Anna.
I’m worried, and Henry is frantic. I’ve been in bed all day, vomiting, and I have a fever. I’m on my period, and technically, I feel like I’m dying right now. Jeremy is at kindergarten, and he didn’t want to leave, but honestly, I need some quiet right now.
Henry is by my side, stroking my hair. He’s been keeping me company all day and even made me soup. He tried to get me to eat it, but I couldn’t take a single bite.
I’m completely sweaty from the fever and a mess because of my period. Staining Henry’s sheets was utterly embarrassing, and the amount of blood was even worse. I’ve never bled so much in my life.
“Anna, why don’t we go to the doctor? Please, I’m really worried. I beg you…”
I shook my head. I hate hospitals.
“Come on, Ann. I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“No.”
“Anna, we really need to go. Your fever isn’t going down, I don’t understand what you’re vomiting since you haven’t eaten anything, and, well, your period is a separate issue. But you’re not okay, and the antibiotics I bought for you aren’t working, Anna. Please, let’s go to the hospital.”
“No, I’ll get better, Henry. Just…” – Damn – “Mm. My stomach. Henry, it hurts so much!”
“What…? What do I do?”
Tears were streaming down my cheek. It felt like I was being cut from the inside. I writhed, started screaming. Henry immediately grabbed his keys, a blanket, covered me, and then lifted me in his arms. I had my eyes closed, and I screamed through clenched teeth, trying not to, as I’d worry Henry, but the pain was so intense, so piercing that I couldn’t bear it. I had never felt anything of this magnitude, and I felt like I was going to die.
“Henry, make it stop, please,” I said barely in a whisper. He took me outside, closed the door of the house, and opened the car. He put me in the back, and he looked pale and shaky. I wanted to tell him to calm down, but all I could do was moan in pain, and my tears didn’t stop. When the pain seemed to subside, it returned with full force, making me scream like a madwoman. I was caught between screams and tears. I saw a couple of neighbors peeking out, but no one approached.
Henry began to drive, and with my eyes half-closed, I saw him run his hand through his hair, shaking severely. He then hit the steering wheel several times, cursing.
“I’m sorry, Ann. We should have come earlier. How stupid I was, what an idiot!”
“Enough…” I managed to groan to make him stop since I knew it was my fault. The crying returned, and the pain was getting worse.
“You’ll be okay, understand, sweetheart? Nothing will happen to you… I just… Damn.” I saw a couple of tears run down Henry’s cheek, and another scream came out of me. He doesn’t stop, doesn’t cease. I need him to stop. I’m being torn apart from the inside.
“We’re almost there, love. Hold on, please.” He reached out his hand, and I took it without hesitation. I squeezed it tightly, trying to find something to hold onto. I need something to hold onto. “I’m here, beautiful. I won’t go anywhere. Just hold on for me, okay?”
I nodded. I know he didn’t see me because he was going too fast and didn’t stop looking ahead. Every word came congested from his mouth, as if he wanted to cry but tried to be strong for me. God, I don’t want him to feel bad, but I can’t stop.
Five minutes later, we arrived at the hospital. Henry parked on the curb and immediately got out of the car to carry me. He didn’t even close the door when he ran to the entrance of the building, carrying me in his arms.
“Hey! A doctor! My girlfriend needs help!” I took a few seconds to stare at Henry. His red and tormented eyes kept searching for someone to help him, and I could feel the escalating fury intensifying on his face. “Hurry up!”
He looked at me and kissed my forehead very strongly when he left me on the stretcher that a couple of nurses brought… At that moment, everything turned black, and I didn’t feel anything anymore. I felt nothing.
***
When I woke up, a white light blinded me completely. I sat up instantly in the bed where I was and let out a groan immediately from the pain in my abdomen; it still hurt when I moved. I looked around for Henry, but I didn’t see him. I would have liked to see him when I woke up and have him tell me what was happening.
I was in a patient gown that was open, and Jeremy was by my side asleep. How long had I been unconscious?
The door to my room was open, and Henry was coming towards me in a fury. A doctor stopped him, and he did, but he raised his fist to threaten him with a punch; however, the doctor kept talking.
Henry dropped his arm, kicked the seats for the families of patients, and ran his hands through his hair. He was nervous, and I worried. What do I have? To make things worse, my fiance started to cry and threw himself on the floor. I don’t know if he is aware that I’m watching him or not, but he is tearing my soul apart.
“Henry!” I yelled for him to hear me. He did, and upon seeing me, he wiped his face and ran towards me with the doctor. Jeremy didn’t even wake up.
“What’s happening? What’s going on?” I asked with a lump in my throat.
“Ann, I…” he begins to say but breaks into tears again. I’m scared, damn it.
“Miss Williams, did you know about your condition?” the doctor asked, getting closer to me.
“Did you know, Anna?” I could feel Henry’s anger rising towards me.
“Know what?!” I started to say exasperated. I don’t understand anything that’s happening. What do I have? A tumor?
“Did you know you were pregnant?” the doctor says as tears in my eyes began to well up from the fear of losing my child.
Everything stopped. Am I…? No, it can’t be. I had no symptoms. No vomiting, no cravings, no discomfort… With Jeremy, I had all of that and more. I can’t understand how I didn’t notice, and how I allowed this to happen. It was obvious we were trying, not using condoms; we’re just immature hot-heads.
“What about me?” I said with the little breath I had left. I looked at Henry, hoping for a response that this is really real, but he just looked at me with contained fury. I noticed, he doesn’t want me around, and I don’t know why.
“Are you deaf?” he growls, taking a few steps closer to me, his face completely occupied by signs of his anger directed at me.
“Hey, calm down a bit with me, Henry. I didn’t know anything,” I raised my voice a bit more, and the tightness in my chest increased. The air isn’t entering my lungs very well, and right now, I just want to curl up in bed and sleep.
“No symptoms at all?!”
“No, there weren’t any, and don’t shout at me. Either you calm down or you leave,” I limited myself to say, pointing to the door. Throughout all this, I don’t know if Jeremy was pretending to be asleep or if he was really too tired to hear all the yelling Henry was doing.
“The cramps, pain, and bleeding were for that reason, and the fever made the problem even worse. You were having a spontaneous abortion. There’s no apparent reason, but stress can have a lot to do with it. Or maybe a fall. People say there’s no reason for these to happen, but personally, I don’t believe it.”
Was I pregnant? God, how could I not know…? Tears began to stream down my eyes non-stop. I’ve lost him. How could I be so stupid and not take the necessary precautions?
“I lost him,” I said slowly in a whisper.
“What? No, she hasn’t lost it, but she almost did,” the doctor says quickly. “It seems like a miracle since the fever increased the risk by a hundred percent. Plus the heavy bleeding and intense pains… It’s a miracle that the baby is still there.”
The first thing I did was shoot daggers at my boyfriend. How did he make me worry like this?
“What the hell is wrong with you, huh? Worrying me like that.”
“You almost killed him!”
“Sorry, what?” I’m stunned. This guy is crazy.
“You heard me.”
“I didn’t know it existed! And I can’t kill someone I didn’t know was there! Besides, how could I kill him? Henry, you leave me frozen, what’s happening to you?”
Henry seemed to have a moment of clarity and lowered his guard, but he was still angry with me. What kind of mind blames me for what almost happened to the baby? It’s not my fault not to have symptoms and not know.
“Excuse me, she has nothing to do with what happened, so leave the room, calm down, and come back to talk to your wife,” the doctor points to the door, and when I thought Henry was going to react violently, he just turns around and walks quickly towards the room’s exit.
“You leave me again! Fine, Henry, go to hell.”
He stopped for a brief moment and simply said to me, “I need to think and get some air, Anna.”
He leaves again, leaving me alone when I need him the most. Are there things that never change, or yes?
I let him go without opposing again. He knows how these things affect us, affect me.
“She’s almost a month pregnant,” the doctor continues. “You need to be in complete rest for at least a month. Take lots of vitamins and don’t stress. And no sex until we do all the checks and make sure everything is okay, but I wouldn’t have sex with that idiot if I were you.”
“He’s not like that; I don’t know what got into him.”
“Well, I don’t know if it’s normal, but anyway, right now, he should be the one providing moral support, not you for him.”
“He’ll get over it…”
“Miss, with all due respect, I advise you not to pay attention to what your boyfriend says right now. Don’t argue or anything like that. It will only affect the baby’s health and yours.”
She’s right; now I just have to focus on my baby and Jeremy. Henry should try to do the same and not be such an idiot, as he was just now. I look at Jeremy, who is still asleep, and reach out to stroke his head. Then, I touch my stomach, thinking about another child to cherish and love more than my own life.