Do you feel anything for her ? I asked.
Nicolas shakes his head no.
Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel nothing for that women. I demanded.
Nicolas tried looking me in the eye but he couldn’t do it. He just showed me what I knew all along, I wasn’t his yellow, Deborah was.
So much for being your yellow. I frowned at my own words, I’ve never sounded so weak in my entire life.
I was just a charity case to you. I mumbled while opening my door.
I didn’t look back at him, once I was finally in the clear I broke down in tears. My hands were shaking so bad against the wheel. I was gasping for air as I turned the corner, I drove all the way to sims. I got to sims pretty quickly, I even got to the bar faster. I sat at the stools in front of the loaded bar, my addiction was alive and well right now.
What can I get you doll face ? The bartender asks.
I needed to forget everything, I needed alcohol.
I wiped my tears with a fake smile on my lips, I leaned over to whisper into his ear. Get me four bottles of the most expensive whiskey you have.
He did his job, he grabbed me four full bottles. I lifted the bottle to my lips, everything that has happened was for a reason. I shot my head back while chugging down the whiskey, I was use to the burning sensation.
I gulped down the whole bottle, my body filled with warmth and I was finally numb to the pain. I was too busy chugging down the other bottles that I didn’t notice someone sat next to me.
Alcohol doesn’t solve your problems, A.
My head sloppily turned to look at this person, Victoria was facing me with her legs crossed.
Where’s your hideous boyfriend ? Shouldn’t you be somewhere up his ass. I slurred.
Faust Santos called me for a favor, he told me that my best friend was in trouble, so here I am. Victoria says.
Faust fucking Santos. Well he lied because I’m perfectly fine. I leaned my head back chugging down more of the whiskey.
Victoria grabbed the bottle from me and placed them behind her.
Grab your shit and let’s go. Victoria says, irritated.
Oh go suck your boyfriends little dick.
All of suddenly now you want to be friends again, fuck off. I laughed.
My words hit her hard, she took a couple seconds before speaking again.
I love you, A and I know after you found out about your parents it changed you but that doesn’t mean I stopped loving you.
You’re my sister, my twin flame. I didn’t choose Jakob, I chose happiness. Victoria whispers.
My drunk mind some how felt sympathy, was my depression making her depressed. Could she not have handled me ? I was the reason why she walked away.
I’m so so sorry, V. I cried. Everything I touch breaks apart, everyone always leaves me. My dad, my mom, you, Faust, and now Nicolas.
Victoria brought me to her chest hugging me tightly. She helped me grab my purse and my wallet, we left my car there and she drove me home in her car. I leaned my head against the window, I watched as we passed by houses, the lights simmer down.
Soft music was playing on the radio but I wasn’t listening to it, my thoughts were loud and clear.
We arrived at my house, my mom was already outside waiting for me. Victoria helped me up the stairs to my front door where my mom grabbed me.
Thank you, sweetie. My mom tells Victoria.
She nods before getting back inside her car. My mom hugs me as we walked inside my cozy house.
Cricket, I’m very worried about you. My mom mumbles.
Me too. I whispered.
My mom laid me down on my bed, she tucked me in with my blanket. She turned off the light on my nightstand and was about to walk away when I grabbed her wrist.
Stay with me. I begged.
Of course, baby. My mom was secretly hoping I’d ask her, she took off her slippers and slid in bed with me.
I turned around to face her, she ran her hand across the side of my head. Her warm touch felt good against my cold cheek.
My mom decided that I needed to go back to therapy, she claims that if I don’t get help then I won’t get better. It’s been three weeks and I haven’t heard from Nicolas nor Faust, a part of me was happy but the other bigger part of me was sad.
Did I mention that Nicolas birthday was yesterday and I had already gotten him a stupid gift ?
How would you say your parents relationship affects your personal relationships ? My therapist, Rachel asked.
Rachel was a natural blonde, she had blue eyes, pale skin and the perfect life. With her lawyer husband and twin daughters who have both graduated from Harvard and are now studying to become doctors, their perfect.
I would say that my mother has taught me that independence is key to life. I responded.
I know what she wanted to hear, she wanted me to spill all my feelings like it was easy for me.
Independence ? As in alone ? She asked.
I chewed harder on the small piece of gum I had in my mouth.
When your alone you never get hurt.
But is your mother really alone ? I mean she has your father. Rachel writes down something in her notepad.
Does she really have my father ? I mean who knows. I said.
Rachel wanted to roll her eyes, I was just mocking her questions with more questions.
Tell me about the alcohol.
My problem with alcohol started after I was sexually assaulted, when someone is on top of you taking your youth it changes you. I would say it made me change dramatically.
Did something happen to make you pick up the bottle ? Rachel asks while writing something else down in her notepad.
You know what, I forgot I have lunch with a friend. I stood up and grabbed my purse off the couch.
Adora, you have lunch with a friend everytime we get to the alcohol part. My therapist stands up with me, she was looking at me with those puppy, sad eyes.
I don’t want people to look at me like that, like they feel sympathy for me.
Because I eat everyday. I snapped back.