Would Cedric love this small life as she would? Or had this child ever only been a means to an end? Would their son or daughter grow up knowing that the only reason for their existence was a stipulation in a will? Would they find out somehow that they hadn’t been wanted? That an inheritance and a university degree were more important than they were?
Anna’s hand crept down to her stomach, her palm pressed there as if to protect the life growing inside her from the harshness of her thoughts. No. No.
A fierce feeling of protectiveness filled her, a certainty that went down to the bedrock of her soul. Their child would not grow up neglected and hurt the way its parents had been. It would not feel the pain of not being accepted, of being ignored. It would not know what it was like to be unwanted, and she would make sure of that with everything in her.
She’d always thought she wouldn’t make a good mother, but the intensity of the emotion in her heart now made her realize that her doubt didn’t matter. Neither did her fear. It was love that was the important part. And it was love that would guide her.
Warm arms snaked suddenly around her waist and she was pulled back against a hard, hot male body. His lips brushed the side of her neck, his breath warm on her skin, and she shivered.
“There you are, Anna,” Cedric murmured. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. The limo is due to arrive in about…” He stopped, his gaze meeting hers in the mirror, sharpening. “You’re upset. What’s wrong?”
There was a note of concern and tenderness in his voice that made her whole soul ache in a way it hadn’t before.
Did he feel the same light inside him? He’d never spoken of love beyond that one warning he’d given her, that whatever was between them had to remain purely physical. But that had been before their honeymoon. Before the weeks of magic they’d created between them.
He frowned, his gaze searching her face. “What is it, honey? You’ve gone pale.”
Anna turned around and looked up at him. He had his tux on for the gala he was taking her to, his black bow tie undone and hanging around his neck. His white shirt was open at the neck, exposing the golden skin of his throat.
The stark black and white of his evening attire highlighted his wide shoulders and strong chest, the dramatic masculine beauty of his face. His eyes were that midnight dark she’d come to love so much.
Yes. Love.
She loved him.
But your marriage will end. Did it have to, though? Couldn’t they go on with what they were doing? They were a family now, and their marriage might as well be a real one, given she and Cedric were already living together. So…why not?
Her heart was full, pushing against her breastbone, and she couldn’t speak. Doubt swirled in her head, but she ignored it. This was about more than her fear and what she wanted. This was about what was best for their child.
So she picked up the stick sitting on the vanity and showed him.
Cedric went very still, his gaze zeroing in on the stick. Then he murmured something emphatic under his breath and he shifted his attention from the stick to her. His eyes glowed with something fierce and hot, a possessive kind of look that had the bright, silvery feeling inside her shining. Then he cupped her face between his hands and kissed her hard and long and deep. Every part of her thrilled to it. To the satisfaction in that kiss and the possession, the fierce taste of his triumph.
Yes. He wants this too.
Cedric lifted his head, his eyes glowing, his beautiful mouth curving in a smile of triumph, and she knew it was true. He wanted this as badly as she did.
“Anna,” he murmured, nudging her gently up against the vanity. “I can’t think of a more incredible woman than you.”
Anna put her hands on his chest, smiling up at him, breathless with the most intense happiness. “It wasn’t all me. You had a part in it as well.”
“It’s true, I did.” His hands ran down her sides lightly.
She wore a golden gown in preparation for the gala that he’d handpicked himself. It was a close-fitting sheath that left her shoulders and arms bare, while the deep vee of the neckline made the most of her decolletage.
“In that case we are both amazing.” He kissed her again, hungrier this time. “This is exactly what I wanted, baby, exactly what I wanted.”
A family with him. Happiness… She leaned against his strong chest, loving the heat of him against her. “I…know we agreed to be together just until the child is conceived, but…” She hesitated a moment, looking up into his eyes. “We could stay together.”
He frowned a little. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…perhaps we could stay being married.” She smoothed the white cotton of his shirt over the hard, muscled plane of his chest. “We could continue living together, being together. We could even raise our child together.” She swallowed.” We could be a family.”
There was a moment’s intense silence and Anna knew instantly she’d said the wrong thing.
“Why?” The word was flat, an iron bar. “Why would you want that?”
Her hands firmed on his chest as she tried not to respond to the cold note in his voice. “Well, wouldn’t that be best for the child? To have both parents?”
Some of the tension had gone out of him, though the smile he gave her was forced. “Yes, I suppose that’s true.”
“It is, and besides, what if this child is a girl? Would you want to stop trying for a boy?”
“No.” Something hot and fierce glowed in his eyes. “You really want to stay being my wife, Anna?”
“Yes. Of course I want that.”
He stared at her, his expression suddenly intense and even fiercer. “A family,” he murmured, as if half to himself. “Yes, why not? Dad would have hated that. He hated seeing me happy,”
And just like that, the bright light inside her dimmed. Because it wasn’t desire for her or for their child that ran through the center of him, she could sense it in the tension in his muscles, see it in the taut lines of his face. It was anger. Which meant the past still had him in its grip.