41

Ivy’s POV
I’m angry. It’s been two days since Nate just walked away from me without an explanation, and I’ve been avoiding him. I don’t understand how he can just keep playing with my feelings this way. The retreat was absolute bliss, and ever since we came back, it’s been an utter shit show.
I’m sitting in the music room, plucking away on the piano, trying to sort through my feelings.
Confusion.
Anger.
Attraction.
I’ve never been so emotionally confused in my entre life, and this is proving to be hard to navigate. I want to yell, scream, and kiss Nate all at the same time and it’s driving me insane. I sigh, beginning to play and I hear the door open, and I stop and turn to see who is coming in and I see the familiar face of Genevieve.
“Heya stranger.” She says with a smile and I half smile back.
“What’s wrong?”
I shake my head. “I don’t even know.”
“Let’s talk about it, like we usually do.” She comes and sit beside me on the bench, and I nod and sigh loudly. “It’s Nate.”
“What happened? I thought everything was going well.”
“It was until he started pushing me away after I healed up from my attack. He stopped texting, being close with me. I thought it was just due to the stress he holds on himself and his duties, but I don’t know for sure anymore. I think I was trying to convince myself that it was anything but me.”
“What makes you think it’s you?”
“We got talking last night after we had finished work for the day…”
“Tobias told you about what he found?” I nod. “Okay so I get that. Keep going.”
“I had told him that he needed to focus on more important things than a wolfless girl like me and he got offended, and then got close to me again, like before. Kissed me… and then apologized said he shouldn’t use me and then walked out on me.”
I look to Evie, and I see her processing the words I said and she half smiles.
“Seems to me like you two need to have a talk about what you are to each other, and your feelings.”
“You think so?” I ask and she nods profusely. “Definitely. Things are getting more complicated, and it seems like you need to be open and navigate it together.”
“But what if he doesn’t want me?”
“That isn’t the case, Ivy and you know it.”
I lean down and rest my head on the edge of the piano, looking down at the ivory keys, plucking them one by one absentmindedly. A few moments of silence pass.
“I guess I should talk to him, huh.”
“That’s what I would do. Go find him and talk to him.”
“Okay. Thank you, my friend.”
“Anytime.”
Evie stands up and side hugs me before leaving and I take some more time to myself to mentally prepare myself.
I don’t know how this is going to go, but I have to try right?
I stand and head out of the music room and down towards Nate’s office, determination fueling me.
I turn the corner and see Tobias and I wave to get his attention. He approaches me with a smile. “Ivy. What can I do for you?” “Is Alpha in meetings? I know he had a few today.” He nods. “Yes, he’s got three of them back-to-back today, he’s in the second one now that should be finishing up. Do you need him?”
I glance to the side and back to Tobias. “Yeah, but I just need to talk to him. I can wait until after he’s done.”
“Stay here, let me see how things are going.” I nod. He turns around and heads into the meeting room that is adjacent to Nathaniel’s office and enters quietly. I walk back and forth in the hallway and a few minutes later the door clicks open, and Tobias comes back out closing the door just as quietly as when he entered.
I walk up to him, and he smiles again at me. “Second meeting is almost done. I told Alpha you’d like to speak with him, so he asked if you were okay waiting in his suite. The last meeting is a short one so he shouldn’t be long at all.”
“Oh… okay sure I can do that.”
“I’ll take you up there, not many people have access. Follow me.” Tobias walks past me, and I follow. We go back into the main foyer and up the grand staircase and onto the second floor. We stop at an elevator near the back of the right hallway. Tobias turns to face me, and I shuffle my feet awkwardly.
“This will pass between you. There’s clear attraction between you both. Why are you avoiding it?” I shake my head. “Uh…” I trail off, not wanting to really answer the question.
“Ivy?” He asks me and I look at the wall. Sighing, I respond.
“It’s not my place while I’m here. I want to be respectful to the pack and not pine over their Alpha.”
“That is false. But you and Alpha need to talk about it, so it’s good you will be soon.”
Without another word, Tobias inputs a code into the panel beside the elevator and the doors open. “This leads right into the living area of his quarters. He will be up soon, he said to make yourself at home.” I nod. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure.”
I walk into the elevator and Tobias smiles at me until the doors close and I feel the upward movement. It’s short lived as the doors open again and I gasp as I enter.
Nate’s quarters are massive, with an entire living area, kitchen… hell, it’s his own apartment.
“Woah.” I state as I walk around taking in all his modern decor, dark wood, white, grey, navy blue, black tones….
I walk into the living room and see the giant window that looks out onto the packlands, the night sky alight with red, pink, and orange tones as the sun sets. I make my way around taking in my surroundings, checking myself in the big standing mirror before one of the hallways. I dressed simple today, not thinking I was going to be having a serious conversation, but alas it is what it is. I adjust my grey leggings and smooth out my black cotton tank top and tighten my ponytail before settling in on the couch as I wait for Nate to finish up.
After about an hour, I start to panic with my own thoughts.
“God should I really be doing this?” I talk to myself as I stand and pace around the couch in circles, struggling with sticking around.
I walk over to the window, the sun having now set and the moon shining brightly in the sky. I close my eyes and take deep breaths trying to ground myself. “You can do this.” I say softly to myself, and I hear a quiet ding and spin around as the elevator doors open and Nate walks through.
The breath is knocked out of me as I see him for the first time in days. He looks at me with such emotion, I almost lose my resolve and go to him. I keep myself still as he walks further in, running his hands through his hair. “Tobias said you wanted to talk to me?” I nod.
“I do.”
“Are you okay if I change first? It’s been a long day.”
“Of course. I’ll be here.” He smiles and heads down the hallway near the mirror I was at earlier. I turn back and look out the window once more, waiting patiently.
It’s now or never.
I hear Nate come back out and I turn as he reaches the couch and signals for me to sit down. I sit across from him, and I hear him sigh loudly as he sits down, resting his elbows on his knees. He’s put on black sweats and a black tank. He’s also tied his hair back loosely. He looks at me and I sigh.
“What did you want to talk to me about, songbird.” He says quietly, as if he’s unsure if he wants to hear it.
I pull my legs up onto the couch, sitting cross legged as I look at him.
“What am I to you?”
Confusion crosses his face. “What do you mean?”
“What do I mean to you?”
“Why are you asking that?”
Stop deflecting.
“Why can’t you answer?”
“I want to know why you’re asking.”
“I wanted to talk to you, that requires you to answer me, not question me Nate.”
I sigh loudly in frustration, as Nate lowers his head, resting it in his hands.
The silence is deafening, but he finally answers as he lifts his head to look at me again. “You mean a hell of a whole lot to me. Hell, more than that even. But I want to know why you’re asking.”
“I’m asking because I’m really confused. I’m confused from your actions, my feelings…”
“What about your feelings?” He interjects and I tilt my head slightly.
“My feelings for you and if I should be having them.”
“Why would you be confused about that?” He asks genuinely and I look away, tears brimming.
“Because Nate, I have a lot of feelings for you, and I need to know if I need to stop.”
“Stop?” I look back and he notices my tears.
“You’ve been pushing me away ever since I got hurt, but my feelings for you have only grown. I need to know if I’m crossing some sort of boundary with you because if I need to stop feeling the way I do, I’d rather know now before I fall too deep.”
“Ivy…” He says softly, and the tears flow freely now. I try to wipe them from my face but give up.
“Nathaniel, you are soon to be Alpha King. You’re unmated, and I don’t want to be pining over someone that I know I shouldn’t be.”
“You don’t have to worry about that.”
“What do you mean? You just won’t take a mate at any point in your lifetime or your reign? You’ll just be alone?”
He stands and paces. “No. I won’t be alone.” I stand as well and go to stand behind the couch, not trusting myself as my anger rises. “Stop giving me half answers. I’m not going to be some sort of side chick to your fated mate, Nathaniel. I refuse to.”
“Like I said you won’t have to worry about that.”
I raise my voice. “Why do you keep saying that?!”
“Because.”
“Because why. Nathaniel answer me please.” I sob, everything coming to the surface. He walks behind the couch towards me and pulls me into him tightly. His hands trail up my body and rest on either side of my face as he looks at me with such adoration and worry.
“This isn’t how I wanted this to go…. This changes everything.”
“What does?”
“Ivy, you don’t need to worry about your feelings, my feelings, or anything about boundaries and the like because my mate is standing right in front of me.”
My eyes widen as I process what he’s saying.
“My mate is you, Ivy.”