“People could’ve died. People… could still die,” I stutter.
“He’s not going to die, honey. His body just needs to recover. He’ll come to soon. I’m sure of it. He’s strong and fit,” my friends reassures me.
“And this is the second time he’ll have almost died in a fire.”
Xavier looks down at his shoes, contemplating my words. He sighs and stays calm.
But the revelation slashes through me like a knife dipped in acid, and I suddenly feel an overwhelming sense of anger. I push myself up onto my feet, pacing back and forth across the hallway in front of Kaine’s ER bay. My fists slowly curl into tight, tight balls, my knuckles white when I lift my hand to jab in Xavier’s direction.
“Well, he is NOT going to die on my watch. So, you, you go find whoever did this… and we’re going to make them pay.”
Xavier’s eyes narrow and harden. He glances over at his boss and friend, and bites his lip.
“I’m serious, Xavier. They will not get away with this. I will make them pay for what they did to the library, to the company, to everyone who was hurt today, and to Kaine. And I am going to make it hurt.” My voice starts loud and firm, but by the end, I’m so filled with emotion, the words come out in a stammer, in waves.
Harriet hugs me from behind and wipes a hand under my eyes, catching the tears.
“Shhhh. We will. Don’t you worry, we will.”
“Jade?”
We all turn at the sound of Kaine’s voice, and I run up to the top of the bed, touching his forearm, careful to avoid his hands wrapped in bandages.
“Kaine, I’m here. I’m here,” struggling to keep my voice low.
“Are you… are you okay?” he asks, his lips barely moving under the oxygen masks.
My knees almost buckle with relief, at the sound of his voice. “Yes, God, Kaine, yes, I’m fine.”
“Good. I love you.”
“I love you too, I love you so much,” I say over my happy tears.
“Did I hear Xavier’s voice?”
“Yeah, man, I’m here,” Xavier replies.
“Okay. Xavier. I need you to do something for me”
“Whatever you need.”
“I need you to take Jade to my apartment to collect her things. And then I want you to take her home, her home. And I want you to make sure that she never, ever comes near me again.”
Xavier’s head snaps over to look at me as my mouth falls open.
“What? What are you saying? Kaine?” I ask him, reaching out to touch his face.
“You heard me. Go away. And I never, ever want to see you, Jade. Ever again.” I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
“Kaine!” I beg him.
“Xavier,” he says to his friend who doesn’t know what to do. “I’m going to tell you one last time, Jade Sinclair. I don’t want you in my life. I never did. So just go.”
“I’m not going! No, I’m not going!” Something must’ve happened to him in the fire, it’s the only explanation.
“Honey. You should. Just, let’s let him rest and we’ll come back later, okay? Come on,” Harriet says, patting me on the back.
“NO! You can’t make me go! KAINE!” I yell, not caring who can hear me. Just that he tells me this is all a mistake.
I see Xavier give Harriet a look, and she grabs one of my arms as he takes the other, and they drag me from the ward.
I struggle, but together they’re too strong and I’m still weak from the fire.
“NO!!!!! KAINE! Don’t do this! Why are you making me go! KAINE!” I scream, ignoring the people coming out to watch my scene in the hallway.
Xavier wraps his arms around me as I thrash and scream. Harriet hails down a passing cab and throws open the door when it stops in front of us. Xavier pushes me into the cab, and Harriet slides in next to me.
“Nooo, God no. Xavier, don’t make me go,” I beg as he watches me through the taxi window. He gives me a look I can’t decipher, and he leans over and gives the cab driver some instructions.
I’m spent by then, but the sobs still come in hard and fast, and I let Harriet pull me into her arms and hold me.
And wonder why it has come to be, after everything, that Kaine Ashley died for me today.
HIM
My eyes are still squeezed shut when I hear Xavier’s footsteps come back and stop by the side of my bed.
“Want to tell me why we just had to put her through that?”
“Better sad than dead, Xave.”
“She came out of the fire fine, Kaine.”
“Because she was lucky. And it’s all because of me. All this… is because of me. And I’d rather die than be the reason she gets hurt.”
“Too late, buddy. It’s much too late for that,” he says, shaking his head at me. And for the first time ever, Xavier Kent looks disappointed to be my friend.
I turn away from him and the darkness takes hold of me again. I press the mask hard against my face and take deep breaths, fading away into sleep.
***
12 hours of sleep later and I can almost feel my extremities again.
I’m moved to an upstairs ward and Xavier visits, bringing food and the police report.
“Any of our guys hurt?”
“Not seriously. Hamish and Ben got some bad smoke inhalation and Gerri twisted her ankle running out. Most of them got out pretty quickly.”
“Okay, well, make sure they’re okay and taken care of.”
“Already done, boss.”
I snort. Not a laugh snort, a snort derisive of my position as “boss.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Just, I shouldn’t be anyone’s boss.”
“Shut up. I don’t have time for your self-pity. I have an arsonist to find.” He looks at me, long and hard. And in that look, I know I have the right man by my side in this moment.
“Fine. Pity party over.”
“What about Jade?” he asks.
I ignore his question and try to reach for the cup of water left by my bedside. My hands are wrapped and I can’t grab it.
He reaches for it and positions the straw near my mouth.
“Thanks, Florence,” I tease him.
He raises an eyebrow.
“Nightingale,” I clarify, rolling my eyes.
“Well, you can’t be feeling too bad if you’re making jokes.”
I shrug. I don’t tell him that I joke so it doesn’t feel too bad. Because, right now, I could die and it would be okay.
“Anyway, get Jemima to give you a list of all the guests, and bring it here so I can call everyone. Make sure they’re okay.”
‘You haven’t heard?”
“Um. I’ve been in a coma.”
“Sorry. No one knows where she is.”
“What do you mean?”
“No one’s been able to get in touch with her.”