“Play, my angel, let it sing through you.”
I close my eyes and pluck the strings, tentative at first, then start to grow stronger. I forget what notes are coming up next and which ones have passed. I let myself get lost in it. I’m almost deaf to the music itself, lost in the absolute thrill of creating these sounds from my instrument.
I feel him lay his fingertips on top of mine, featherlight. As if he’s hearing the music through touch alone.
“Yes, Anca. Yes! No more thinking, si? Your music will transcend the moment, do you understand?”
I release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding, and soar.
***
Present Day
Well, that didn’t go well.
I had not expected Marius to come up to me… and not know who I was. So much for crushing on him for the last 8 years. I see the feeling was entirely UNmutual, in every way shape or form. Really… I mean, really? He didn’t even recognize me? I can’t figure out if that’s an insult to how I looked at 13 or a compliment about how I look now.
It’s neither. It’s an insight to what a thoughtless buffoon he was and still is. Okay, I get that we probably only saw each other a handful of times and I was just Jez’s geeky little sister, but still, after… those… ugh, those things he whispered into my ear, he didn’t even have the tiniest inkling of familiarity?
What did you expect? He’s been living on a diet of groupies and pizza for the last year. That can’t be good for his brain. I can’t help but chuckle at the thought of holes the shape of pepperoni appearing on his skull.
Wait. Didn’t Jez say that Marius is actually quite spiritual and is even vegan? Great. Now I can’t even hate him because he doesn’t want to eat animals.
Vegan or not, he didn’t seem to say no to alcohol. Knocking them back with a bunch of backpackers like the world was ending. He caught me watching him a few times, but I’m sure he won’t remember that in the morning. Which is probably good considering I met his look with a snarl every time. I don’t know why he annoys me so much, it can’t just be because he didn’t recognize me.
Ugh, the night sucked.
Well, okay, it didn’t suck. It was actually great to catch up with the rest of the band. They seemed so welcoming, and if the audition goes well tomorrow, I can’t see why they wouldn’t let me join them. Jez is really going out on a limb to vouch for me, I can’t disappoint him.
I guess I just have to find the perfect song. Something that will force them all to say yes. Even drunken thoughtless manwhore buffoons.
***
3 Years Ago
I slam the dorm room door closed behind me, pushing my harp on its trolley into the middle of the room, leaning against it for a moment, exhausted.
The phone rings and I’m tempted to ignore it, but it’s Friday, and I know if I don’t answer now, it won’t stop ringing until I do.
“Yes, boss?” I say into the phone.
There’s silence on the other end of the line for a moment. But I know that won’t last long.
“You’re fired,” comes the answer.
“Good, I wasn’t made for hard labor anyway,” I reply, falling back onto my bed, kicking off my shoes.
“You’re a spoiled princess, is what you’re saying?”
“If I’m a spoiled princess what does that make YOU?”
“Your KING! BOW DOWN TO ME!” Jez yells into the phone, and through the earpiece I can hear laughter in the background. “Hang on, let me go into another room away from these goons.”
I smile as I get settled into my bed, glad to hear my brother’s voice, picturing him surrounded by his bandmates, happy.
“How’s the tour coming along?” I ask him, glancing at the calendar to remind myself where in the world he was right now.
“Great, four more shows and then we’re into the studio for our next record. It’s going to be our best one yet, this is the one, Anca, the one that’s going to get us that Grammy.” I don’t doubt him one bit. “I’ll send you the demos we’ve got up already, see if you have any notes,” he says without a hint of sarcasm, and I can’t help but feel proud that he would care about my opinion about music. “How’s everything with you? I can’t believe my little sis is a sophomore in college already!”
“Why? Because that makes you too old to be gallivanting around the world trying to mark off every city and port as conquered?” I tease him about his famous playboy image.
“Never too old. But forget about me and my undeniable charm, how are your harp lessons coming along? Do you like your new teacher?
“Oh, the Massimo?”
“Si, Signor Massimo with the moustachimo.”
“He’s, uh, he’s good. I’m really learning a lot.”
“Good, I’m glad.”
“He really knows his stuff.”
“Well, you’re a pretty good student.”
“I dunno. I’m not really sure how good I really am,” I say, remembering Massimo’s frustration with me in the lesson.
“Anca, you’re set for stardom, that’s all you need to know.”
“Like my big brother!”
“That’s right!” he exclaims, and I can’t help but love him for his blind loyalty to me.
“You know that’s not what I’m interested in.”
“You don’t have to be, the world will find your talent even if you try to hide it…” There’s a muffled voice on the other end. “Hey, I’ve gotta go, I’ll call you in a few days, okay?”
“Yeah, sure.” I tell him, knowing he never lets too many days go by before calling me.
“You need anything, any money?”
I roll my eyes. I have a bank account filled to the brim with money he deposits weekly, and he knows it. “Go away.”
“Love you, sis.”
“Love you right back, pain in my ass.” I hang up the phone, knowing Jez always waits for me to do it, no matter how busy he is.
I stare at his name as it disappear from my phone. I don’t tell him how much I wish I was travelling with him and his band right now.
Why didn’t I tell him more about Massimo?
That he’s hard on me, but teaching me so much. Teaching me that I need to grow so much more as an artist before I can really call myself a musician. That I need to be more humble, that I’m not ready yet.
I’m going to make my brother proud one day. Not yet, but one day.