He watches me for a long moment in silence.
Then his face darkens, and he nods, almost dejectedly. “You don’t feel safe here. I should have protected you. I failed you.”
He looks so devastated that I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.
I grab my backpack and give him a faint smile. “It’s not the mayor. I’ve had my share of sleazy guys before. I just need some time out, okay?”
“It’s me. You want to get away from me.”
I sling my backpack over my shoulder and grip it tight for support.
Can’t he leave it?
“I can’t stay here while you sleep with Maria.” My voice breaks on her name. I study my feet because I can’t bear to look at Killian. “I know there’s nothing between us, but I can’t shut off my emotions like you can. I figured that out tonight.”
He makes an ugly sound that sounds like a laugh.
The callous bastard actually fucking laughs at me.
“Can you just fuck off, Killian?” I say in a sob, glowering at him through my tear-filled eyes.
“Wait.” His arm shoots up, and I am jarred back against his warm body. He stares into my eyes and slowly slides my backpack off my shoulder. His arm tightens around my waist, making it impossible for me to escape. My head barely reaches his chin.
I go rigid as the warmth of his body and the smell of him surround me.
My heart starts pounding in my chest. My face flushes hot, and I hate his effect on me.
He’s not playing fair.
“Maria’s not here,” he says gruffly. “She’s gone. She was never going to stay. I took her out for lunch yesterday and told her things would only remain friendly between us.” His warm breath blows against my forehead as he heaves a sigh. “Even I’m not that big of a bastard, despite what you think of me.”
“Yeah? She didn’t look like she got the memo,” I snap.
“I’m sorry.” His strong hands grip my lower back, holding me flush against him. “I’m sorry you thought there was something between Maria and me. I’ve taken her to lunch a few times, but that’s it. There’s no connection. You are the only person I saw in the room tonight.” He almost seems frustrated with himself for his feelings toward me. “You’re the only person I notice in any room these days. You consume my thoughts more than I care to admit.”
“Why is that such a bad thing?”
“I can’t give you what you need.” He caresses my cheek with a sadness in his eyes that makes me want to scream why? Why not? “You deserve more.”
Instead, I muster a weak smile like it’s no big deal. “I know, Killian. You’ve been upfront about that. You don’t want anything serious with me.”
His expression turns grim. “It’s not that cut-and-dry. I’m not a good guy for you.”
“You don’t commit.”
“I can’t commit. There’s a difference,” he counters, as if it justifies everything.
His face clouds over. I want to ask him what he means, but I’m afraid he’ll close down.
And right now, he wants me. He hardens against me as I run my hands down his chest. His breathing is ragged, and his nipples harden as my fingers trace over them.
I get on my tiptoes, so his hardening cock is closer to my core, and I can run my hands through his hair.
I want him to fuck away my pain. I want him to fuck away my tears.
Even if only for tonight.
“I didn’t come here to fuck you.” He groans against my forehead, his expression clouding with what I think is regret. “I came here to make sure you’re okay.”
“Then make me feel good,” I murmur, angling his head down so our lips almost touch.
He groans again, then grips the back of my hair and drags my mouth to his. I open wide, my tongue pushing hungrily against his.
His stomach muscles jerk as I push my hand down his abs and into his underwear. I need to feel all of him. Now.
Holy shit, he’s fully erect. His thick, heavy cock strains in his trousers, jerking against my touch, and I love how affected he is by me.
I curl my hand around him possessively; the sensation sending shivers through my body. I’m aching for him to destroy me, to rip me to pieces.
“Wait, Clodagh,” he says as I fumble with the buttons of his trousers. His voice is coarse, thick with need. “Fuck. This is all about you, not me.”
He slowly unbuttons his shirt while I stand there, panting and desperate, with my hands gliding across his skin. The shirt joins the rest of the clothes on the nearby table as he grabs me with one arm and carries me into the bedroom.
“Let me show you how sorry I am about tonight, beautiful.”
Every atom of my body shivers in anticipation as he gently lays me down on the bed. My arousal is so strong I’m almost embarrassed.
I try to sit up, clumsily reaching for the top of his trousers. I need him naked.
“Not so fast,” he growls as he climbs onto the bed and grabs my wrists, trapping me in his embrace.
My hands slide over his toned chest as I impatiently squirm beneath him.
He gently inches my dress up above my waist and over my head, murmuring, “Sorry, baby,” when my hair gets caught in the fabric.
I suck in a deep breath. I can’t wait any longer. I’ve needed this since the night he left me standing with my dress bunched up around my waist.
“What the hell are these?”
I freeze at his surprised tone and follow his line of sight down to where the tummy control shapewear clings to me like a second skin.
Uh-oh.
“Don’t worry about those; they just help flatten everything out. Take ’em off.”
He slides them down my stomach, and his eyes widen when he sees how tight they are. “Clodagh, these aren’t good for you. You have red marks on your stomach.” He bends down to kiss my stomach softly. “I don’t know what you mean by ‘flattening out’, but I do know you don’t need it.”
I don’t know whether to swoon or die of mortification.
“Yeah, yeah,” I say awkwardly. “Can we get back to what we were doing?”
He chuckles quietly and unhooks my bra.
Now I’m completely exposed and his for the taking.
What are you waiting for?
I spread my legs, willing him to climb on top of me.
TAKE ME.
Killian has other ideas.
“This time will be slower,” he murmurs, talking to himself as much as me.
He gently spreads my legs, and his eyes roam over me from above with a look so predatory, tiny shivers erupt over my body.
He starts at my mouth, kissing me slow and deep, then travels down at a torturous pace. Down my neck and across my collarbone to my breasts. My nipples are so hard it hurts.
I moan out in pleasure and instinctively arch my back as he takes my nipple in his mouth. I grip the back of his neck, my fingers entwined in his thick locks of hair as he teases one breast and then the other with his tongue.