“I’m fine.”
“James.”
“I don’t know what you want me to tell you. Of course I’m upset. I’m pissed. I won’t feel better until I’ve punched him in the face.”
“Please, please don’t do that.”
“Penny, he touched you.”
“Can we please just focus on your brother visiting? Just forget about it for now. I don’t want to think about it anymore. Let’s just have a fun weekend.”
“I’ll try.”
“Okay, come on, let’s go. I want to meet him!”
James laughed.
“What’s he like?”
He grabbed my hand and led me out of my dorm room. “He’s… fun.”
“You mean like funny?”
“No, I wouldn’t say funny. He likes to have a good time. I invited him to stay with me when I didn’t have you. He’s good at distracting me.” He looked down at me as we exited the building.
I laughed. I didn’t want to think about when we weren’t together. Just thinking about it made my chest hurt. “Is he like you at all?”
“Like me? He looks a little like me, I guess.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen his picture. I mean, is he like you personality wise?”
James opened up the car door for me.
I quickly got in and watched him walk around the front of the car. He seemed to be pondering the question.
“No,” he said as he climbed in and buckled his seatbelt. “He’s not really like me at all. He’s kind of the opposite of me.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s not independent.”
“What does that mean exactly?”
“He lives off my parents’ money. He’s never held a job for more than a few weeks.” James pulled out of the parking lot.
“Oh. So is he close with your parents?”
“It’s funny. I felt like I was the only one of my siblings who ever listened to them. And they like me the least.”
“I’m sure that isn’t true.”
He didn’t say anything.
“Do your parents know about me? Do they know about your divorce?”
“They know I filed for divorce. I told them about it before I did it. They tried to talk me out of it.”
“And what about me?”
“I haven’t talked to them since I left New York.”
“They haven’t tried to talk to you at all? That was almost a year ago.”
He glanced at me for a second before turning his attention back to the road. “I didn’t say that.”
“So they have tried to talk to you? And you haven’t taken their calls or something? James, maybe…”
“Penny. It’s better this way.”
I thought about the tickets he had given me to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. They hadn’t really been tickets to meet his family. He had just said that I could meet them if I wanted to because I had asked.
“I’ll have to meet them eventually.”
“I know. How about you meet Rob first. Then you can decide if you want to meet the rest of my family.”
“I think Rob sounds great. Does he know about me?”
“No, actually. He doesn’t even know that my divorce is final.”
“So he thinks that it’s just going to be two single rich bachelors in a college town? He’s going to hate me.”
James laughed. “He’s not going to hate you.”
“He probably thinks you’re going to go out every night and pick up girls.”
“I’m sure he wishes that’s what we would be doing. But he knows I wouldn’t have done that whether I had a girlfriend or not.”
“Why wouldn’t you if you were single? Wasn’t that kind of the point of inviting Rob to live with you in the first place? To get over me?”
“I don’t go to bars and pick up women. I like to practice self-control, Penny.”
Self-control. Was he referring to his addiction problem? I looked out the window. Maybe if he had sex with one college student that he picked up at a bar he wouldn’t be able to stop until he had sex with all of them.
“So what made you give into temptation with me?”
“You. I’ve never been so instantly attracted to someone in my life. You’re different than other girls I’ve met. You chose option two.”
I laughed. “Our day in New York was perfect. I’ll always choose option two.”
“I know. And I couldn’t seem to control myself around you.” He glanced at me again. “Not because I’m addicted to you.”
“I don’t care if you’re addicted to me, you know. I’m addicted to you.”
He pulled to a stop at a light. “That’s different, Penny.”
“Is it that different?”
“When I’m low I feel like I can’t breathe. Even when I indulge in whatever it is I’m addicted to. It’s just an escape. But with you, I feel like I can finally breathe for the first time. You’re not an escape. You’re a new way of living that I didn’t even know was possible.” His Adam’s apple rose and fell.
That was a fine line. A very fine line. When he wasn’t talking to me I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Maybe I was the one who had an addiction problem.
“Shit.”
I turned my attention to the road. The reporters were blocking the entrance to the parking garage. I had dealt with enough today. This whole thing was ridiculous. They couldn’t sit out here forever in their vans. This needed to end. I unbuckled my seatbelt.
“Penny, stay in the car.”
I opened the door, ignoring him.
“Damn it, Penny!”
I slammed the car door. “What do you want to know? Why are you standing out here? Don’t you have anything else to report on? This isn’t news.”
“Penny! How do you feel about the recent findings in the investigation?” One of the news reporters approached me, quickly followed by her cameraman. “Did you know that James was…”
“He wasn’t. He hasn’t done anything wrong. What is wrong with you people?”
James was beside me in a second. He grabbed my arm. “Penny, get in the car now.”
“Is that how this started? Him telling you what to do? Did he force you…”
James put his hand in front of the video camera lens that was in our faces.
“Penny.” His voice was stern.
“He didn’t force me to do anything. Haven’t any of you been in love? James is kind, and caring, and wonderful.”
“He cheated on his wife in order to be with you.”
“He didn’t. Stop standing out here harassing us and go do your job. You’re just spreading rumors. This isn’t news!”
“We don’t have any other comments at this time,” James said and stepped in front of me.
Why was he being like this? Why wouldn’t he stand up for himself? I climbed back into the car. Everyone else at this school was an asshole. Girls were lying to get As. The dean was just accepting crappy detectives’ opinions in order to sweep this whole mess under the rug. And these reporters had chosen us to harass? This was ridiculous.
James slammed the door when he got back in the car and laid his hand down on the horn. The reporters didn’t back away until he started to slowly move the car forward. He didn’t say anything as he pulled into the parking garage. But I could tell he was mad. His hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. He pulled into his parking spot and got out of the car. I had to chase him to the elevator doors that had already opened.
“James, I’m sorry. But this needs to stop. They can’t stay out there forever.”
He shook his head and hit a button on the elevator. The elevator came to an abrupt stop. “What the hell is wrong with you?”