“No, Sunny. I shouldn’t be afraid. You are what scares me the least in life. You’re not just tattooed on my skin. You are marked in my heart. Woven into the fiber of my being. The most constant and reassuring person in my life. When I close my eyes, I see you. When you’re far from me, I dream of you. When I need someone to lean on, you are always there for me. God. You have loved me when I have not even been able to love myself. My hands squeeze her cheeks and tears spill over them. But she smiles at me as if she had hung the moon.
“You’ve been looking at me like that for so damn long. And I don’t know when I started looking back, I just did. Forcing myself to look away for so many years has been a special torture. I’ve tortured myself enough. I’m done hiding, missing this. Of us.
A silent sob leaves her lips, and she presses her head into the center of my chest.
“Sloane, I’m not leaving without you.
“You’ve never been without me, Jasper. Not since the first day I laid eyes on you.
My heart breaks at her admission, and she tightens her grip. Like he knows he fits in there.
Like she knows she belongs there. Filling all the cracks where I break.
I hug her tightly and rest my cheek on the top of her head.
“I’m sorry that you are the only thing that has made me feel whole again. I’m sorry I needed you so much. Sunny, I’m sorry I’m so late. But thanks for waiting.
He reaches into my jacket and touches the dancer tattoo on my ribs.
“You’ve arrived just in time.” -He looks at me out of the corner of his eye-. Have you stayed in one of the empty houses?
My lips twitch.
-Maybe.
-There is a bed?
I shrug.
An air mattress.
“Jasper!” He moans my name, but his voice is funny too.
-That? I don’t like being away from you. In fact, I would have come sooner. But I had to pick up your birthday present.
“Did you buy me a birthday present?” -His eyes light up.
“Of course I brought you a birthday present. What kind of idiot shows up to his girlfriend’s birthday dinner without a gift?
He raises an eyebrow at me and we both smile.
-Bride?
-Of course.
Then, from my pocket, I press the button on the key fob and the SUV behind me starts up with a soft beep.
Sloane’s gaze falls to the white Volvo and then back to me.
-Have you bought me a car?
The safest one I could find. They have done the crash tests and…
“Jasper,” he laughs my name. I trust you. I take the word. I love it.
“I know you almost always walk everywhere in the city. I clear my throat, feeling suddenly shy. But I want you to have something safe for your trips.
-My trip, huh? “Now smile.” It is contagious.
-Yeah. From our home in Chestnut Springs. You will need a safe car to go to the city to work. And you need your freedom to go where you want. To do whatever you want.
His eyes fill. She blinks and a tear falls down her cheek.
“You just understand me, you know that?” “He shakes his head gently.” You have always understood me.
Everything hurts – my heart, my throat, my chest – so I do the only thing I can think of to make it hurt less.
I love you, Sloane Winthrop. I have always loved you. I love you so much I don’t even know what to do with it. You are my person. And I think I’m yours too.
” You’ve always been my person,” he blurts out. I love you so much.
I don’t stop. I don’t think twice. I lift her head and kiss her.
In the middle of a busy street for the whole damn world to see us while the snow falls around us. In the exact place where he walked away from me once.
But this time, it’s us.
Together.
39
Sloane
Sloane: Get your butts on the floor!
Willa: I’m not going to play hockey.
Summer: Why?
Willa: It’s not safe. Hard ice. Sharp blades. A lot of men trying to prove that they’re not out of fashion. Fuck that noise. I’m going to sit on my ass and cheer for Luke.
Winter: I think show jumping is probably more dangerous. Medically speaking.
Sloane: Winter, are you coming?
Winter: I can’t. I’m sick.
Willa: Yes. Me too. I’m sick. *cough cough*
Summer: Well, you’re all boring. I’m on team Sloane! Merry christmas! Come on, damn it!
I thought my best Christmases were when I was a child. When the magic was still alive and vibrating. But somehow this Christmas takes the cake. He takes the whole cake. And all the magic is vibrating.
I woke up in Jasper’s arms. In our perfect and cozy little house. The home that little by little we have made together. We made love while the snow fell outside the window before we even got out of bed. And then we hopped into one of our very safe SUVs and headed straight to Wishing Well Ranch.
My mother and Harvey met us at the door with welcoming hugs and kisses as they ushered us into the bustling ranch. Everyone was there.
We’ve been together all day and my heart has never felt so full. Every time I get too far away, Jasper comes closer to me. I barely go five minutes without feeling it touch me in some way. Without him kissing my hair for everyone to see.
It’s… Well, it’s magical.
Almost as magical as this new tradition. The first of many Christmas traditions I plan to do with Jasper.
Bright Christmas.
“I thought skating was supposed to be easy?” “You morons make it look so easy,” Rhett complains as he skates like Bambi across the ice, all long legs and clumsy movements.
“Bad word, Uncle Rhett!” calls Luke, his six-year-old nephew, as he skates at full speed around his uncle.
Summer laughs before standing up from the log where she has been sitting with Willa.
“I can help you, honey,” he says as he skates effortlessly toward Rhett.
He rolls his eyes.