Blake’s POV
I had tried to run after Ana to stop her from leaving but Selene stopped me saying that Ana was trying to gaslight me as she had personally come with her lover- the guy that ran after her. I knew that she wasn’t entirely correct and that she had her own motives but I knew I couldn’t face Ana, not right now.
I hate to do this. I hate to look stupid and spineless but, it’s only a matter of time.
“Let’s leave this place.” Selene suggested. I agreed and we left for a hotel. Selene and I ended up spending the night together.
“Blake, what’s really on your mind?” Selene said gently, moving away a little, resting on my chest region and looking deep into my eyes.
I sighed, rubbing the back of my head. “It’s just… complicated,” I admitted, my voice almost a whisper. “Ana and I… we’re not what we used to be.”
“Maybe it’s time to move on,” she suggested, her eyes searching mine. “You deserve to be happy.”
Happy. The word felt foreign, almost laughable. Could I ever be happy while betraying the woman who had trusted me with her heart? The guilt was there, but it was muted, buried under layers of indifference.
I said finally, there was such desolation in me. “I am not sure that I can. ” Selene crossed her arms and dropped into the chair. “You can’t live your life in limbo, Blake. You have to make a choice.
Her words hung in the air, heavy and unavoidable. But making a choice felt impossible. Either way, someone would get hurt. And deep down, I knew the person I was hurting the most was myself.
We spent the rest of the night together, but my mind was elsewhere, lost in the haze of alcohol and the temporary solace Selene provided. As I lay next to her, staring at the ceiling, I felt a pang of emptiness. Ana and I used to have goals and plans for the future and it seemed so far away and remote as if it belonged to another person in another life.
The truth was, I was spineless, I was a coward, more like the truth I wanted people to think. It seemed I did not have a single testicular instinct left in me, to face the music and not run away from the fact that my marriage was falling apart. The situation was much easier to slip into the arms of another woman and hide the sins in the covers of deceit and betrayal.
I don’t deserve Anastasia nor do I deserve her companionship.
The darkness before dawn, Selene lying next to me as sleep consumed me despite the fear which felt like it was inching closer with every passing moment. The lies and the betrayal were sure to have an effect one day and that day had come. But for now, I pushed those thoughts aside, content to live in the moment, in the false comfort that Selene provided.
I wonder what she must be doing right now, she would probably cry herself to sleep. She’ll be fine.
The next day would be when I’d have to face the consequences. But tonight I would get lost in the show, in the play, in the lie that everything was okay when in fact it was quite the opposite.
Anastasia’s POV
I felt nostalgic when he accepted the offer of having a drink with me. Sad, because it didn’t feel right and I felt it was the littlest way to say thank you. Happy, because I suddenly didn’t want to be alone.
Well- a drink became many drinks. Talking with him made me different, and lighter, I haven’t had a good laugh for a while now. He didn’t at any point judge me for what had happened the past hour, exactly what I needed- someone who could lift my mood without hinting at anything about Blake.
My phone pinged as messages from the group came rushing in.
Sofia: Ana, did you get home safely?
Anastasia: kinda, will talk in detail later.
I replied to the messages appreciating the fact that I have friends who are caring. I spilled the drink on my dress as I tried to sip from the glass-my drunken state setting in quickly.
“Oops!,” I said, releasing a gentle chortle “I will just go wash this off,”
I stood up quickly and stumbled on him, putting us in a position where our faces were in close contact. I stared at him for a while, my eyes slowly drifting to his lips.
Conflicting emotions battled within me. I felt guilt as a married woman but also an undeniable attraction as a woman.
I can’t believe the way I am feeling right now, having such intentions as a married woman. I could see Angel-little me and Devil-little me, giving separate advice they both deemed fit right. I don’t think I can help it.
It’s exactly at this moment you’d curse at emotions. The alcohol is adding fuel to the fire, and my vision is getting blurry, fast. The alcohol was clouding my judgment, making it hard to think clearly.
I leaned in closer and brought my face closer to his, feeling the warmth of his breath. I stared at him for some time before my eyes slowly drifted to his lips once again. I kissed his lips, without his consent. I felt embarrassed after I stopped kissing him. It was my impulsive thought that led to this and I felt like dying at that moment. I wished the floor would become a vacuum and vacuum me into exile. I tried moving back to run to the toilet
Before I could take my next step, he held my hands and dragged them causing me to fall onto his laps. The next I knew, our lips were locked together as we shared a passionate kiss.
This is wrong, I knew it was wrong but at this moment, I don’t care.