“Um.” Shit.
“Kaine, how? Have you been… watching me?”
There’s really no way of denying it at this point. “I have. I have security cameras all over my office and apartment. So yes.”
“Oh my God!” she exclaims and pulls out of my arm and sits up staring at me. “What else did you see?”
I cringe. It’s not that I’m hiding it from her, I had just hoped to break it to her at another time. “I also saw you dancing in an apron, making pork chops.
“Ugh,” she covers her face as a blush rises up her cheeks. “And?”
“And… I saw you… not being repulsed when you saw my scar.”
She drops her hands from her face and looks at me. “I wasn’t.”
“I know,” I reach out for her, and she hesitates for a moment before falling back against me. “I also notice you were too busy looking at something else.”
“Shush. We’re not done talking about this yet.”
“Fine.”
“And I did like what I saw.”
“Perv,” I tease her, nuzzling her neck.
“That’s not what I meant, creep!” she giggles.
“I know. Go to sleep.”
And we do.
HER
I feel like giggling.
Not laughing, not chuckling, not outright belly guffawing.
Just… giggling.
Like, when you’re drunk and something slightly silly happens and you think it’s the funniest thing in the world.
Like when you’re staring into someone’s eyes and the nervousness tickles in the back of your throat and there’s nothing you can do to hold it in.
Like when you’re sitting on your own and think of someone or something that makes you smile, but more, so much more.
Like, when you’re just living, going about your day, and you realize, you’re happy. Just honestly and truly happy.
I feel like giggling. And never stopping.
“What are you giggling about?” a sleepy, muffled voice with a mouthful of my hair wonders from behind me.
“I wasn’t,” I lie.
“The shaking of the bed begs to differ.”
“I was… scratching.”
“Well, then what was making your funny bone itch, lady?”
“It’s nothing. Go back to sleep.”
“Okay.”
And something about that exchange, makes me giggle.
***
“Ahem,” a male voice wakes me.
“What?” I growl, not ready to get out of bed yet.
“What, what?” Kaine counters.
“You just said ‘ahem.'” I say grumpily. It’s too early to have to explain myself.
“No, I didn’t,” he argues back. “Maybe you dreamt it.”
“It was me, bloody lovebirds,” a third voice, the original voice, cuts in.
We both jump up and stare at the intruder.
“Xavier! What the fuck, man?” Kaine yells. “Why are you here?”
I slide down into my pillows and pull the sheet over my bed and curl into a red-faced ball, willing him to go away.
“I’m working. What are you doing here?” he asks his boss.
“Why do people keep asking me that? I live here, asshole.”
“Can we help you?” I yell from under my linen cocoon.
“No, but I think I might’ve helped you. There’s someone out in the living who wants to see you,” Xavier says and I freeze, not sure I heard him right.
Kaine pulls the sheet down so my head is poking out, and he’s smiling at me.
“No.” I look up at him.
“Why don’t you go out and see?”
“Gabe?” I scramble out of bed, pulling the sheet around me like a toga. Once satisfied with the coverage, I run out into the living room, bracing myself for what I may or may not see.
“Gabriel!” I scream when I see him standing in the middle of the room and run up to him.
He catches me in his arms and I sob, the relief washing over me. “Gabriel! Where have you been? Are you okay?” I pull away and trace my eyes over his body, checking, checking his weight, checking for injuries, like I’ve been doing for the last six years.
I look up into his eyes, and they’re wet and red, and my heart breaks for the little boy who wanted his cute little head on a coin. I pull him back into my arms, sobbing his name.
“Hey, hey,” he whispers after a while, his head cradling the back of my head. “It’s fine, everything’s fine. In fact, it’s good. And it’s only going to get better.”
“Why, what do you mean? Where did you go? Why did you leave without telling me?” The questions come hard and fast, and I have so many more.
“Why… um, why don’t we sit down?” he says, gesturing to the chair.
“No, GABRIEL ANTHONY SINCLAIR, you will answer my questions, RIGHT NOW or I am…?”
“What? Going to tell Grammy?” he grins at me, and I’m surprised at how okay he actually does look. Maybe not physically, but definitely mentally.
“No. I’m… I’m going to tell… XAVIER!”
“Oy. Okay, I’m all yours, ask away. He is scary.”
“Hey!” Xavier protests.
“Shush, family reunion going on here. Go break some knees somewhere else,” Gabriel waves Xavier away.
“What? Did he…?’
“Let’s just say he’s good with the threats.”
I turn to look at Kaine, who has now followed us into the room. He just shrugs and looks sheepish.
“Whatever,” I brush his away. “I’m dealing with YOU right now. Why did you go?”
“I went… I went to get help, JJ.”
“JJ?” Kaine repeats, hearing Gabriel’s childhood nickname for me.
“Shush. Well, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because, it’s not the first time I’ve tried… and failed. And I didn’t want you getting your hopes up. I just thought if I disappeared this time, you’d worry for a little while but you’d get used to it, and one day I could just show up, and… be well, and clean and healthy and stop disappointing you. Because I’m going to do it this time, sis. I really am. The other day really scared me.”
“Aw, you idiot. I know you can do it.”
“Thanks, sis.” He runs a hand over his tired face. I reach out and run the back of my hand against the stubble on his chin. He looks older than I’ve ever seen him. Not old, but grown up. Maybe he really has.
“But you didn’t tell me, where did the scary man find you?”
“Hey!” Xavier protests again. And I shush him with a look.