CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
DILEMMA: CAN I? SHOULD I?
ELIZABETH’S POV
The cab ride back to Desmond’s place felt like an eternity, even though it was only a few miles from where I’d spent the night. The city lights flickered by, blurring into a hazy mix of neon and streetlamps as I stared blankly out the window, my mind reeling with the events of the past twenty-four hours. I’d crossed a line with Liam, my sister’s ex-husband, and now… now I was engaged to him.
The thought should have thrilled me, ignited a spark of excitement deep within, but all I felt was a cold knot of anxiety tightening in my chest. I’d agreed to marry Liam. His proposal had been sudden, intense, filled with a desperate need that had overwhelmed me. I could still feel the weight of his words, the way he’d looked at me like I was his last chance at something… something more. But was it really what I wanted?
The cab slowed as we approached Desmond’s neighborhood, and my heart pounded in my ears. I’d already made the decision. I was going to end things with Desmond. I had to. It wasn’t fair to keep stringing him along when my heart was tangled up in this mess with Liam. But as the cab turned onto Desmond’s street, I felt a pang of doubt. Could I really do it? Could I really walk away from the man who had loved me, cherished me, and made me feel safe for so long?
The cab pulled up in front of Desmond’s house, and I paid the driver, stepping out into the cool evening air. His house was lit up, warm and inviting, just like he always was. I took a deep breath, steeling myself. This was it. I had to be strong.
As I walked up the front steps, the door swung open before I could even knock. Desmond stood there, his face lighting up with that familiar, heart-melting smile. “Elizabeth,” he breathed, stepping forward to wrap me in a tight embrace. The warmth of his arms around me, the scent of his cologne-everything about him was comforting, familiar. I hadn’t realized how much I missed it until that moment.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” he said, pulling back just enough to look at me. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“A surprise?” I forced a smile, my resolve wavering already. “What is it?”
He grinned, taking my hand and leading me inside. The living room was dimly lit, candles flickering on every surface, casting a soft, romantic glow. On the table, a beautiful dinner was laid out-steak, roasted vegetables, a bottle of red wine breathing beside two perfectly set plates. My heart skipped a beat. Desmond had always known how to make me feel special, how to show me that I was his everything.
“I wanted to do something special for you,” he said, his voice tender as he pulled out a chair for me. “You’ve been so busy lately, I thought you deserved a little pampering.”
I swallowed hard, the guilt gnawing at me. He was always thinking of me, always putting me first. How could I tell him that I didn’t deserve this, that I was planning to break his heart?
As we sat down to dinner, Desmond poured the wine and handed me a glass. “To us,” he said, raising his own glass with a warm smile. “To everything we’ve been through together.”
“To us,” I echoed weakly, clinking my glass against his. The wine was rich, velvety, but it tasted bitter on my tongue.
He started talking, filling the silence with stories about his day, his plans for the weekend, little things that we used to share so easily. But as he spoke, I found myself struggling to focus. My mind kept drifting back to Liam-to the way his hands had felt on me, the way his voice had sounded when he asked me to marry him. It was like a fever dream, a rush of adrenaline that left me breathless and disoriented. But was that what I wanted my life to be? A series of intense, fleeting moments, or something solid and real?
Desmond reached across the table, taking my hand in his. “I know we’ve been busy, and I know things haven’t been easy lately. But I want you to know, Elizabeth, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. We can get through anything together” I could see the sincerity in his eyes, the love and devotion that he had always shown me. And suddenly, I wasn’t so sure about anything anymore.
After dinner, Desmond led me into the living room where he had a surprise waiting-a beautifully wrapped gift. “Open it,” he urged, his excitement palpable.
I carefully peeled back the wrapping paper, revealing a leather-bound scrapbook. My heart clenched as I opened it to the first page. There, in Desmond’s meticulous handwriting, was the story of us-how we met, our first date, our trips, the small, everyday moments that had defined our relationship. Each page was filled with pictures, ticket stubs, notes he had kept over the years.
“I’ve been working on it for a while,” Desmond admitted, rubbing the back of his neck in that endearing way he did when he was nervous. “I wanted you to see how much you mean to me. How much we’ve shared.”
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I turned the pages. Each one was a testament to his love, to everything we had built together. It was overwhelming, and I felt the walls of my resolve crumbling. How could I walk away from this? From him?
But then, the image of Liam flashed in my mind-his piercing eyes, the way he had held me like he would never let go. He was danger, excitement, the unknown. He was everything Desmond wasn’t, and that terrified me as much as it thrilled me.
Desmond moved closer, pulling me into his arms as we sat on the couch. He kissed the top of my head, his fingers gently brushing through my hair. “I love you, Elizabeth,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
I closed my eyes, leaning into him, my heart torn in two. I could feel the weight of his words, the future he saw for us-a future that was safe, secure, and full of love. But was that what I wanted? Could I really give up the excitement, the passion that Liam offered?
As we sat there, the room quiet except for the soft music playing in the background, I knew I had to make a choice. But for the first time since I’d gotten into the cab, I wasn’t sure which choice was the right one.
“I need to tell you something,” I began, my voice barely above a whisper. But before I could say anything more, Desmond pulled back slightly, looking into my eyes.
“What is it, love?” he asked, concern knitting his brow.
I hesitated, the words catching in my throat. How could I tell him? How could I break his heart after everything he had done for me, after everything he had shown me tonight?
“I… I just wanted to say thank you,” I said finally, forcing a smile. “For all of this. For everything.”
Desmond’s expression softened, and he pulled me close again, kissing me tenderly. “You don’t have to thank me, Elizabeth. I’m just glad you’re here with me.”
But even as he held me, the knot in my stomach tightened. I knew I couldn’t keep this up. I had to make a decision. I had to choose between the man who had been my rock for so long and the man who had set my world on fire.
And I had no idea which path to take.