***
It was suddenly hard to breathe. Dean’s knees went weak and he sat down heavily on the couch beside him. He had to take deep breaths to release the tightness within his chest. He’d never felt so betrayed in his life.
“I see,” Dean said with a frown. “You didn’t think I had a right to know?”
“Listen, Dean, I didn’t plan to have a baby at this…”
“Have I said you planned to have a baby?” Dean’s voice raised, startling Kayla.
“I’m not proud of what I did, Dean,” Kayla said shakily. “I should have told you. And I’m sorry I didn’t but you have to understand me.”
“Really?” Dean gave a humourless laughter.
“Please hear me out,” Kayla spoke firmly. “I just wasn’t ready for this…”
“And you are now?”
“Dean, please.” Kayla stared Dean down. “I can imagine what you’re going through…”
“Sure about that?”
“…how angry you are…but put yourself in my shoes for a second. I thought I was on the pill so I was protected. Can you imagine my shock when it finally sunk in that I was carrying? I never suspected. I just felt…different. I thought whatever it was would pass so I didn’t give it much thought. Then two weeks ago, I decided to go for my usual checkup. Only for my doctor to tell me I’m already two months gone. Do you have any idea how shocked and upset I was? There is school. I’m about to write my finals, Dean. Can I do it with this? With the way I’m feeling? The last thing on my mind is studying, Dean. I just want to sleep all the frigging time. How about you? Did you sign up for this?”
“You could have told me and listened to what I had to say,” Dean growled. “It’s my baby too.”
“And what exactly would you have said, Dean? Two things. Both very insulting I assure you. You would either have offered to marry me…which I’ve sworn to myself never to allow in my life. I would never allow a man to tie himself to me just because I’m carrying his child. Such marriages never last. And the other; accusing me of trying to tie you down deliberately…”
“You know I would never do that,” Dean said tightly.
“Do I?” Kayla looked incredulous. “Remember the Island? Remember how all that concerned you was whether I was protected…”
“That was different. I didn’t love you then and you know…”
“But it doesn’t change the fact that you might not be ready for a baby.” Kayla retorted. “I’m not,” Kayla added in a whisper.
“How about the third option?” Dean rasped. “Where I would be genuinely thrilled with the gift of life. Where I would be grateful to the powers that be, for giving me a child. A child by the woman I love more than life itself. Did that ever occur to you?”
“Dean…”
“I thought we were in this relationship together. I thought we loved each other. I kept asking you to tell me what was on your mind. But you didn’t love or trust me enough to tell me about such an important thing. Just last night I pleaded with you, but you wouldn’t say anything. You rather took matters into your own hands and attempted to take a life. My child’s life. Put yourself in my shoes, Kayla. What would you have done if you were me?” Dean’s voice was quiet. Too quiet. He was boiling up.
“I’m sorry Dean. Please forgive me.” Kayla couldn’t recognize her own voice. Everything seemed to be crumbling around her and she couldn’t do anything to stop it. “The thought of a baby scared me. I panicked because too much was at stake.”
“And now? What changed?”
“I…I just couldn’t do it.” Kayla said, her hand moving instinctively to cover her stomach. As if she was trying to shield the baby from harm.
“And your finals? How about the two insulting options which you so nicely outlined? How do you plan on proceeding, Kayla? Maybe go back to the doctor to…handle it when it becomes too much of a bother at a point? ‘Cause it looks like you have everything figured out.”
Kayla recoiled as if he had struck her. “Damn you, Dean. I didn’t ask for this. And I’m no monster.” Kayla whispered.
“Seriously?” Dean sneered, standing up to pace. “Could have fooled me. You were able to keep this to yourself for two fucking weeks. You ate with me, bathed with me, laughed with me, fucked me, told me you loved me, slept in the same bed with me…and the whole time, you kept this from me. You rather planned on going through with taking a life. You probably only got cold feet when you saw the gadgets to be used, or whatever the doctor planned on doing to you. You definitely were not thinking about that baby when you were changing your decision. Afraid of a little pain, Kayla? Do you have any idea how painful it would be to lose one’s life?
Ever thought about that innocent life inside you for even a second?” Dean threw the glass filled with drink against the wall, shattering it and causing Kayla to jump. “I thought I knew you. But you are not the woman I thought you were. You are cruel, Kayla. To even be able to think about this, consider it, and actually go as far as you did, makes you a very wicked woman. I’m so disappointed in you. In fact, I don’t think I can be with you anymore.” Dean said shaking his head slowly. “I don’t even know who you are anymore.”