NATALIE’S POV
The noontime rush started to populate the restaurants around me. The bustle in the air above my desk made all the clattering dishes and humming voices busy, even as I continued to stare down at paperwork. My mind refused to quit wandering-even as Brandon’s warning about Arlys wouldn’t quit echoing-and my chest held this overwhelming knot that tightened into something constricting.
At the knock on my office door, I drew breath, trying to push the anxiety right back down. My heart jumped, and a reflex wave of dread washed over me. I hadn’t expected anyone, and surprises weren’t exactly welcome after everything that had gone down.
“Come in,” I called, my voice steady, and deliberately chose not to look up.
“Robin,” I answered, forcing my tone into nonchalance. “What brings you here?”
He only shrugged casually, leaning against the frame. “I wanted to check up on you. You have been… distant lately.”
I swallowed. The air between us was so highly strained. “I’ve just been busy. A lot’s been going on.”
“With Brandon?” he asked something in his tone making gooseflesh rise on my arms.
To which I replied, “Yeah, with Brandon. It’s really complicated.”
He took one more step into the room and closed the door behind him. The click made me cringe.
“I see. He’s been around more, has he?” Robin took over for me this time.
“Robin…” I started, but he cut me off.
“I’m just worried, Natalie,” he said softer, almost pleading. “I don’t like seeing you like this. You’re not yourself.”
My eyes darted away; guilt was eating at me. He wasn’t wrong, though-I hadn’t been myself lately. All isn’t just about Brandon; it’s everything: the threats from Arlys, the constant pressure, and the fear that something could go wrong at any point. It was just too much.
“I’m okay,” I lied, the utter lack of conviction clear in my voice. “Just… got a lot going on right about now.”
“Is that him?” Robin continued questioning, looking just above my head as he moved one step further into the room. “What brought you in?”
“Not just him,” came my words way too quickly, and I shook my head. “It’s everything.”
“But it’s him,” almost pressed on Robin, eyes narrowed. “You don’t have to do this, Natalie. You don’t have to be with him.”
Indignation and anger pricked sharply inside. “Robin, you don’t know; this is not the other kind of problem that may be fixed.”
“Then help me understand,” he rashly pushed through. “I care about you, Natalie; I don’t like seeing you get hurt.”
“I’m not going to get hurt.” I snapped, my patience starting to wear thin. “And this is none of your business”.
At that, Robin looked directly at me with darkening eyes, hurt flashing across his face. “There was a time you trusted me with everything. There was a time I could talk to you about anything, Nat.”
“Well, a time I used to be a lot of things,” I replied sharply, with my words coming out more vehement than I intended. “But things change, Robin. People change.”
That had to have cut him because I winced with guilt again, but I wouldn’t change it. He had to understand that things had changed; that I was not who he’d known.
It was easy to recognize that Brandon had fixed his eyes on Robin’s before my office door burst open: The way his jaw had tightened and the tension in his stance.
“‘Hey, Honey.'” He never really took his eyes off Robin’s. There was just something secretive in that possession, some silent claim in his tone with her, that had my heart racing.
I added, my own tone softening now, feeling the tension between relief and anxiety:
Brandon crossed the room in just a few long strides, not even acknowledging Robin further, and bent in to kiss me. It wasn’t a soft, gentle kiss. The kiss was almost demanding, staking his claim. My heart felt like it did a flip, and not from the intensity of the kiss but because it was right in front of Robin’s face.
He kept one hand on my waist and finally pulled back, his eyes shifting to Robin with a cool, almost dismissive look. “I wasn’t aware we’re expecting visitors.”
A muscle worked in Robin’s jaw, tension welling in his eyes. “I just came by to check on Natalie,” he bit out.
“Well, she’s fine,” Brandon said smoothly, his tone laced with barely concealed hostility. “You can go now.”
It was almost a physical silence between them. Not that I mean a physical weight; I mean, it’s like I opened my mouth and tried to say anything. I had to stop whatever it was that was going on. Robin was the first to speak.
“Natalie,” he said so quietly, more like pleading, “Is that what you want, to be with him?”
Again I froze, the thumping in my heart resounding in my chest. I sensed the two waiting for my answer, their expectations pressing on me. For how was I to answer if I myself did not know the answer?
Brandon’s arm tightened around my waist, an encouragement to answer just because, now that he was there, he was standing up for me. I looked at him and saw the sentence of his jaw, nice and hard, the refusal in his eyes. He was daring me to say no, to choose Robin over that. But I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to.
Robin’s eyes bored into my face, searching for any sign that I was having second thoughts, that I didn’t really want this after all. But I put my best poker face on and gave him absolutely nothing to hook into.
“I’m sorry, Robin, but you need to go.”
Robin turned defeat on his shoulders at the last moment. Just before he walked out of the door, he turned around for one last look at me. “I hope you don’t regret this, Natalie,” he whispered in a voice hushed with hurt and walked out, the door softly closing behind him with a soft click.
That threw me; my mind was racing with a hundred thoughts-half of me wanted to run after him, put things straight, explain to him that none of this was about him-but I stood there like a stone. I couldn’t get my legs to move, and it was hard to think straight.
That was it: Brandon’s hand on the side of my waist; his hand had held me back, stopped me from losing it. I turned to him and looked for something in his face, anything that I had done right.