13-Blocked.
Scar POV.
I had to take a breather, Rina’s naps are affecting my strength, I should talk to her about meeting outside, maybe meeting her for real, but I was also worried she’d be scared of me in real life. She only knows me in her sleep, she doesn’t know I’m real or maybe she doesn’t know it. I had to eat more, sleep more, and spend more time trying to stay focused to get to her. I’ve spent half my days searching for her, although I want to take things as slowly as possible, I still worry that I won’t have enough time to get to know her, to get her to love me or agree to leave with me.
But I also couldn’t risk letting her see me, I can’t risk losing her, not when she’s the only one I wanted, one of the very few people on this planet that I feel something toward them.
I was back in the house, the one that’s becoming more and more as my home, I shower, I eat, and I sleep here, people around here, the one who sees me, the real me, thinks I’m a new vampire around but I don’t mind to correct them, letting them think I am one, but keeping my distance staying away from everyone else.
Tonight was a bad night, I felt exhausted, I felt tired, I’m spending so much time in the dreamland, I’m losing my connection to my body, I had to take some time off, I needed a break, connecting to Rina, is becoming near impossible, last night, I was pulled back to my body, I couldn’t tell her that, I couldn’t tell her I need a break.
I crashed back to my body, it hurt me, physically and mentally, it hurt badly, I couldn’t even try to connect to her again, I need to take care of myself first, and so I did. I took a shower, and shaved, even if she can’t see my face doesn’t mean I should ignore it, although most times I wished I couldn’t see my face either, I wished I could look up and see nothing, instead, I was met eye to eye with a monster, I’m an idiot thinking that I can get a girl like her, one who’d come to hell with me, I’m a monster.
My anger, the one thing that I try my best to keep at bey got the best of me, I punched the mirror, I didn’t care, the mirror crashed into a million pieces, while my hand started to bleed, I ignored the blood, it’s not a new thing to me, it’ll heal on it’s own in few hours, but with how exhausted I’m feeling it’s going to take much longer.
I got dressed in my clothes, not the ones I’m used to wearing in hell, I didn’t put on jeans and a leather jacket, nor did I wear a suit, Lucifer’s favourite choice for all of us, instead I head a hoodie with some sweats, trying my best to blend around, not to stand up between the rest. I had my hood up of course, I walked toward the grocery store, buying meat, protein bars, and some milk, nothing too suspicious, the cashier tried to talk to me but I avoided talking, keeping all my attention on keeping myself hidden, keeping my aura low.
I left the shop and went back home, getting inside from the back door without making it too obvious, I cooked my food, ate, and went back to sleep, I need to move some more, just after my food. I could transport myself back to hell, but then I won’t be able to get back here for her, Ebony would ban me from coming in here, and if I leave Lucifer won’t allow me to get a pet anymore.
I slept for half the day, waking up late at night, I should try and connect to Rina, but I decided not to, instead, I got up and started to do some light work out, push-ups, crunches, moving my body around, getting my body back to working, I’ve been spending too long just sitting wich isn’t good. After an hour of moving around, I decided to get back to sleep, I’ll get to see Rina first thing in the morning after I rest, but even my dreams were filled with her pictures, with her smile and with our kiss, even our broken kiss held a place in my memory and dreams.
I woke up early, my body was well-rested, I sat down and decided to focus on Rina, I could easily connect to her, we’ve been together for a long period, with how rested I am, it wasn’t hard to do it. Rina was still asleep, her face was red, tears stains marked her cheeks, that got me worried, is she having another nightmare? I tried to get inside her dreams, but I couldn’t do it, she wasn’t having a nightmare, I could sense it, but no matter how hard I tried to get in, Rina have blocked me.