Micah POV.
Trust is something that’s not given but earned, a baby would always trust his mother, he trusts her to feed him, keep him warm, take care of him. Trust is blind, every kid would follow his mother to hell knowing she’d keep him safe, but then we as grow up, the trust shifts, we meet friends, one we trust with our deepest secret, one we share things with. Then we become teenagers, we trust our lovers, the ones who we fell in love with to honor our love, our relationship, to be there for us as we are there for them.
But then comes the biggest trust of them all, we trust our families, we trust our mommy, daddy, we trust the people who should have worked hard to get us the childhood we deserved, to get us to live happily, but what happens when that trust is broken, what about the small child who got burned in hell, about the friend who told everyone your secret or the lover who betrayed you.
Let me tell you my story, when I was born, my mother didn’t want to take care of me, I trusted her blindly, drinking the poison she gave me, but I didn’t die, wolves heal themselves, even young ones such as me, she used the wrong kind of poison on me, when I was a toddler she pushed me down the stairs hoping I’d die, newsflash, I survived with a broken hand. But why would my mother hate me so much? I’d explain that later.
As I grew up, I went to school with the rest of the pack kids, I trusted my friend, the beta’s kid, he was a good kid too, Joshua, he was my first friend ever, I trusted him enough to tell him my mother beat me, it’s a slap here and there, a hold too tight on my hand, a growl whenever I got close to her. Joshua told the whole class, told his parents, told the whole pack, Joshua betrayed my trust, but that wouldn’t be the only time he’d ever do that to me.
When my father found out, he got furious, with me, he punished me for telling Joshua family secrets, I shouldn’t tell anyone what happens in the house, whether it’s my parents fighting, mom trials to suicide a couple of times, or them hitting each other or me, it was all a secret, but no one bothered to tell me until now. I learned that lesson and decided to keep the secret, I never told anyone about how bad things are, or how bad they got back at home, I took the abuse and lived through it quietly, I was a good boy like that, keeping down to myself, staying quiet the whole time, no matter what.
At the age of fourteen, I found men more attractive than women, but by that age, I was taught about mates, about how the gods have chosen our mates, that no matter what I had no hand in choosing them, if I’m supposed to fall for a girl, maybe she’d be the prettiest of them all, maybe I could fall for a boy too. When I suggested falling for a boy, my father had beat me until I was bloody.
“No son of mine would be a faggots,” dad growled at me, I hoped the gods won’t give me a male mate then, unless if he could beat my father or change his mind.
At the age of fifteen, I asked my mother about how she and father met, you know how I said I’d explain later to why she hates me, why she tried to kill herself and me, several times. She wasn’t shy about sharing the story, she didn’t care if the details would be too graphic of hurt my feelings, she loved hurting me, seeing the pain in my eyes, it made her feel in control the control she lost over her life long time ago.
“I was never your father’s mate, my twin sister, as she was beautiful, even more, beautiful than me, when your father took over as alpha, we all went to congratulate him, he found out she was it,” she starts, I didn’t understand why she’d be with him if it’s her sister who’s supposed to be his mate.
“Then what?” I ask her confused.
“Then he took her, bitten her down the neck in front of everyone, she died three days later,” mom says tears glossing over her eyes, she then went into details about how my father killed her sister in an act of jealousy.
“He wasn’t done then, since we looked alike, he took me instead of her, made me marry him, mate with him, brings him a child that I never wanted,” she explains, no wonder my mother hates me, and my father, he was never meant to be her.
At the age of sixteen, I fell in love, I spent so much time away from home, I’m always training, always trying to be the best for my father, although he refuses to acknowledge my hard work, always calling me weak, always telling me I could do better. He was the alpha, I’m supposed to take his place, I’m supposed to be in charge too, but I didn’t want to be a cruel alpha like he is, feared by his wife and son, hated by the whole pack.
Joshua was training right next to me, being my future beta, taking his parent’s role in the pack, we spent such a long time together, just the two of us, we were friends, although I never forgave him for telling everyone my secret, I convinced myself that he only did it in a trial to protect me from any future abuse, not that his plan had worked at all. The training and long hours turned us into friends, friendship went just a little bit further.
I had a crush on him, he was my height, with brown curly hair, hazel eyes, and a killer smile, he was a warrior like me, defined body with many muscles, but he’s also a player, he had every girl in the pack falling for him, every girl and me. He dated a new girl every couple of weeks, some would think he was their mate, others would swear they are connected, but it was all a game for him, I knew I should’ve stayed away from a player, but I couldn’t he had me falling for him too, breaking my heart and trust in the worse way possible.
I took an oath upon myself, I will never trust or fall in love again… not ever…