I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I just stare at her, horrified. Praying that I’m dreaming.
“I didn’t know how much you’d had to drink, if I had known I wouldn’t have…”
“Wouldn’t have what? Framed me for the accident that almost killed me and Jez?” I scream and she flinches, the tears blurring her eyes. No, no. This is just another sick joke. They’re in on this together, she’s trying to help me get back with Jez. No one could do this. Let alone my best friend.
But I know. I know in my heart of hearts, it’s true. I knew that I was never the one driving that car.
“Oh my god, Paige. Is that why… is that why you paid for all my medical bills? Because you felt guilty?”
“No! I…”
“And… every time I asked you to help me with my memory exercises, you would come up with some excuse not to? You were scared I was going to remember…” The depth of the lies makes me shiver.
“Noemie… please. I made a mistake.” She grabs onto my arm, gripping tight, her eyes desperate.
“What else?” I ask, my eyes narrowing.
“What do you mean?”
“I know there’s more. What else?”
“Nothing!”
“You’re still lying to me? After all this? I know there’s more! Tell me everything!” I shout and I see the last of her resolve crumble. There’s no going back now.
“Chris,” she whispers, her head lowering.
“What?”
“Chris! You… were never dating. You guys never dated. I… I paid him to pretend he was your boyfriend.”
Stars dance in front of me. And I have to take a moment to breathe.
“I knew it. I knew I could never have been with him. For God’s sake, why? Why, Paige??” In some ways, this is the biggest betrayal of all of them. Using my own memory loss against me. Abusing my trust in her.
Jez’s voice cuts through. “Because you were getting too close to me. She couldn’t risk me jogging your memory of that night. So… she…” he can’t even finish, it’s so abhorrent. His face is hard, unreadable. I can’t even imagine what he’s thinking about all this. But I don’t have the strength to deal with him right now. I can barely hold it together with Paige.
I think back to the conversations with Chris at the hospital, and my stomach sinks.
“But…But he knew things about me, my birthmark…”
She grimaces, and I want to slap her.
“You told him. You told him all the right things to say. You took advantage of my vulnerability, knew that I was questioning everything, everyone! You make me sick!”
“Noemie, please. I did it for the both of us! If I got in trouble, my Dad would have cut me off! He can’t take anything negative to do with our reputation.”
I shiver again. The blood in my veins running cold. “Did he know? Did your father know?”
She squeezes her eyes shut and then answers. “Yes. I told him. And he said if I ever told anyone, I’d be out on the street.”
A wave of nausea comes over me and I bend over, dry retching. My body trying to purge all this information.
“Noemie!” She tries to grab me, but Jez pushes away.
I hear Paige argue, “Get out of my way, she’s my friend.”
“Some friend.”
“Noemie!” She calls out to me, as I stand up straight, looking at her. Barely recognizing my own best friend.
I gather myself up to say what I want to say. “Get your things and get out of my house. I never ever want to see you again. Send me the bill, for every single cent. I’ll find a way to pay it all back.”
“Come on, Noemie. We have to talk about this!” she begs me, throwing her arms around me.
I don’t move. “I said, get the fuck out of my sight.” I pull her hands off me and take a step back, bumping into Jez. I bite my tongue, willing myself to stay strong. She stands there, saying nothing, and then flings herself down the sidewalk, running away from the house and down the road.
“Make sure she’s okay, and gets where she needs to go,” I can hear Jez say to someone, and through the thudding in my ears I hear two or three car doors close and an engine turn over as the car drives away.
Soon, other than a neighbor’s radio humming in the background, it’s completely silent.
As if the silence gives me room to breathe, I take a long breath, drawing lungs into the dusty nooks and crannies in my lungs.
And the damn breaks.
“Arrgghhhh,” I hear my voice make a sound like a wounded animal. My legs buckle and I drop to the ground. I feel Jez fall with me.
“Noemie,” Jez whispers, catching me in his arms, my face burying into his neck as I feel my body shaking with sobs.
“Paige…” I whimper through my tears. How could she? How could anyone do such a thing? How could she look me in the face and lie about something so serious? All those months making me think I had caused the accident, caused her injuries, caused my own. And then when I found out about Jez. That should’ve been her chance. Her chance to come clean. But she kept it quiet, all for her own selfish reasons.
And I lost the greatest love I could ever have imagined.
I lost Jez.
“Shhhh, it’s all over now. We know the truth now,” he whispers, lips against my hair. “It’s over.”
But it’s not.
It’s not over.
It’s only just beginning.
I let him hold me, until I can breathe through the tears.
Or should it be, I let me let him hold me.[R5]
Because I know it’s wrong that he is.