It was just a case of reminding myself of that.
Like right now.
He’s sitting in front of the window, cello in hand as he strums a quiet little melody, providing his own soundtrack to the darkening city skyline. I just want to come up behind him, run my hands up under his shirt and over the taut skin of his abdomen, and lay my face against his back. He’s made me miss that intimacy. He’s made me crave it. Crave it from him.
“Guys,” Dennis says, walking into the middle of the room, and waving them all over.
I see Brad glance over at Sebastian who just shrugs.
“My friend Patrick owns a little live music club just a few streets from here and he’s wondering if we want to play a small impromptu set there tonight around 10:00. Club fits about 2, 000 people, and it’ll be early so it won’t be too bad, we can try out some of the new stuff. You guys up for it?”
As usual, they defer to Sebastian, and he just shrugs again, “Yeah, sure, why not. We’ll chuck it up on twitter and FB, get some of our regulars out.”
Dennis grins and admits, “Yeah, already did it,” and runs out of the room before they can respond.
“Fucking hell, we should’ve just changed the name to “Dennis’ hand puppets.” Jez grumbles.
“No, thanks, I don’t want the image of Dennis’ hand up my ass out there in the public subconscious.” Marius shudders.
“Guess we should all get some rest then, cut the rehearsal here. Is that all right, Cadence?” Jez asks me thoughtfully.
“Please, MIND an early minute? You HAVE been out of school for a long time.” I grin and quickly pack up my stuff and leave the guys to it.
Just as I get into the car my phone beeps and I reach for it.
“You’re coming tonight, right?” the text reads.
I don’t recognize the number and text back.”??”
“It’s Seb, Mary. How many other guys are you meant to be meeting tonight?”
“I didn’t even have plans on meeting one.”
“Ow”
“What? Did Marius’ bow poke up your bum?”I tease him.
“No, your words. They hurt.”
“Good.”
Something about texting makes it easier to say these things to him. It feels good to joke around with him freely, like in those conversations when we first met.
“So, tonight?”
“What about it?”
“You wouldn’t leave us hanging. What if no one shows up?”
“Then I’ll never let you hear the end of it.”
“But you gotta be there to witness our failure.”
The phone dings again before I can answer.
“Please”
And again.
“It won’t be the same without you.”
I can’t help but press the phone to my chest for a moment. Touched by his words. I stop one step short of squealing like one of my teenage students.
“Fine. Can I bring Sarah?”
“That nutso, sure.”
“Then OK. I’ll be there.”
“I’ll be waiting. See you soon, Mary.”
This time I don’t bite back the little squeal.
***
“Fuck, they are good.” Sarah turns to me, and we’re both sweating in this overheated club and from dancing to the band. The guys have just finished a forty-minute set, ending on a roof-raising version of AD/DC’s “TNT”. Patrick, the club owner, has saved us two booths on the side and we’re waiting for the band to join us.
“I’m just going to go to the little girls’ room, do you want to come with me?” Sarah asks.
“No, I’ll stay here with our stuff. You’ll be OK?” Knowing full well in a club, it’s not Sarah who needs to watch out.
“I’ll be fine, won’t be a bit. Order me another vodka tonic?”
I nod and watch as she walks through the crowd, always in awe of how confident she is. Maybe being loved unconditionally by an adoring husband gives you that confidence. And maybe having ex-lovers who are determined to destroy you leads people to be more like me. I shake my head to get rid of the dark thoughts and smile when I see Marius wave to me over the bobbing, dancing heads on the dance floor as the band makes it over to the booth.
“How were we?” he asks as soon as he slips into the booth next to me.
“How were you what?” I pretend not to understand.
“The show!” He glares at me.
“Oh! I don’t know, I took a nap…” I make a nonchalant face.
“Bitch!” Marius pinches my arm and I grin at him. “Where’s your friend?”
“She’s gone to the bathroom.” I explain.
“And you didn’t go with her?!? Don’t you go in herds? Your girl membership card needs to be revoked!” Brad jokes.
I dip my fingers into my drink and flick them at the boys, who howl in protest.
Sebastian slides into the empty spot next to me, and leans in, yelling to be heard over the music. “How we were really?”
Even over the din I can hear the genuine interest in my opinion in his voice. “You guys were great. Really solid. The new stuff is dynamite,” I smile at him.
“You should come up with us next time,” he says seriously.
“It’s the Rock Chamber BOYS, not Rock Chamber Boys and random music school teacher.” I remind him.
“You know we see you as every bit a part of the band that we are.” He insists.
“But I’m not.”
“Maybe you should be.” He shrugs when I question him with my look.
“That would cramp your style.” Your rockstar, groupies in every port lifestyle, I think to myself.
“I’d make room for you, Cadence.” He says earnestly. And it takes everything I have not to believe him.
“Cadey! Move over!” Sarah’s voice pulls us apart and Sebastian moves over to make room for her.
“Hey, how come SHE gets to call you Cadey?” Marius asks.
“She doesn’t ‘get to’, she’s just not as scared of me as you guys are,” I grin at him and he pouts.
“What’ll you guys have?” Patrick comes over with a waitress and takes the guys’ drinks order.
Sarah nudges me and whispers into my ear, “Ugh, there’s some slut in the bathroom talking about how she’s slept with half the band and she’s going for Sebastian tonight.”
I feel as if a frozen icicles stabbed me in the stomach but try to pass it off as nothing. “Yeah, um, I guess they get that a lot.”
“Hey guys! You were so great!”
I look up and see Hailey and a tall leggy blonde coming towards us. She waves to me and I smile back. We’ve seen a lot of each other in the last few weeks as she comes in and out during rehearsals helping Dennis out with some admin work and odd jobs for the band. They really do treat her like a little sister and she’s been nothing but sweet to me.