“Er, I don’t know. He said somewhere in Leeds.” Oh. The RockFever Fest was going to be in Germany.
“Oh, here he is.”
The door swings open and I face the wall, needing a moment to compose myself before seeing Silas. I bite down hard on my tongue, suppressing the combination of anger and fear, wanting to put up a brave front for Ben’s sake.
“Hey! Am I late? Or can we get this show on the road, huh?”
“UNCLE BRAD!”
I swing around, and there he is, standing right there.
In a clown costume, with giant black shoes, pink polka dot suspenders, a cheesy grin painted on his face, and an enormous yellow daisy poking out of the hat on his head.
I stare at him, taking in the whole effect. I’m stunned. So I do what any other person would do in my position.
Laugh.
I laugh with a loud bursting guffaw. That builds into a shaking of my whole entire body. My lungs burn as I gasp for air, bending over, grabbing the edge of the bed for support as I drag air into my chest only to expel it in laughter again. My stomach aches as my muscles contract with uncontrollable mirth. My face streams with tears…of joy.
“I think…I think something is wrong with Mommy,” I can just hear Ben whisper to Brad over my laughter.
“Um, no. I think this is actually how she is, buddy.”
Which only makes me laugh even more.
I’m aware that six male eyes are watching me, but I don’t care. Something has shifted in the universe, and Brad in a clown costume caused it. And now, now it seems that shifting unbalanced me, and all the burdens fell off my shoulders. And so, I laugh. And I don’t ever want to stop.
Because I’m happy.
Because Brad is here.
He walks over to me, his giant shoes flopping on the ground, and for a moment, the laughter stops. He slides his hand behind my head and pulls me into a kiss.
My hands instantly come up to take his face between my palms, and I kiss him back. Kiss him like the world is ending. Kiss him like the world is being reborn. Kiss him with everything I am, and everything I will be …for him.
Gasping, we pull apart, staring at each other.
“Brad.” I say his name, like it’s my favorite sound in the world.
“Butter.” He grins at me…through his painted cheesy grin.
“And me!” Ben pipes up next to us.
“Let’s get this cast off, shall we? And then we can continue the party outside,” Brad suggests.
“Party?” Ben asks, squirming in his seat trying to see out the window.
“You’ll see. Just be a good boy for the doctor and stay completely still.”
Ben spends the next ten minutes mesmerized by the saw cutting into his arm. And I’m mesmerized by the clown standing next to me.
***
“What are you doing here? And why are you wearing…that? And what are you doing here? And why are you a clown?” I ask, pulling him into a quiet part of the corridor.
“I’m going to need you to prioritize your questions, Ms. Journalist.”
“Okay, then, ‘why aren’t you kissing me again, you clown’ is my first one.”
“Well, I could answer that, or I could just show you.”
“Shut up and do it.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him hard before he can say another word.
“You’re getting white paint all over your face,” he laughs when we finally pull apart.
“I don’t care.”
I don’t care. I only care that Brad is here, and I’m in his arms, and nothing else matters.
“Next question…What are you doing here?”
“I came to see Ben.
“Oh.”
“And you.”
“Oh.” I don’t even care that it makes me grin like a loon.
“And to tell you that you can never leave my sight ever again.”
“Done,” I say, slipping my hand into his.
“And not to disagree-wait what?”
“I said, ‘done.'”
“Well…now you’ve ruined the rest of my speech. The one time I’m prepared for your stubbornness and you thwart my good deed!” He pouts.
“Oops, sorry. I mean ‘NO!'”
“That’s better. The rest of my speech goes something like this: You can’t leave because…because I told you I would protect you and Ben forever, and I’m sorry it took so long, but I’m new to this. I’ll get better.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You don’t have to work for Silas anymore. I know all about it. But you don’t. He can’t blackmail you anymore.”
“Wha? How?”
He hands me a stack of paper. I can’t focus on all of them-just the few words ‘Give up all rights as biological father to Ben Butter.’ I look up, mouth open.
“How…How did you get him to do this?”
“It doesn’t matter. I did. And now I want you to consider signing this form.” He hands me another contract. My eyes can barely focus through the tears.
“What is it?”
“Read it.”
They’re adoption papers. For Brad to adopt Ben. To make him his.
“Oh my God. Brad. No.”
“Oh.” His entire face falls in an instant, and it pulls my heart with it.
“No, I mean…have you really thought about this? What if you want to have your own child one day?”
“I hope I will, and not my own, our own. From this moment on, we’re going to be a family, Butter. Like we were always meant to be, and Ben is going to be my child, in my heart, in his, and on paper.”
“This is the weirdest proposal ever,” I blurt out, trying to process everything. The relief, excitement, the emotions.
“Oh whoa, wait, I wasn’t proposing!” Ben clarifies, and my ears roar with disappointment, and I turn away to hide the blush rising up my cheeks. Had I misunderstood everything he’d said?
“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
I turn around and my clown is on his knees.
“Now I’m proposing.”
“And now I’m saying yes!”
Brad jumps to his clown feet and picks me up, and my hair falls down around us, just like it always did. And I kiss him, and it’s perfect, just like it always was.
There’s a giant cheer and Jez, Marius, Sebastian, and Cadence come barreling around the corner, knocking us over in hugs. I barely have time to register that the rest of the band are in clown costumes, too.