25

Fuck.
He certainly hadn’t beaten around the bush.
A bubble of panic began to brew inside of me, but I pushed it down as best I could. I needed to have my thoughts straight for this conversation, so I took slow breaths and leaned forward, my elbows resting on the table as my hands covered my eyes.
Then what are my options ? Is there even anything I can do at this point ?
I tried to rack my brain for everything I knew about the trading process, because I wasn’t a newbie to it. This was just the first time it was unwelcome on my end.
Having been drafted young, but in a late round, I’d bounced between three minor league teams the first couple years of my career before being called up to play for Pittsburgh. And while I’d done well in the games I’d suited up for, come the end of the season, I’d been sent to the Knights.
I’d been twenty-two-ripe and ready to play-and until last year, I thought I’d found the team I meshed with. The one I’d play with until I retired.
But clearly I’d been naive about that.
Ken’s expression was understanding, knowing this wasn’t the path I wanted my career to take, but also professional. Honestly, there’s not much that can sway management’s mind once they become dead set on acquiring new players to shake things up. The last shred of hope I’d been clinging to disappeared from reach. But there is some good news. With the rumours going around the league that you’re one of the players the Knights are willing to trade, I’ve received calls from a few teams to gauge your interest in the case a deal was made.
Okay, I said, not fully hiding the dejected sigh that followed. Which teams ?
New Jersey, Nashville, and Los Angeles.
While Jersey was not somewhere I’d be keen to go given their losing record the last five years, Nashville wasn’t half bad. L. A., however, was the surprising and intriguing option.
Having grown up in California, I’d cheered for the Los Angeles Royals and, as a kid, had imagined playing within their ranks. That was until I realized the probability of doing so was next to none.
Los Angeles ? Really ?
Ken nodded, knowing exactly why I’d perked up slightly. They’re looking to bulk up their second line, which is where you would come in. Same position in the roster, but a new home.
And the other two ? Jersey and Nashville, what are they looking for ?
Nashville is similar to L. A., though they might bounce you between the second and third lines to find the right fit for you in the roster, but Jersey is honestly just looking for someone to give them a spark.
Yeah, I really don’t see myself in Jersey, to be honest, I said, running a hand through my hair stressfully, working through the thoughts bouncing around my head.
I didn’t think you would, but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t tell you that was a possibility.
Understood, but can you let them know I’m likely not the player they’re looking for ? Give them something that’ll hopefully sway them away from going into talks with the Knights’ management ?
Can do, Ken replied. He then raised a brow. And Nashville and Los Angeles ? How do you feel about those options ?
Nashville is a good team, so let them know I’m open to talking. And you know I love California. If I could play for the Royals, that would be a great shot for me to play for the team I grew up cheering for. Tell them I’d be open to talking too, but in both cases, only if the Knights initiate conversations. If something falls through for some reason and the Knights change their mind, I want to stay.
While the look he gave me in return was one of certainty-one that told me I should put any hope of clinging to Boston out of my head-there was also a touch of sympathy to it. But luckily for me, he didn’t stick the stake in my chest by fighting me on my request. Instead, he simply said, I’ll make the calls.
Completely opposite to my own mood, my teammates all seemed to be in the same headspace on the short flight back to Boston-rowdy and buzzing with optimism. Still riding the high from our win the night before, there were people speculating how long it’d take for us to clinch a playoff spot and others getting into a heated competition around one of the in-flight entertainment games.
Yet I sat alone, my headphones in, trying my best to tune everything out. I wasn’t about to hop in and pretend like I wasn’t simply waiting for the other shoe to drop in terms of where I was headed, but I also didn’t want to offload my problems on my teammates.
Though I needed to talk to someone, and when I opened my messages to see the last conversation I’d had with Lia days before, I clicked it open without much of a thought.
Met with my agent before boarding. Looks like it’s only a matter of time before the front office ships me off in exchange for fresh legs.
Both our schedules had been crazy busy over the last week, and while I expected a response to take a while, I was surprised to see three little dots pop up within a few seconds of the message being delivered.
I’m sorry I can’t imagine how that feels. To know it’s coming, but still having to put on a brave face and play hard until it does.
Well, I can tell you it definitely doesn’t feel good, that’s for sure.
Honestly, I can’t think of what to do or say right now, but I can offer solace in the form of pizza and movies if you wanted to swing by tonight.
Will there be pineapple on the pizza ?
I promise there won’t be, and you can choose the movie. I won’t even complain if it’s a horror.
As tempting as it would be to have you in my lap the whole film, scared out of your mind, I’m thinking more of a classic, but it doesn’t really matter to me. If I swing by around seven, will you be home by then ?
Seven works. And in the meantime, I suggest buying a packet of gummy worms. They always pick me up when I’m feeling down
Will take that under advisement.
We continued texting back and forth, moving away from the serious tone I’d started with and leaning more toward lighthearted banter until the plane began to make its descent.
In the hours that followed, I was tasked with compartmentalizing my feelings to the best of my ability as everybody headed to the arena for practice. There was no way I wanted to be responsible for lowering team morale or prompting any questions as to where my head was at. Which meant putting my head down and working just as hard as I did every other day. Acting like everything was fine.