Did you say yes ? Kenzo asked.
I smiled softly as I held my hand up so they could see my ring, both their eyes grew with excitement. They both started jumping up and down with pure happiness, Livia didn’t think twice before attacking me in a hug. I fell back against the bed while hugging her small body, Kenzo didn’t waste anytime either as he attacked his dad with a hug.
You’re not our nanny anymore. Livia says. You’re daddy’s wife now. She shouts with so much thrill.
That’s right, sweetie. I kissed her forehead.
Lucky man. Kenzo smirked at his dad who shot him back a even bigger smirk, I rolled my eyes playfully.
Faust picked Kenzo up and gently placed him on top of me before jumping gently on top of all of us, we all laughed. Then we all started to fight with pillows, we jumped up and down on the bed while tossing pillows at each other. It was such a beautiful moment that for a second I forgot all about my pain, the pain of losing my father the night before.
We hung out for a bit longer till it was time for the kids to go spend a couple days with their mom which basically meant they stayed with a sitter the entire time, Faust seems to always have to give them a pep talk before or they won’t want to leave.
You should go see your mom. He said while grabbing the kids sleeping bags, he packed them inside his car as I watch from the door. Tell her about us, talk to her about last night.
I nod my head, there was so many thoughts going through my head right now, marriage, death, apologies, Mia and my mom.
I love you. He kisses my forehead softly.
I love you too. I whispered.
Him and the kids got in the car and drove off, I waved goodbye at Livia and Kenzo.
I know what I needed to do but I was afraid, afraid of seeing my mom. I got dress and tried my best to mentally prepare for the day ahead, driving has always been a peaceful task for me but right now it felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I parked in front of my childhood home, the home in which my dad raised me in. I glanced down at my sparkly ring, it gave me a sense of comfort. I knocked on the front door with so much hesitation, it took a couple seconds before someone opened the door. My mom stood there dressed in a flowy summer dress with her suitcases lined up behind her.
What’s going on ? I asked.
Just come in, cricket. My mom says.
She opens the door wider leaving a spot for me to squeeze through, I walked inside not tearing my eyes off of her suitcases.
I don’t have parent instincts or even motherly instincts, you know that. She says, I was even more confused on why she was telling me this. Your dad took care of you your entire life, he did my job and he did it good.
A sad smile appeared against my lips, she was finally admitting to everything and that felt good.
I love you, I do. You’re my rainbow baby. She wipes her tears away with a heavy heart, this was news to me. I had no idea she had a miscarriage before me, was that why she was always so distant my entire life ? To scared to lose me so she’d rather push me away.
Your father and I had a lot of issues with infertility, he didn’t want to give up so we didn’t and I’m glad we didn’t because you wouldn’t be standing here now. She said, it was always hard for me to tell how my mom felt about almost anything but right now all I see is how grateful she was to be a mom, my mom. Your father was an amazing man, you and I were his entire world, I didn’t deserve him not even a little bit. She finishes.
I hugged her, her arms softly wrapped around my small body. She held my head with such a gentleness, she needed this hug and I just realized that I needed it too.
When I was little I use to hate you but daddy wouldn’t have it, he’d always remain me of how great you were. I whispered inside her ear, a sad sob escaped past her lips. She held on to me like the world depended on it, I just needed her to know how much my dad actually loved her. He risked me hating him just so I wouldn’t hate you.
That sounds like him. She says, quietly.
When we pulled away my eyes fell on her suitcases, she followed what I was staring at.
Andrew bought us a home in Australia, I wasn’t going to go at first because I didn’t want to leave you but you’re an adult now, I need this. She said.
I didn’t want to let her go but I know that she deserves to live her life, that after all of this, her and Andrew deserve to be able to love each other the right way, the way her and my dad couldn’t.
You can always come visit me anytime you want, or if you want, move with us. She grabs my hands, she softly rubbed circles in the palm of my hands.
I shook my head softly before holding my hand up to show her my ring, her eyes grew wide as a smile took over her lips.
Faust purposed to me this morning and I said yes. I whispered.
That’s great, cricket. I know how much you love him, I just want you to be happy. She says.
I already am. I replied.
She nods her head being very content with my short response, she grabs my shoulder forcing me to look at her.
Make sure I get the invitation because I want to see my baby get married.
I nod my head, tears filled my eyes knowing that she’s moving forever and I’ll only see her maybe once a year. Andrew appeared near the stairs holding a few items in his hand, he gently placed them on the table beside him and pulled me in for a hug.
Take care of her, please. I told him.
No need to worry, sweetie. He chuckles.
I helped them pack everything inside the car, we all talked a little bit more till it was time for them to go. I stood on the sidewalk and watched their car drive off into the distance, my mom waved back at me. I wiped my tears away, once the car was gone I turned around to face my house.
Thank you, daddy. I whispered while looking up at the sky, it felt like he was almost watching me.
I slowly walked back over to my car, I got in and drove off. My heart didn’t feel as heavy as it did driving over there, it felt like I got some sort of peace from the visit.