Maykl
Nikolai grabs my arm. “Let her go.”
I shake him off, even though moving pains my bruised ribs. “Kira!” I run out to the street in time to see Kira racing away toward the lake.
I start after her, but Nikolai calls after me. “Respect her wishes. Give her space.”
That stops me. I don’t want to disrespect Kira. I’ve already done plenty of that, starting with not telling her I killed her father.
Blyad’.
It guts me to stand and watch her go, though. Absolutely ruins me.
“Come. We need to check the bombs,” Nikolai reminds me.
Double-fuck.
He’s right. They were planting bombs to bring our entire building down.
I shudder to think what would’ve happened if we hadn’t known they were coming.
But no, we still would have caught them. They were clumsy and disorganized and had far too few men to actually take us down.
Dima is already examining one of the bombs. “It wasn’t armed yet,” he reports.
Nikolai goes to the other one, and I carefully pick up the third to bring to Dima for inspection, since explosives aren’t my area of expertise.
I hear the chatter on the comms. It sounds like the team who entered upstairs was quickly eliminated, as was the team who attempted to breach our air intake to pump in poisoned gas. Kuznets isn’t among any of the men killed.
Nikolai reports that three men got away, including Stepanov. He leaves out Kira also walking out.
I don’t know if she was still considered our prisoner, but it doesn’t matter. She proved her loyalty as far as I’m concerned. She disarmed Stepanov before he shot at Nikolai. And if Ravil wants to slit my throat for letting her walk, I’ll offer it to him.
At this point, I’d almost prefer that fate to the terrible ripping sensation in my chest. The feeling of having my heart rent from my chest and dragged flopping behind me on a chain.
And it isn’t from the bullet bruising my ribs.
Heartache doesn’t begin to describe the desolation crashing through me.
I walk through the parking garage and up the stairs.
I pass the first floor where I should go to report to Ravil. I keep walking up flight after flight. Passing my own floor.
Passing the next one and the next.
I walk up all forty flights of stairs until I get to the rooftop.
Only when I arrive out on the rooftop do I realize why I came here. I go to the railing and stand to look over the edge.
I’m looking for Kira.
Trying to figure out where she might have gone.
She had no jacket. No money. No passport. She’ll have to come back.
Except I know, as soon as I think it, that she won’t.
Kira is a warrior. She’s stubborn and strong. She will not slink back here to collect her things. No, the only way she’d come back would be with the FBI or police to arrest me for kidnapping and murder.
I search the sidewalks below, trace the lake shore for her slim figure or pale blonde hair, but of course, it’s dark. I can’t make out anyone down there.
Damn it.
“Where in the fuck is Maykl?” I hear Ravil demand in the comms unit.
“Coming.” I move for the door.
“In the basement,” Ravil instructs. “Where’s the girl?”
“I let her go.” Heaviness soaks the words. Like I just dropped an anchor into the depths of the sea and will never be able to move from the spot in my life again.
Ravil may kill me over this. Fuck. He may kill Kira over this. That I can’t allow. I jog into the elevator to take it down to the first floor.
But Nikolai speaks. “Kira may not be a problem. She ran because her boss dropped the bomb that Maykl pulled the trigger on her father.”
Ravil curses. “Is that true?”
“Yes, Pakhan.”
“And you knew that?”
The elevator plunges down. “I tried to tell her. I wanted to. But I also didn’t want to fuck things up.”
“It’s me you should have told,” Ravil growls.
I stab my fingers through my hair. “I know. I guess I was hoping…it wouldn’t come to light. He was my initiation kill. I was thirteen.” I slump against the side of the elevator then, purposely smacking my head into the wall just to feel something other than the anguish choking me. “I never knew Fate would bring me the one woman who wants me dead.”
The elevator doors open, and I step out into the scene. The bratva members quickly work to move bloody bodies onto laundry carts to be wheeled out the secret exit. The exit we used to get all the occupants out safely this afternoon.
Adrian looks at me as he drags a body out from the other elevator. Great. The entire inner circle has been privy to my fuck-up via the comms. “Maybe Fate brought her to you to make things right.”
I remember that Adrian kidnapped Kateryna because her father was responsible for enslaving Adrian’s sister, Nadia. What started out as a revenge mission turned into love.
But that was different. It wasn’t Kat who had done the harm to Adrian, it was her father.
I took Kira’s father, and there’s nothing I can say or do to make up for that.
I pull my comms unit out of my ear.
“So what happened?” Ravil demands. He and Maxim stand together giving orders.
I don’t have the energy to explain. Not even knowing Ravil may punish or kill me. Nikolai comes up beside me and recounts the entire scene to them.
“So we have Kuznets, Stepanov, and two soldiers still at large,” Maxim says.
“If Kuznets even came. He may have just sent Stepanov to do the dirty work. Then he’ll claim he knew nothing about it,” Ravil says.
“The phones I hacked have been discarded,” Dima reports.
Ravil curses. “Do we think Kira will make contact with them?”
I shake my head. “No. She was on our side before…”
“Her motivation is the nephew,” Maxim reminds us, and a streak of relief runs through me as I realize I know exactly where she is right now.
“I told her where they were staying,” I say.
“That’s where she’ll go.” Ravil pulls out his phone.
I must have a death wish because I reach for it. Maxim shoves me back. “Let her go,” I say gruffly. “She’s not a threat.”
“That’s for us to assess,” Maxim reminds me.
“Offer her help, then,” I plead. “She has nothing with herno phone or money, nor her passport. If we don’t want her to call Stepanov for assistance, we need to step in.”
“Oh, but I do want her to call Stepanov for assistance.” Ravil holds the phone to his ear. “How else will I kill the mudak?”
“Go and get her things,” Maxim says. “We’ll deliver them to the hotel for her.”
“After Dima installs trackers,” Ravil says.
“She won’t go to him.” I don’t know whether it’s true, or I just want it to be true. She may go running straight to her boss, considering what she now thinks of me.
Maxim points to the elevator. “Move, Maykl.”
I don’t, though. I’m having a hard time just remembering how to stand on my two feet. How to keep my heart beating. How to breathe.
Nothing feels natural anymore with Kira lost to me.
Dima comes to my side and takes my arm. “Come on. I’ll go with you to put the trackers in.”
Kira
I don’t realize how cold I am. The heat of betrayal propels me forward, along the lake, one foot in front of the other.
I can’t believe Maykl killed my father. Every horrible moment in my life has been wrought by the bratva. And the moment I start to think I can get past it, that I might actually be able to forgive and move on, I discover the man I was falling for murdered my father.
It’s just…too much to take.
I can’t even absorb the information. That’s why I ran.
Honestly, I don’t want to absorb it. I don’t want to think about it ever again. I just want to get the hell away from everything to do with the bratva.
Eventually, though, I stop and turn around. I’ve come a couple of miles, at least.
I don’t know where to go. What to do.
I turn out to face the lake, drawn to it. I walk down the sand beach to the shore. My tears are frozen to my cheeks. My fingers numb icicles.
I realize why I’m standing here. Because Anya’s out there. Her essence is cradled in that water.
“What would you do?” I whisper then instantly regret it. I know what Anya would do. Find a hit to numb her pain.
That’s when I remember Mika.
That he’s here to see me. In a hotel somewhere.
Blyad’, I have no money or phone to even take a bus anywhere. I walk back to the sidewalk.
“Excuse me?” I stop a couple on the street.
The woman gives me a frightened look. I’m sure I look strange in this Kevlar vest, with no jacket. My cheeks are probably bright pink, chapped from the wind.
“Do you have any idea where the Waldorf Astoria hotel is?”
The woman’s face clears. She points behind her. “It’s on the corner right there. At the end of this block, see the sign?”
It’s the first time anything has gone right for me on this trip.
“Yes, thank you.”
I shove the pain spearing my heart out of my awareness and just focus on Mika. I saw his photo. I know he’s alive. Hopefully the fact that he’s here wasn’t a lie.
The doorman holds the door open for me, and the warm air shocks my frozen skin. The lights are a glare to my eyes.
It’s late, so hardly anyone is around. I don’t even know who to ask for at the front desk. I could try Mika’s name, but I doubt it will work.
But then a man gets up from the bar and comes toward me. I don’t know him, but he must be bratvaI see the tattoos that creep above the collar of his expensive shirt. Plus, he’s carrying my purse and suitcase.
I stand in the middle of the beautiful lobby, trembling. Waiting for him to come to me.
“Kira?”
I nod.
“You look like him.” He tips his head. “And her.”
So he knew Anya.
Tears fill my eyes. “Are you?
The man holds out a hand. “My name is Vlad. I’m Mika’s adopted father.”
“Oh.” Tears spill down my cheeks.
He holds out the suitcase and my purse. “Maykl brought your things by for you. And he wanted me to give you this.” He takes a thick envelope from inside his jacket pocket and hands it to me. The flap is open, and inside I see a stack of one hundred dollar bills. “For your hotel expenses.”
“Where’s”
“You can see Mika in the morning. Let’s get you checked in.” He picks up my suitcase again.
The man is unbelievably kind. Another bratva man who doesn’t fit the image in my mind. And Maykl brought my things…
I barely keep from dropping to my knees and crying like a baby.
Somehow, I follow Vlad to the reception desk and provide my passport and a credit card to get checked in.
Vlad carries my suitcase to the elevator and gets in it with me.
I marshal my thoughts. “What happened to Anya here? Why is Mika with you?”
Vlad’s lips thin into a line. “Anya abandoned Mika with us not long after she moved here.” He tips his head. “She had a nasty drug habit.”
The old me would’ve lashed back that it was the bratva’s fault, but I don’t have any fight left in me. Nothing is black or white anymore. Good or bad.
The elevator stops on my floor, and we get out. Vlad goes on. “Honestly, I considered Mika to be Aleksi’s problem since he’s the one who brought them out with us. But…” He draws a breath. “I was called back to Russia for personal matters, and while I was away, the men in my cellincluding Aleksiwere massacred by the Italian mafia. When I returned, I found Mika had been living on his own in our house for weeks. He’d been stealing food and wallets from the streets to get by. I took him back to Russia, but he did not wish to contact his family. He did go and look in the window at his grandmother once but decided against making contact.”
Tears spill from my eyes. “Yes…my mother wasn’t much to him. She wasn’t much to anybody. I can see that.”
“He stayed with me in Volgograd, and after I moved to Las Vegas to marry, my wife and I legally adopted him. My wife is a teacher. She tutored him up, and now he’s in high school. Straight A’s. He’s a very smart kid.” Vlad says it proudly and fresh tears streak my cheeks. “He’s not interested in sports, but he’s strong. He boxes at a gym.” Vlad shrugs. “Grew up with violence.” He says it matter-of-factly.
Once more, I can’t find it in me to rail against that violence. Not when it seems Mika found people who love and care for him.
We stop in front of my door.
“Thank you,” I say. “I…look forward to seeing him in the morning.”
“We’re in suite 399. Come at ten.”
I still, suddenly wondering if it’s safe for me. But of course, if Maykl’s cell wanted me back, they would have grabbed me downstairs.
“It’s not a trap,” Vlad says as if reading my mind. “Although if you know where to find your boss, there are some people who want him dead.” He doesn’t wait for my reply, he just strides off in his tailored slacks and shined shoes, his gait both graceful and lethallike a lion in his jungle.
I open the hotel door and go inside. My skin burns from the cold. My head aches. I’m parched from so much crying. I should take a shower, but I can’t put the effort in. Instead, I fall face down on the bed and don’t move until morning.
Maykl
I stay out of my apartment, sitting downstairs at the front desk all night. I’m not watching the door for her.
I know she won’t be back.
Especially not when I brought her things to her and made it easy for her to go home.
Ravil hasn’t green-lighted the return of the civilians to the building yet, so it’s dead quiet. Of course, it’s always dead quiet at this time of night.
The lobby suffered a few bullet holes, but the blood’s been scrubbed from the floors and the bodies disposed of. My biggest failure as a gatekeeper. I couldn’t keep Kira out of the building, nor out of my heart.
It’s a wonder I’m still breathing. I still don’t know what Ravil might have in store for me.
I text Kira. I know there’s nothing I can do to give you back your father. I’m sorry for the pain I caused you and your family. If you ever need anything, I will provide it.
I don’t expect her to answer. I’m not dumb enough to believe she will. But I want her to have my number, just the same. I would do almost anything for her if she asked me toswallow nails. Jump off a cliff.
Dima gave me access to the app he uses to monitor her trackers, so I know she hasn’t moved from her hotel room since Vlad texted me that she checked in.
I don’t sleep. I’m not trying to stay awake, either, but no part of me wants to close my eyes.
Every time I do, I see Kira’s face when Stepanov told her. The way she looked at methe pain of my betrayal evident in the horror in her eyes.
I spend the night going over and over what I could have done differently. What I could do to ease the trauma I inflicted, but I come up with nothing.
What’s done is done. I don’t know how to fix it.
But I also don’t know how to go on. She was only here a few short days, but in that time, she left an indelible mark on me. I’m forever changed by knowing her. By tasting her. By seeing her cry.
I don’t see how I can make it through another day knowing how badly I hurt her. Only God knows that I never meant to.