“I want to be with you. No more hiding. Besides, everyone already knows.”
“I’d really prefer if you let me do this by myself, Penny. There’s no reason why you should be there.”
“I’m going to get in trouble too. I have to be there.”
He lowered his eyebrows slightly. “You won’t. But if you insist, let’s go do it then.” He held out his hand for me and I grabbed it.
“Good luck,” Ellen said to us as we stepped onto the elevator.
When the doors closed I looked up at James. “I like her. She seems really nice.”
“She is.”
I looked down at my shoes. “Are you nervous?”
“Not really. I have everything that I want. Teaching doesn’t define me. Like I told you on our first date, I don’t think we’re doing anything wrong. This feels right to me.”
“It feels right to me too. It’s weird, you know. I never in a million years thought I’d be in this situation. I didn’t even have my first kiss until last semester. And now I’m embarking on this big scandalous affair with my professor. I’m not even sure my parents will believe me.”
James laughed. “You should have called them already. This is just going to get worse as the day goes on.”
“I’ll call them later. I need to know what the dean says first.” I squeezed his hand. I was procrastinating. I was dreading that phone call. “What did you vandalize?”
He laughed again. “There was this professor I hated. I had him for an 8 a. m. The night before one of his classes my friends and I broke into the classroom and drew… vulgar things all over the chalkboard.”
“With chalk?”
“Yeah.”
“Is that really vandalism?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t think so. And I didn’t get arrested for it either. It was a harmless prank. Hilarious, but harmless.”
“So another lie.”
“Mhm.”
“And were you arrested for underage drinking?”
“I got a warning. They had a three strikes policy like they do here. I only had two strikes, one for that and one for the chalkboard thing. I was never arrested while I was in Harvard.”
In Harvard? I didn’t want to press him about it right now. The doors opened and we walked over to his car. He opened up the door for me.
“Well, you’re lucky I don’t hate you. Or maybe I would have pulled a prank like that on you. I wonder what you would have done if you came into class and there were obscene things all over your chalkboard?”
“I probably would have thought you were giving me suggestions of what I should do to you next.” He raised his eyebrow at me and then pulled the car out of the parking spot.
I laughed as we exited the parking garage. As soon as his car emerged, cameras started flashing. I held my hand up in front of my face. “So are they here because you’re a rich, eligible bachelor or would this really normally be that big of a deal?”
“I don’t know. I’m sure my name doesn’t help the situation.” He sped off down Main Street. It was early and there was barely anyone out. “I want you to let me do the talking, okay? I’m going to fix this for you. That’s my top priority.” He pulled into a spot outside a building I had never been in before. Luckily there weren’t any news vans outside.
“I wish you had just been a student.”
He laughed. “I think you love that you’re dating your professor.”
My stomach was in knots. “I do. Let’s get this over with.” I reached for the door handle.
“Hey.” He grabbed my chin in his hand. “We got this, okay?” He leaned toward me and kissed me. When he began to pull away I grabbed a fistful of his hair and deepened the kiss. I needed reassurance. I wanted to believe that I wasn’t throwing away my education for nothing. He was my future. This was real. It had to be.
I heard the familiar groan in his throat. “We need to stop or I won’t be able to go in there. Having an erection during our meeting with the dean would probably be frowned upon.”
I laughed and kissed his cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you.” He opened up his car door and walked around to my side. He put his hand out for me and I grabbed it. We continued to hold hands as we went into the building. It was the first time we had done something like this in public. And I was grateful for his touch, because I was so nervous.
We entered through the side door and made our way through the lobby and down the hallway. He dropped my hand when he opened a door and I walked in before him. There was a young, blonde receptionist. She immediately smiled when she saw James, but her face fell slightly when he grabbed my hand again.
“Hi, Becca. We have a meeting with Joe.”
“Yes. Joe is expecting you.” She picked up a phone on the desk and punched in a few numbers. “Your 7 a. m. is here.” She looked over at me. “Yes, she’s here too.” She paused again. “Okay,” she said and hung up the receiver. “He’ll be right out.” She looked once more at James and then her eyes drifted back to her computer screen.
James escorted me to some chairs and we sat down. It felt like time was standing still. He leaned toward me and whispered in my ear, “Penny, you’re hurting me.”
“Oh, geez, sorry.” I stopped gripping his hand so tightly. He rubbed his thumb against my palm. The small gesture helped calm me.
He leaned toward me. “Don’t worry. The dean likes me. I think everything’s going to be fine,” he whispered.
“Why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?”
“Because I didn’t want you to get your hopes up.”
“And now?”
“And now I need to believe it’s true too.” He squeezed my hand.
An older man with salt and pepper hair came out of a room behind the front desk. He took one look at us holding hands and shook his head. He turned and walked back into his office.
James sighed and stood up. He kept his fingers intertwined with mine. We walked together into the dean’s office.
The dean was sitting behind his desk. He looked up at us. “Close the door, James.” He sounded tired.
James closed the door and we both sat down across the desk from the dean.
The dean sighed deeply and leaned forward in his chair. “Excuse my bluntness, but this is a fucking mess.”