“Who?” Brad asks, pouring himself a drink from the bar.
“Hang on, I have to ask one question first Cadey, are you absolutely sure you’re not going to stay? Because I wouldn’t even dream of suggesting this if there was the tiniest chance you could come with us. You know that.”
She smiles at him and kisses him on the cheek, then rubs the lipstick stain off his skin. “Hey, I’m just the hired hand here. Well, hired hands.” She wiggles her fingers at us. “If you can get someone to come help out that you’re happy with, then I can go guilt free.”
“No one can replace you, Cadey,” I say, not sure if I’m ready to hear what Jez has to say. We’re a tight knit group, always have been. Infamous for our cliquishness. It’s taken some very special people for them to be accepted by us. We’ve been through too much, betrayed by too many on our journey to stardom, to trust just anyone.
Jez looks at me, knows what I’m thinking, and lays a hand on my shoulder before continuing. He knows, he knows that I might not say it, but after him, I’m the one who has the most trouble trusting.
“Look, if… IF we were to find someone to take over Cadey’s part, she’d have to be a freakin’ insane musician, right? Top of the bloody game. And she’d have to be discreet. Work hard, work long, not be a bloody diva on tour. And she’d have to available, obviously.”
We all nod, wondering where he’s going with all this.
Jez continues, “Well, I think I know someone who might just tick all those boxes. She’s just graduated from the London College of Music, she doesn’t have a lot of experience playing non-classical music, but there’s no reason why she couldn’t pick it up pretty quickly. She’s totally grounded and won’t let the attention get to her. And best of all, she can be here… tomorrow. Meaning, she can meet with everyone and can get some rehearsal in with Cadence before she goes back to Sydney.”
He stops, looking at all of us in turn, gauging our reactions.
Cadence looks happy, smiling wide, and Brad, at least, looks optimistic.
“But best of all, it’s someone we can trust, she’s not going to go spilling all our secrets to the paps.” Jez hits us with the closer.
Sebastian walks over to him and reaches out, grabbing Jez under his arm with two fingers and squeezes.
“Ow! What the fuck?” Jez yells, yanking his arm away.
“Just checking you weren’t dream talking, conjuring up the perfect person.” Sebastian says.
“Pffffft, she’s not perfect by any means, but she might just be who we’re looking for.”
“Who are you talking about?” I probe.
“Look, I’m not going to say until I ask her. If she says no, then it’s a non-starter. If she says yes or maybe, then I’ll tell you guys. But, I think she’ll jump at the chance. And she’s perfect for us. Trust me.”
“Why should we trust you?”
“Because you know me. And I know her pretty well.”
We all break out into groans, rolling our eyes.
“No, Jez, noooo. Not one of your cuddlefuckees. That’s never going to work!” I groan.
“No, Jerkwaffle, it’s not one of my ‘cuddlefuckees’ as you so eloquently put it. I said I know her well and I mean it. Look, just give me one day.”
“I think I know who it is.” Sebastian says with a twinkle in his eye. It looks like whoever it is, he approves.
“Then keep it to yourself, Doodlebrain,” Jez growls.
“Well, duh, since you ask so nicely.”
“Who is it?” Cadence asks, wrapping her arm around her fiance’s neck, tracing her tongue along his jaw.
“Now THAT’s how you ask for a favor from me,” he growls, before covering the side of his mouth and whispering in her ear.
“Ooooh. Interesting.” Cadence’s eyes light up, nodding. “I think you might be right!”
“Ooh, tell me!” Brad begs, coming comes over, throwing his arm around Seb’s neck and pretending to lean in and kiss him.
“No! Get away from me, sausage breath!” Sebastian swats him away and hides behind Cadence’s back.
“Hey!” Brad stands up, sulking. “You said that’s how to ask you for a favor!”
“Fine… just wait a minute though…” Sebastian stands up and fumbles with his belt, then, pulling his jeans down as he bends over slightly, bares his boxers-covered butt. “I’m ready now, ask me for a favor.”
In the two seconds it takes me to run over and slap him across the ass with a banana, Cadence is already on the floor, holding her stomach in pain from laughing.
Marius
“Hey, has it really been so long since you last had a girlfriend?” Cadence asks me the next day, as we’re sitting at the bar, waiting for our crew to set us up for soundcheck. For fun, to get away from the bigger stadiums, we’ve decided to play a few secret pop-up gigs around London before we’re back on the road in a few weeks’ time. It’s good to try out some new songs, ones we’re getting ready for the new album but don’t want to play in front of big audiences yet.
“What?” I ask her, taking a sip of my beer, mostly to stall as I think up an answer that will get her off that line of questioning.
“You heard what I said,” she says, giving me a look that tells me that she already knows me too well.
I shrug, “How long did they say?”
“They made it sound like it’s been… forever.”
“Well, then, I guess… forever it is.”
“NO!” She slams her glass on the counter and looks at me with eyes round and wide.
“What? It’s not uncommon for people like us. I mean, none of us have REALLY had any long-term relationships. You know how it is.” I shrug, ready for this conversation to be over.
“You know, now that I think of it, I’m not even sure I’ve seen a woman leave your room before. Is everything working..?” She waves a finger in the direction south of my belt.
“Oi! Everything is working just fine, thank you very much. And I’m no monk. I said no relationships, not no women at all.”
“Slut.” She grins and waggles her eyebrows at me.
“I like to think of it as being friendly,” I say, grinning at her. I get rolled eyes in response.
“God. Actually, it explains it, really.”
“Explains what?”
“Why you all suck at it!”
“At what?”
“Talking to women!” She snorts, nodding her head at her revelation.
“Um, dude. Jez was Cosmo’s Bachelor of the Year last year and your frog-legged fiance won the title the year before that!”
She just shakes her head as if she can’t believe it. “Dude. You guys opened at the Grammy’s. That’s like a lady magnet. Not to mention you all look like you belong on the cover of GQ with you bleached white teeth and chiseled jaws. But getting women to fall into bed with you is not the same as talking, really talking to them, and sustaining a relationship. Oh my god! You’re all basically a bunch of virgins!” Her voice reaches a volume too loud for my comfort, and I make a shushing action that she ignores.