“I’m sorry.” I hung up the phone. Now I just seemed to be pushing away the people I was closest to. But if everything was slipping away, I might as well slide down the slope even faster. I might as well end up at the bottom alone if I was losing the only person in the world I loved. I ran my fingers across the picture. I loved him. Why would he do this to me? Was it something I did?
Of course it was. I had been stressed out for weeks. I hadn’t had sex with him in days. I was a mess. And it was more than that. It was my biggest fear coming true. I wasn’t good enough for him. I had always known that. Maybe he was finally realizing it too.
The car came to a stop and the partition started to lower. I quickly wiped away the tears from under my eyes and slipped the picture into my purse so Ian wouldn’t see it.
“We’re here… are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
Ian handed me a tissue.
“Thank you.” I grabbed it and blotted my eyes.
“Call me when you’re done, okay?”
“I’m just going to walk home. Thank you, though.”
“James wouldn’t want you to do that.”
Well James was certainly doing a bunch of stuff earlier this week that I didn’t want him to do. “I’m not sure he really cares about what I do.” I opened up the door and climbed out before Ian could respond. I walked into the building and gave the receptionist my name. In a minute I was being escorted to a room in the back of the store.
I wasn’t sure why I was here. I wasn’t sad now, I was just angry. Did he even want to marry me? Was he going to sneak around behind my back all the time?
“Are you waiting for anyone?” The woman said and gestured for me to sit in a chair.
I put a smile on my face. “Nope, just me.” No one came to dress fittings alone.
“Okay, dear. Let me go get your dress, I’ll be right back.”
I nodded and took a deep breath. James loves me. He had probably gone to go see Rachel for closure or something. He’d be able to tell me on Sunday night. And Isabella had probably attacked him with that kiss. She was a psychopath. He could explain it all tomorrow night. Everything was fine. I’m fine. I was here trying on a wedding dress because I was going to marry the man of my dreams in one week. Next Saturday James and I would be married and it would be the best day of my life. Isabella couldn’t sabotage us. I took another deep breath.
It felt like my heart was beating in my throat. I trusted James. Everything was going to be fine. I leaned my head against the wall behind me. Last night I had been worried about what he might do during his bachelor party. I had no idea what he had already done.
“Okay, let’s see how it fits.”
I shook my thoughts away and stood up. I plastered my fake smile back on my face. “Okay.” I walked into the dressing room with her, took off my clothes, and stepped into the dress. She pulled it up past my waist and zipped it in place.
It fit even better than the sample had. It was perfect. James would love it.
I immediately burst into tears. “I’m sorry.” I tried to clear my throat. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Everyone always gets emotional when they try their dress on.” The woman smiled and handed me a tissue box. “You look absolutely beautiful.”
I quickly grabbed a tissue and blew my nose. I wasn’t crying because I was happy and excited. I was crying because I wasn’t sure if James even wanted to see me in this dress anymore. I’m fine. It didn’t matter how many times I had said it, it didn’t make it true.
“We’ll have to take it in a little under the arms,” the woman said. “And shorten it another inch. Can you come back in a few days?”
I wiped my eyes with another tissue. “The wedding is next Saturday. Will there only be one more fitting?”
“That should do it. How does Thursday sound?”
“That sounds good. Do you have something for that night?” My mom was coming up Thursday after work. It would be so much better once she was with me.
“The latest appointment we have is at 4 o’clock. Does that work?”
James could deal with me skipping out on work a little early. And my mom had already been toying with the idea of taking a half day on Thursday. She wouldn’t want to miss my final fitting. “Yeah, that works.”
The woman wrote the date and time down on her business card and handed it to me. “Is there anything you want to change?”
I stared at my reflection in the mirror. “No. It’s perfect.”
“Have you already tried on veils?”
“A couple. I think I’ll wait till Thursday to choose one if that’s alright.”
She nodded. “Okay. Let me help you out of the dress.”
***
I walked out of the store a few minutes later.
“Penny?”
I turned around to see Tyler leaning against the wall outside of Kleinfeld’s. It was so nice to see a familiar face.
“I would have come in, but it didn’t seem like you wanted me to.” He scratched the back of his neck. “But I could tell you were upset.”
My bottom lip started quivering again. I couldn’t seem to control my emotions ever since I had gotten those first pictures from Isabella. I walked over to Tyler and gave him a big hug. For the first time since James had left, I felt a little calmer. “I missed you too,” I mumbled into his chest. I was making his shirt wet from my tears, but he didn’t move away.
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”
“No.”
He laughed and pulled back. “Well, are you hungry?”
“I’m starving.” I had skipped breakfast because I felt nauseous after eating tons of ice cream and drinking wine last night. But being paranoid all morning had made my appetite come back.
“Let’s get lunch.”
I wasn’t sure if I should protest. Having lunch with him might make Melissa take even longer to get over this whole mess. My train of thought was waylaid when Tyler grabbed my arm.
“Come on. There’s a diner down the street from here that has a really good grilled cheese.”
I smiled. He knew I couldn’t resist a grilled cheese sandwich and fries. We walked toward the diner in silence. He was probably wondering the same thing I was about Melissa’s reaction to this. I didn’t want him to be in the doghouse because of me.
As if sensing what I was thinking, he opened up the door for me, and said, “I’m not leaving one of my best friends alone when they just burst into tears in the middle of the sidewalk. Food. Now.”
“When did you get so bossy?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Apparently girls dig it, though.”
I laughed and walked into the diner. It smelled like hot grease and all things wonderful in the world. We got seated in one of the booths by the windows. I slid in across from him and picked up a menu.