***
Shane took off his shoes and sat on the bed in his jeans and tank top, to watch soccer. He couldn’t keep his eyes on the TV though. Not when Chris chose to strip down to his boxers and do some press-ups right there in the room. God, he was beautiful. Shane couldn’t help but wonder whether Chris was deliberately trying to tease him or whether it was all innocent. Chris knew the effect his body had on him so it must be deliberate, Shane concluded. Even wild horses wouldn’t have succeeded in tearing his gaze off Chris. The guy’s body was so hot it belonged in the fucking underwear modeling pages.
Shane was so hard he didn’t want to move for fear of triggering a release, which he knew he wouldn’t be able to conceal from the man who was the cause. His breath came out heavily and he felt his precum spill out as he watched Chris do crunches. Fuck, he was a god. When Chris suddenly turned, caught Shane’s eye, and gave him a slow sexy wink, Shane almost shot his load.
“Fuck.” Shane growled and stood up abruptly, heading towards the bathroom.
Chris watched Shane close the bathroom door behind him and shook his head in bemusement. He really didn’t know why Shane was pissed off at him. He felt he should rather be the one angry. He’d pointed Shane’s mistake out to him about judging him wrongly and what did Shane do? Nothing. Not even an apology. Not even a fucking acknowledgment. He’d agreed to leave his job and come on a trip to a place that terrified him even though Shane hadn’t had the courtesy to ask himself anyway. And what did he get for his effort? The silent treatment. Chris wondered what Shane’s problem was. Was it because he’d decided to sleep in the hotel instead of home? What was the big deal with that? He’d needed space to think.
“And that’s why I don’t do relationships,” Chris muttered to himself.
He just couldn’t deal with situations such as the one he found himself in with Shane. Trying to understand Shane was taking its toll on Chris. Or could it be that Murray had told Shane about his decision to break things off with him? Was that why Shane was so pissed? That had seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Granted, he’d been insufferable in the past few weeks but Shane didn’t have to hold that against him. If he’d been a better man, he would’ve walked away from Shane to ensure he never hurt Shane again. But he was a selfish asshole.
He wanted Shane in his life and that was nonnegotiable. Why couldn’t Shane talk to him? Why keep all that anger bottled up? Well, two could play that game, Chris thought with a frown. It had been Shane’s idea to come on the trip and therefore it was up to Shane how the whole trip played out. If Shane wanted them to silently tiptoe around each other for their entire say in Florida, so be it. Whenever Shane was ready to talk, they would talk, Chris decided with a sigh. He planned on keeping his cool till Shane came back to his senses.
***
Shane took a quick cold shower and came back to bed in boxer briefs. This time, to sleep as he’d virtually not slept a wink the night before. By the time Chris came back from his own shower in all his naked glory, Shane was fast asleep. Chris wasn’t feeling sleepy due to all that sleep he’d been doing since the day before so he watched two soccer matches on TV, before stretching out on the bed.
In as much as he wanted to cuddle up against Shane, Chris knew he would probably end up fucking his angry boyfriend in his sleep if he touched him. He wanted Shane so bad, wanted to lose himself in him, and hated that he couldn’t. Couldn’t pull his sexy body under his and sink into it and forget all their problems. So Chris pressed a gentle kiss to Shane’s forehead and turned over to sleep. But just as he was about to close his eyes, the whimpering started, and then they became anguished cries.
“Oh my God, Shane,” Chris muttered as he tried to shake Shane awake. Shane hadn’t had a nightmare since the last one Chris had witnessed it. “Wake up baby.” Chris sounded desperate. Especially so as Shane’s cries, this time, were all pleas…pleas for Chris not to leave him.
By the time Shane snapped out of the nightmare, his face was wet not only with sweat but tears too. He couldn’t…wouldn’t meet Chris’ eye. Shoving the tangled sheet around his legs off, Shane stumbled out of bed and headed for the bathroom, the feeling of terror inside making him nauseous.
“Shane…” Chris got out of bed too and started after Shane.
“Sorry about that,” Shane grumbled tensely. “Please go back to bed.” And with that, Shane locked himself in the bathroom launching to the toilet bowl just in time to empty the contents of his stomach.
When the heaves finally subsided, Shane went to stand under the shower and placed his palms flat against the cool tile. He allowed the pounding jets of cold water to hit him, willing the water to wash away his lingering fear. He’d never felt so much humiliation as he felt that very moment. Not even the first time Chris had witnessed his shame had he felt such utter humiliation. Shame stepped out of the shower almost an hour later. When he entered the room, Chris was sitting in bed, waiting for him. He climbed into bed and drew up the covers.
“Shane, are you okay?” Chris asked softly.
“I’m fine. Thanks.” Came Shane’s quiet response.
“Listen…”
“Chris, please don’t strip away the little pride I’m managing to hold on to.” Shane rasped, sounding wretched. “Please. Just let me be. I’m begging you.”