What do you mean ? Aren’t you coming to visit Lia ?
Um, we actually broke up, I said. At least I think we did.
There was silence for a moment before a few curse words slipped from his mouth. Why didn’t you tell me, man ? I wouldn’t have mentioned her.
It’s fine, really.
Clearly it’s not, he said. And what do you mean you think you broke up ?
We had a fight a few weeks ago and haven’t really spoken since.
A few weeks ago ? he repeated, flabbergasted. What the hell happened ?
Sighing, I spoke dejectedly as I recounted the events of the dreaded phone call. How sad and heartbroken Lia had sounded after Miles betrayed her. How she’d called me out for not being there for her. How I’d stupidly brought up the uncertainties surrounding the long-distance part of our relationship at the exact wrong time. And then how things had fallen apart from there.
Nyberg whistled incredulously once I finally finished. Wow. And you guys haven’t talked since ?
No, not besides a text she sent after we got kicked out of the playoffs I replied. At first, I didn’t know what to say, and then I figured if she wanted to talk, she’d reach out, so I focused on hockey. A dry laugh left my lips. Though a lot of good that did.
I hope you don’t hate me for saying this, but while I get where you were coming from, you definitely should’ve reached out after giving her a day or two to cool down.
Yeah, I trailed off, groaning inwardly as I dragged a hand down my face. I know I messed up.
My heart and mind had raged against one another in the days following the fight, but unfortunately, the latter had unfairly won out. I figured I could only do so much from the west coast, that the Royals needed my undivided attention, and more importantly, because it had stung as one day turned to two and two day turned to two weeks without hearing a word from Lia.
I mean, imagine if what’d happened to her had happened to you. I don’t think you’d exactly be in the right frame of mind.
And dammit, he had a point.
Ruderman suggested I call her and try to clear the air, but what do you think I should do ?
Smart guy, he remarked, but you shouldn’t be taking advice from others, man. You just need to ask yourself what you want to do.
I exhaled slowly. I want to fix things, because dude, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her.
Then maybe don’t try to mend things over the phone, considering your last conversation went downhill that way, he suggested before pausing. Look, the Knights are heading on the road to start the second round of the playoffs tomorrow afternoon, and we’ll be gone for four days. And you’re on vacation, so, if you really think there’s something between you and Lia worth salvaging, then maybe this is the time to come back and see if you guys can make it work. Feel free to squat at mine for a few days too if you need to figure out how to make your move.
Everything inside of me was screaming to take the advice. To go. Yet the one thing holding me back was the embarrassment I felt about how I’d handled this whole situation. Because everyone knew that love was a gamble-that there was no guarantee you’d win-but I hadn’t just lost. I’d taken myself out of the game.
But I couldn’t let that hold me back. I needed to apologize and get over my doubts about long-distance. I needed to fight for Lia.
Plus, remembering that she was set to present her defense to her department in just two days’ time, I knew just the way to do so.
Nyberg, I might just take you up on that.
I wiped my hands on my trousers and took a deep breath after looking over my notes one final time.
Today was the day. I was presenting my defense to Harvard’s Bioengineering department. Five years of hard work, research, and perseverance had gone into this degree, and if all went well today, I would officially be receiving my PhD when commencement rolled around in a few months’ time.
Butterflies fluttered around in the pit of my stomach, but I tried my best to keep calm. I’d spent five years studying and working towards this moment. I knew what I was talking about and could, realistically, recite my presentation in my sleep. I was that well-rehearsed. I just needed to believe in myself.
After all, I had a support system of friends and family who’d all sent over encouraging messages this morning. A myriad of good lucks, well wishes, and you’re-gonna-knock-it-out-of-the-parks. And if they believed in me, there was no reason I couldn’t do this.
With only fifteen minutes left until my defense was set to start, I gathered my things and headed downstairs to the room I was set to present in. As the first one there, I continued to shake out my nerves, tapping my feet in a not-so-rhythmic beat, as I moved about and set up my laptop, but as the five-minute countdown ticked by, people began to file in.
Professors from the department, two colleagues I’d worked with over the years, and a few other students who took seats at the back of the room.
Thankfully, Miles was nowhere to be seen.
As the clock struck ten, one of the professors who’d interviewed me for the lecturing position straightened the papers in front of him and said, Whenever you’re ready.
I nodded, grabbing the remote control from the desk at the front as I expelled a slow breath. Turning to face the room, I saw Professor Klein give me an encouraging smile as she, along with the rest of the panel, waited for me to begin.
Thank you, Professor, I started, before addressing the rest of the room. And thank you all for being here. Today, I’m here to talk to you all about my research around artificial cell generation, specifically surrounding the different methods available to us for transplanting hand-crafted genomes into living cells, as well as the pros and cons to each method.
With each slide came new information ; words I’d memorized to show the professors in the room just how familiar I’d become with my work. And when it came to the data, I let the numbers and charts speak for themselves. Using a laser pointer to draw their attention to the clear facts on my slides, I briefly explained the trends and outcomes, making sure not to overwhelm them with information.
I was clear and concise, gaining confidence as the minutes ticked by.
Before I knew it, I was wrapping up my presentation, recommending the same next steps to the department that Miles had just weeks ago, except I had the additional data to back it up.