For their sadness.
“So, are you ready to play now, Anca? Or are you going to tell me what your request it? We don’t have much time. We must be going from here soon, it’s not safe.” He emphasizes the last word, and the sharp point of his weapon, digs deeper into my skin, threatening to break it.
I can’t help but gasp. It doesn’t hurt… yet. But the anticipation is just as intense.
“Y-yes. Let my legs free, please. I can’t play without reaching the pedals. It’s just not complete, and I won’t play if it’s not perfect. It’s been so long since I played for you, I don’t want to play if it’s not perfect.”
My voice is soft, I’m trying to keep it calm, even as my mind races about how to execute my next step.
“Fine, Anca. I will do as you ask. But don’t get any ideas, it’s better for you to just stay with me. I’ll take care of you from now on.”
It’s hard to keep my mouth from lifting into a sneer at his words. How had I fallen for this before? How stupid could I have been?
“Yes, Maestro. I just want to be free to be with you.”
If he can spout off ridiculous words then so can I.
I feel his fingers fumbling at my feet, and the feel of something pulling, like rope, and then it breaks. Cut by something sharp. It’s hard not to focus on the fact that it’s probably the knife that he had poised at the nape of my neck.
I shuffle my legs, just to test their movement. They’re free. I’m free.
“Play now, Anca.”
I lift my hands and take a breath. And then I play.
Play like it’s the last thing I’ll ever do. Play like my life depends on it. Play to release every pain and regret from my body, and welcome in nothing but the absolute joy of playing. And play… to call them to me. Marius! Jez! Come find me, I am here.
“STOP!! STOP! Anca! What is this rubbish! STOP!” He yells and the sound threatens to halt me, but I don’t stop.
“NO! No, this is NOT what you should be playing! NO!”
I feel him looming closer and hold my breath, waiting for the right moment.
My fingers fly over the strings, plucking each note with deliberation and purpose.
“This is what I play now, Maestro! This is my music! You’ve never heard of it? It’s called Beautiful, by Christina Aguilera. It’s a very famous song!” I shout out into the darkness.
“You talentless fool!” He spits out and I feel his fingers wrap around mine, pulling them from the harp.
Now! My mind yells and I kick out with my legs as hard as I can. Kick! Kick! Kick! Each one making contact- some with wood and some with leg. Flashes of pain run up my foot and shin but I ignore them as I rip my hand away from his and push myself up from the stool, reaching for the scarf around my eyes as I run, blindly away.
“No!” I hear him growl and his hand grabs my leg, pulling me to the ground before I can free my eyes.
“Ugh,” I grunt, the wind slammed out of me. I drag air back into my lungs. Breathe, Anca breathe, remember… I never stop hearing him tell me. “Let me go!” I yell, kicking frantically, hoping just to tear my foot free of him.
“No, you are mine, I made you,” he bellows. And it scares me how much he believes it. How I used to believe it.
“You heard her! LET HER GO!” I suddenly hear a third or fourth voice in the distance shout. In my madness I can’t make out who it is, can’t even be sure I really heard it, but it gives me that last ounce of strength I need. I lift my leg up and bicycle kick down, praying that I meet skin and flesh and not a jagged rock.
“AHHH!” I screech for strength, slamming my leg down with all my might. I feel my heel slam against something with a sickening thud.
“UGHHH!” There’s a growl of pain and my foot is free.
I scramble to my feet and run, still blind.
“Anca!” The voices call to me and I turn in their direction, still running. My ankle twists on a rock, the blinding pain shoots all the way up to my knee and I feel myself buckle and fall toward the ground.
But I never reach it.
Something, someone, warm catches me around the waist and pulls me upright. I struggle, out of sheer instinct.
But they hold me tighter.
“Anca! It’s me, It’s Marius! It’s me, baby, it’s me. I got you. I’m here, I’ve got you!”
And suddenly I can see, the blindfold lifted from my eyes. And it’s really him. He’s here.
“Marius!” I cry, and feel my body buckle again, this time out of relief. But he doesn’t let me fall.
“You’re okay, baby. You’re okay.”
“You son of a bitch! I should’ve finished you off last time!” I suddenly hear Jez shout and I pivot around to see my brother running towards the Maestro, still crumpled on the ground.
“Oh my god! Jez, no! Marius! You’ve got to stop Jez, he’ll kill him!”
“Fuck. Stay here. You’re okay, just stay here, okay?”
Marius takes off, his arms pumping by his sides as he makes ground on my brother. I follow, ignoring his plea for me to stay put.
“Jez! Stop!” Marius calls out to his friend. But his words mean nothing to Jez right now.
“I’m going to fucking kill you!” Jez shouts as he comes within feet of the Maestro.