NALEDI’S POV
Caellum chased the demons away.
Being so vulnerable and broken around him made me feel ashamed but I hid it well. It also helped that Caellum didn’t care to point out how dependent I was at this moment.
“I don’t know if I can do it.” I breathed heavily. “I don’t know if I can handle being around him.” A confession. “Luka. You were right, I can’t call the shots on this mission. I am way too weak.”
“You can and you will.” His arms tightened around me. “You are strong. Stronger than whatever the fuck that plagues your mind. And more especially stronger than that nutjob Luka. You will continue on this job. I trust you.”
Hearing him say those words aloud made me blink back tears. I hated being weak. The subject of pity. I hated it all. But I remained in his arms, fighting the strong urge to act out.
“You don’t get it, do you? I’m damaged from the inside. My head is fucked up. Leading this thing with Luka was my sick way of getting revenge for the messed up past I’ve had. I am in no position to-”
“Then make me understand,” I pressed. “Tell me the problem and I will help you overcome it.” His words were a promise.
A semblance of hope. But I knew better. There was no defeating destiny. This was my life and the shadows I fought to forget were back. I’ve been through this road. It would only get worse. It was my life.
I shook my head. “I can’t.”
“You can. You did it before. You will do it again.” Now I was getting angry.
“What do you think this is? Huh?! Do you think this is some joke or a movie where you can make things magically go away because you said they would? Newsflash Caellum, this is reality, and this is my life. I can’t-”
He covered my lips in a kiss. Effective way of shutting me up if you ask me.
I basked in the feeling of our bond coming to life as we kissed so deeply it was a miracle I was able to breathe. Just when I wanted to take it a tad further, he let me go, staring into my eyes and I his.
“You can do it. You will do it. We will defeat this.” He said in a solemn tone, and my tongue was tied.
What could one say to that?
“I am a killer.” My tone was soft, low, and breaking. “I see the blood of everyone I’ve killed, everyone I have taken away from this world every time I close my eyes. I see the weakest version of myself, the abused, trafficked and exploited version.” I broke into a sob, “Can you see why I can’t be around him? Why I can’t continue this job?”
“I don’t know how to make things right. I make terrible decisions and let others pay with their lives. Just like I did to that woman, just like I did by wanting you to free the borders. I don’t fucking know what I’m doing and I am too darned stubborn to accept that until someone fucking dies!”
“I can’t continue like this… I can’t..” I wiped my eyes in anger. “I hate these darned tears! Fuck I hate feeling weak! Why can’t they stop!”
I was near darned pulling my eyes out when Caellum held my hands with his stronger ones. Stopping me from inflicting damage to my eyes.
“You are an Assasin.” He said and I looked at him like he grew a second head.
What difference did that make?
“Yeah, Sherlock. I kill people to make a living.” I dragged out the last sentence, educating him like a little child.
“You are the best assassin in the business, and you are my mate.”
I was still struggling to see where this was going.
“That is why you are the best man for the job.”
I rolled my eyes. Were we still on this?
“I can’t think of anyone better for the job than a strong woman, capable of putting down any man, especially a douchebag like Luka.” I turned my face but he held me still, forcing me to look into his eyes. “Your background does not make you weak. It makes you strong. The best man for the job.”
“Now I won’t force you to take care of douchebags like Luka. I will have a field day treating him to the best unimaginable death possible, but I know you want to. And more than ever, I want to be by your side, watching you do what you know best.”
“Watching you show him that worst and unimaginable death. Because for some reason, I’m convinced you will do a better job taking care of that scoundrel. Much more than I ever will.”
Damn, this man and his speeches. I remained silent, searching his eyes, hoping to find something that screamed bullshit. Something that told me he was sweet-talking me. Buttering me up. But I found none.
“Didn’t know you were quite the talker.” I broke the silence and my heart fluttered when a smile broke from his luscious lips.
I felt my lower lip tingle at the thought of sitting on his face. In moments, my arousal filled the air while I blushed like a scared cat. Caellum’s smile turned into a smirk.
He sniffed the air and a growl reverberated from his chest. When his eyes met mine, a tension cackled between us, tightening as the seconds trickled by. I latched my legs together, desperate for some friction.
Caellum read me like a book. I struggled to hate that aspect of him. “Tell me what you want, Naledi.” He said, knowing exactly what I wanted.
I let my eyes drop to his lips. He took his lower lips in his mouth, biting hard. I creamed my pants at the sheer sight of it. Lust dripped down my legs. And he knew it, the low growl and the flaring of his nose told me he knew of my dirty desires but refused to act on them.
“Tell me, Naledi.” He dragged me closer to himself, letting me feel him under the sheets. “Use your words.” His eyes communicated his desperation and his tone of longing. “What do you want?”
I couldn’t hold back. I was close to combustion and desperate for relief only his lips could satiate at this point.
“Kiss me..” I moaned.
My fingers trailed his lips, loving the feel of them, and imagining the wonders they would do when I got them right where I wanted.
“Kiss you?” I heard the disappointment in his tone, but he ground his erection into my core for good measure, my eyes fluttered close, enjoying the feel of his rock-hard groin gyrating into my clothed core. “You want me to kiss you?” He asked again, spotting kisses on my neck as he spoke, “Is that all you want?”
“Down there,” I whispered into his ears, basking in his sumptuous kisses. “I need you to kiss me down there.”