. His tongue entered my mouth gently, exploring every inch, and I followed his lead. When he started gripping my hips, things got risky, and, sensing my thoughts, he lifted me like a bride in his arms, heading to the room next to the hall.
Everyone, colleagues, and family, began to release sighs or screams of shock, Jeremy included. We had vowed never to be lascivious in front of our children, but, well…
We entered the room, apparently belonging to the cleaning staff, slamming the door shut. I was still horrified by what had just happened; I hadn’t even had time to process it. “What are you doing? How will we explain this to Jeremy…?” I began, but before I could finish, he squeezed my backside over my clothes. It didn’t take him long to respond.
Then, he grabbed my neck, applying just enough pressure to make everything heat up, yet allowing me to breathe. “You’re all I want. I need you now,” he growled against my lips after biting my lower lip with a force that made me melt into him.
God, we haven’t changed a bit in years. “I love you, Henry, to infinity and beyond…”