Book4: Powerless
Two childhood friends. Two broken hearts. One impromptu road trip to get away from everything. That’s all this was supposed to be. Afterall, I’ve been living in the friend zone for years now.
But hockey heartthrob Jasper Gervais isn’t looking at me like a friend anymore. And he isn’t touching me like one either.
To his fans, he’s the handsome, talented athlete on TV. But to me he’s still the lost boy with sad eyes and a heart of gold.
The man I’ve loved in secret for years.
So when my life falls apart on my wedding day, it only makes sense that he’s the one to swoop in and save me. And when his world comes crashing down around him, I’m there to return the favor.
But the more time we spend alone, the more Jasper doesn’t feel like a friend at all. He feels like everything I’ve ever wanted and thought I could never have.
Our feelings aren’t straight forward though. They twist and turn around the pain of his past and the reality of my present.
Jasper Gervais acts like he wants me.
But after years of turning me away, he’s going to need to prove it.
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1. jasper
Sloane Winthrop’s fiance is a real jerk.
I’m familiar with that kind of guy. You don’t make your way in the NHL without encountering a few.
And this guy has the act in the palm of his hand.
Sterling Woodcock ‘s name wasn’t enough, he now brags about the hunting trip in which he and his father spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to kill lions born and raised in captivity, as if it would make their dicks bigger. .
From the Rolex on her wrist to her manicured nails, she oozes wealth, and I guess it makes sense that Sloane would end up with a man like him. After all, the Winthrops are one of the most powerful families in the country with what is a near monopoly in the telecommunications industry.
As he rambles, I look across the table at Sloane. He has sky blue eyes and is fiddling with the napkin in his lap. It seems like he’d rather be anywhere but here, in this ornate, dimly lit steakhouse.
And I feel the same.
Listening to your future husband brag to a table full of family and friends I’ve never met about something that is honestly embarrassing and sad is not the way I would choose to spend a night off.
But I’m here for Sloane, and that’s what I keep telling myself.
Because seeing her now, all dejected a few nights before her wedding… it seems like she needs someone here who really knows her. The rest of Team Eaton couldn’t go into town tonight, but I promised him I’d go.
And for Sloane I keep all promises, no matter how much they hurt.
I hoped he was smiling. Radiant. I expected to be happy for her, but I’m not.
“Do you hunt, Jasper?” Sterling asks, all poised and pretentious.
I feel like the collar of my plaid shirt is strangling me, even though I’ve undone the top buttons. I clear my throat and lean my shoulders back.
-I do.
Sterling takes the crystal glass in front of him and leans back to size me up with a satisfied smile on his clean-shaven face.
“Any big game?” You would enjoy a trip like that. -People who don’t know me nod their heads and murmur.
“I don’t know if…” Sloane begins, but her fiance crushes her attempt to add something to the conversation.
We all saw how much your last contract was. Not bad for a goalkeeper. So as long as you’ve been responsible with your money, it’s something you should be able to afford.
Like I said: idiot.
I bite the inside of my cheek, tempted to say that I’ve been terribly irresponsible with my money and that I don’t have a single dollar. But no matter how humble my upbringing, I am classy enough to know that finances are not a polite conversation.
-No man. I only hunt what I can eat, and I don’t know how to cook a lion.
The table laughs a little, even Sloane. I don’t miss the moment when Sterling narrows his eyes, clenches his teeth, and drops his jaw.
Sloane intervenes quickly, stroking his arm as if he were a dog that needs to be calmed. I can almost feel his thin fingers on my own arm and absentmindedly find myself wishing it was me he was touching.
“I used to hunt with my cousins in Chestnut Springs too, you know?
I go back in time, remembering a young Sloane who kept up with the boys all summer. Sloane with dirt under her nails, scrapes on her knees, her hair bleached by the sun, tangled and loose down her back.
“It’s more for the excitement, you know? The power. -Sterling completely ignores Sloane’s comment.
He looks at me like an opponent, but we’re not playing hockey right now. If we were, I’d give him a quick punch in the face.
“Didn’t you hear what Sloane just said?” “I try to be calm, but I hate how he treated her throughout dinner. I don’t know how it ended up here. Is my best friend. She’s eloquent, intelligent and funny, don’t you know? She does not see her ?
Sterling waves a hand and laughs.
-Oh yeah. I always hear about Wishing Well Ranch. He turns to her with a condescending tone and a mocking smile. Good thing you’re over the tomboy phase you went through, babe. You would have lost your vocation as a dancer.
His shitty response gets worse as I realize he heard what she said and decided to ignore her.
“I can’t even imagine you handling a gun, Sloane!” -exclaims a guy at the back of the long table, with a red nose from having drunk too much whiskey.
“It was good, actually. I think I only hit something alive once. She laughs lightly and shakes her head, bright strands of blonde hair slipping in front of her face before she pushes them back behind her ears and lowers her eyes with a slight blush. And then I cried uncontrollably.
Their lips intertwine and I am enthralled. Instantly imagining things I shouldn’t.
-I remember that day. I look at her from the other side of the table. That night you couldn’t even eat the venison for dinner. We all tried to console you, but it didn’t work. My head bows at the vivid walk down memory lane.
“And that right there,” Sterling points to Sloane without even giving her a glance, “is why women shouldn’t go out hunting.” Too annoying.
Sterling’s grown-up frat buddies laugh out loud at his pathetic comment, prompting him to go all out in his jerk way. He raises his glass and looks at the table.
-For keeping women in the kitchen!
You hear laughter and a handful of people saying ‘cheers’ and ‘ here, here’ .
Sloane wipes the white cloth napkin across her lips with a dainty smile, but keeps her gaze fixed on the empty place setting in front of her. Sterling goes back to gloating with the other guests… ignoring the woman sitting next to him.
Ignoring the part of herself she was trying to share with him. Ignoring how it embarrassed her.
My patience for tonight is quickly running out. The desire to take a backseat is overwhelming.
Sloane looks at me across the table and gives me one of her practiced smiles. I know it’s fake because I’ve seen her real smile.
And this is not it.