An hour later, Anna was curled up on her couch feeling sorry for herself when a knock at the door sounded. Her head snapped up. She knew without even looking out the window that it was Cedric. She seemed to be able to sense his presence. Even when she didn’t want to.
But she couldn’t hide from him forever. She’d had a couple of days to cry and wallow in her misery. Now it was time to reclaim her life. This was her house. And she wasn’t going to give it up because she’d made the mistake of loving a man who was incapable of loving her back. It didn’t matter what he said. He didn’t love her… She refused to believe it because she didn’t trust him. Hopefully, soon he’d get tired of staying at Haerton like he usually did, then he’d go back to the city and leave her alone.
She ran her fingers under her eyes, wiping away any stray teardrops, then checked her reflection in the closest mirror. Her hair was a mess, she wasn’t wearing makeup and she looked like exactly what she was. A woman who’d spent too much time lately crying. He knocked again, louder this time and Anna steeled herself as she opened the door. Her heart squeezed in her chest. He looked so good and she’d missed him so much.
“Anna,” he whispered, a relieved smile creasing his features. “Thank God.
I’ve been looking for you for days.”
“What do you want, Cedric?” she asked, hugging the edge of the door close, positioning herself across the entryway so he couldn’t slip into the house.
He inhaled sharply, blew the breath out in a rush and nodded. “Right. Okay.
There’s a lot I want to talk to you about, but let’s start with this.” He held out a sheaf of papers.
She sighed, took them and glanced at the bold, black letters across the top. It was their signed contract. “What?”
“It’s the contract we signed before we got married, Anna,” he said quickly, giving her that half smile she loved so much. “I want you to know that it doesn’t matter to me anymore. I want us to stay married to you. Be a real family. Raise our child together.”
She looked down at the paper in her hand, then lifted her gaze to his beautiful eyes. Shaking her head, she said, “Don’t you get it, Cedric? I don’t want this. I don’t want anything from you. I don’t want to be married to you anymore.” She threw the contract over his head and watched it flutter in the wind until it landed on her lawn. “Now, please. Just go away.”
She closed the door on him and tried not to remember the stunned surprise flickering in his gaze. Then she leaned back against the door and let the tears fall again. She’d thought she was finished crying, but apparently, there were more tears locked inside.
Cedric didn’t understand. How could she do this? This was about them. This was about how she loved him and how he loved her. This was about their child.
“Anna,” he said, his voice coming through the door clearly, “don’t do this.”
She held her breath, closed her eyes and waited him out. Finally, she heard his footsteps as he left the porch and took the steps. When she didn’t hear anything else, she slowly sank to the floor, hugged her knees to her chest and sat there silently until she heard him turn and walk away. She’d done the right thing, Anna knew. She had to be strong. She couldn’t let herself be hurt again. She just didn’t think she would survive another broken heart. Turning him away was the only thing she could do. Maybe his reaction was late, but right now, he was reacting to having lost her. He’d once told her that he didn’t lose, so naturally, he wouldn’t give up easily. But eventually, if she stayed strong enough, he’d give up and go away.
Bright and early the next morning though, he was back, pounding on her front door. “Anna! Anna, open up! Talk to me, dammit.”
She staggered from bed in the semi darkness of the night just as dawn broke.
She hadn’t planned to answer the door if he came back. Wouldn’t have actually, if he hadn’t kept shouting her name so loudly. If she didn’t open her door, her neighbours would be calling the police in a few minutes. Clutching her pale pink robe to her chest, she threw the door open. Cold wind scuttled past her and sent a chill zipping through her body. The sky behind him was a pale violet and studded with dark clouds. The sun hadn’t risen yet, but it was close.
Cedric looked as if he hadn’t slept. His hair was wild, as if he’d been driving his fingers through it all night. His white shirt was wrinkled, there was a day’s growth of whiskers on his jaw and his eyes were shadowed. He held a latte from the diner in each hand. “I brought you coffee.” He paused, “I urmmm…. I don’t know if it’s okay for pregnant women to take coffee though,”
She sighed, reached out and took one. Fine. He knew her weakness. But that didn’t mean anything. Nor did the fact that she’d accepted the coffee. “I can take a little, but Cedric , you have to stop.”
“No, I don’t,” he told her, stepping in close. “I won’t stop. Not until you hear me out.”
Anna sighed again, heavier this time. He looked as bad as she felt. Why drag this on for either of them? Wouldn’t it be easier to just let him say what he felt that he had to say? Then maybe he’d go away. “Okay, talk.”
He blinked at her. “Can’t I come in?”
“No.”
He huffed out a breath, muttered something she didn’t quite catch and let his head fall back. “Fine. You don’t want me in your house, I’ll just say it right here.” His gaze met hers. “Anna, I love you.”
Her breath caught. How amazing that pain could just keep growing. “Cedric… don’t…”
“I do.” He reached out and when she would have shut the door, he slapped one hand against it, preventing her from closing herself off from him again. “Look, I know I screwed up. I know you’re hurt. And pissed. And you’ve got every right to be. But dammit, Anna, I’ve never felt this way before. Maybe that’s why I’m messing it up so badly. It’s all new to me. You’re new to me. But that doesn’t make it less true. I love you, Anna. I really do.”