“Last night they called me to tell me that he had missed his scheduled flight, which is nothing out of the ordinary for him. But this morning I received a second call informing me that something had gone wrong on his mission… and he had disappeared.
“What do they mean by missing ?” My words come out harsher than I intend, certainly harsher than Harvey deserves. It is his son who has disappeared.
Missing. That word repeats itself in my head until it loses all its meaning.
Harvey blinks.
“You know how that unit works.” They don’t say anything to anyone. The only thing they’ve told me is that he was on a mission, something went wrong and he didn’t get on the departure transport. Now they are investigating.
The air is too thin and my lungs are too small. The world is too heavy. Suddenly, I am there again that day. The hot pavement beneath me, listening to my father scream and my mother lament.
Feeling completely helpless.
-I need water.
Sloane moves, her dress billowing as she crosses the kitchen and pours herself another glass of liquor. And I stay here, looking at the bourbon in Harvey’s hand. It reminds me of Beau’s eyes, of going out and drinking too much with him, of listening to him crack crude jokes and laugh too loud.
-Take. Sloane lifts my arm and curls her fingers around the glass like it’s a vegetable or something. Come on. Her hands are back around my forearm, and she leads me toward the table.
I leave, too stunned to know what else to do. He pulls out a chair and sits me down. And then he turns to Harvey.
He forces a smile as he looks at her.
“I’m sorry I missed your wedding, Sloaney.
Her eyes shine with unshed tears as she drops a small hand on his shoulder.
“You didn’t miss the wedding, Uncle Harvey. The wedding did not take place.
His gaze turns between us with a small nod of his head.
“I guess… I guess it makes sense, since you’re here with Jasper and not your husband.” The two of them seem so natural together. I… I’m sorry. A palm covers his face. I’m not thinking clearly right now.
A choked sob comes out of his chest. Followed by an equal one from Sloane.
And then she is there, putting her arms around the man who is my father. In everything I needed a father, Harvey was that person for me. He has known so much pain in his life. So many losses and difficulties.
Like me.
And it seems infuriatingly unfair that something like this should happen to us.
Sloane doesn’t apologize. It doesn’t tell him that everything will be fine.
“I love you, Uncle Harvey,” is all she says as she wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him fiercely, letting him gasp into her shoulder as a stray tear falls down her cheek.
Again.
Sloane has shed too many tears today.
And yet, she is here. Drunk And sad. And lost. Her feet are dirty and she is wearing an expensive, torn wedding dress from a marriage that never took place. Her life is in chaos, and she’s still here comforting other people.
Sloane is selfless.
He may not look like it, but he is strong. He has a big heart. A gentle soul.
And watching her comfort Harvey right now, I allow myself to admit that the way I love Sloane may not be at all how one friend loves another.
… A fist lands on my shoulder, but I laugh. This jerk hits like a little kid. And it’s just been left open to me.
My knuckles crack as they hit Tristan’s face, and blood spurts from his nose, which seems to act as some kind of signal for all his shark friends to pounce on me.
“You’re fucking dead, Gervais!” I’m going to go to the back field and burn that disgusting car you live in. I’ll put you on the street, where you belong.
His words hurt much more than his punches. I look around, feeling the pressure of the new people around me.
Everyone assumes that hockey players are popular, I’m proof that that’s not always true. Everything that has happened has reduced me to the town’s trash, and these are the kids at school who have fun reminding me of my place on the totem pole.
Today I have overflowed.
When I glance at Tristan, it’s the boy behind him that catches my attention. Beau Eaton. School quarterback, honor roll, basically the town prince that everyone loves. I never took him for the guy who would join something like this…
“Tristan, fuck you. He gives him a push and stands up, preventing me from seeing the crowd. Everybody go to hell! “The show’s over,” he announces, crossing his arms and returning his gaze as our companions disperse.
Shame hits me. Not only am I the weird homeless kid who was abandoned by his parents… now I’m the most popular kid’s charity case.
Before I can even think about what I’m doing, I turn around and run straight toward the grove of trees that divides the schoolyard from the bushes of the back field. Straight toward the beat-up old Honda I’ve been calling home.
-Hey! Wait! I hear Beau call, but I don’t look back. Humiliation pushes me forward, and within minutes I am leaning against the white piece of metal trying to catch my breath. It’s a shitty place to live. But it’s dry and close to the hockey rink. And that’s the only thing that matters to me.
“Do you really live here?”
I growl. Of course, he had to follow me.
-Yeah.
Silence falls between us. I’m embarrassed to turn around and look at his face.
-Come to my house. -With that he breaks the tense silence.
That’s what makes me turn to look at this shiny golden boy of a teenager.
-Your house?
-Yeah. He nods confidently, arms crossed over his chest as he tries to look at me and not at the misery I’ve been living in. Many rooms. Lots of food.
-I…
“I don’t take no for an answer.” Grab… Now he looks behind me, his features contorted. Whatever you need. My brother Cade will take us when Rhett gets out of detention.
-Sure? “A small, fragile flame of hope flickers inside me.” What if your family doesn’t want me there?
He just makes fun.
I guarantee you that my family does not want you to live here.
And just like that, Beau Eaton cements itself as one of the best things in my life…
-Hello. Sloane’s voice is calm and tentative behind me.
“How did you know I was here?” I don’t turn to look at his head leaning out the window.
I’m still frozen, and it has nothing to do with how cold it is now.
“It’s hard to forget our nights here, to be honest.
Is not wrong. The nights we spent on the roof were some of the best of my life.
They started out as the worst nights, but when she joined me they got instantly better.
-I could also feel the cold air from the hallway.
I growl, not wanting to talk. In fact, I feel completely empty